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Am I a Sadist? - 10/31/2005 9:17:58 PM   
Msfrauline


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		As my dominance over my husband continues to grow I have noticed that I enjoy doing things to him that are freaky and bizarre. He will do ANYTHING for me. The harsher I treat him the more submissive he gets. I do things that drive him out of his mind but do nothing for me sexually. It's simply enjoyable to sit and watch him squirm. It's more of a mental trip than anything. For instance I love to torture him by pulling his chest hair out and not allow him to make a sound. He wants to scream but some how he holds it all back. I often do this while I am watching T.V. It's "fun" for me but not sexually fascninating. Does this make me a Sadist?
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 1:24:29 AM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry, I'm not a Mistress but found your question interesting.
Dictionary says sadism is one or more of these..

1)The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others.

2)The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.

3)Extreme cruelty.

You say its "fun" and simply enjoyable to do what you describe. So I guess the question is - does this mean 'pleasurable' to you. If so yes you're a sadist (description 2) If not, then no

I often wonder how many Femdoms really get sexual pleasure from inflicting pain particularily physical pain. I'd like to think most do otherwise it's a bit one sided in favour of the submissive? Please forgive my naiveness on the subject..and your husband is very lucky

< Message edited by Sardaxia -- 11/1/2005 1:25:14 AM >

(in reply to Msfrauline)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 3:43:03 AM   
Foibey


Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like sadism to me. I generally get a big non-sexual kick out of inflicting pain (as well as anything sexual that goes with what's generally going on).

(in reply to Sardaxia)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 5:03:57 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		The term sadist was recently discussed in a group that I co-own on another area of the net. Here is a few paragraphs that I wrote on the subject.

quote:

Sadomasochism (S&M) is a combined term that has been traditionally used for the giving & receiving of pain for erotic gratification. However, such a simple definition is inadequate for describing what is a very complex type of behavior. Sadism & masochism are terms that were first used in a consistent scientific way by a psychoanalyst named Richard von Krafft-Ebing in 1885. In his work Psychopathia Sexualis he defined sadism as the experience of sexual pleasurable sensations (including orgasm) produced by acts of cruelty, bodily punishment afflicted on one's person or when witnessed by others, be they animals or human beings. He also said it may consist of an innate desire to humiliate, hurt, wound or even destroy others in order to create sexual pleasure in one's self.

The term sadism itself is derived from the Marquis de Sade who lived during the 18th & early 19th century.

Havelock Ellis (Studies in the Psychology of Sex, 1942) narrowed down the definitions by saying that when we understand that it is pain only & not cruelty, that is the essential in this group of manifestations (sadomasochism) we begin to come nearer to their explanation. The masochist desires to experience pain, but generally they desire it to be inflicted in love; the sadist desires to inflict pain, but in some cases, if not in most, the sadist desires that it should be felt as love.

Ellis continues with an important point... the sadist is concerned with the sexual pleasure of the "victim". He in fact wrote that "the sadist by no means wishes to exclude the victim's pleasure, & may even regard that pleasure as essential to his own satisfaction"


This last paragraph states that the sadistic act is not preformed just for the pleasure of the one carrying out the torturous acts & would discount so many of the buzzes about dominants/tops being topped from the bottom. It is possible to carry out activities with our submissive's/bottom's desire in mind rather than solely our own.

Keep on plucking those chest hairs you sadist... LOL!!



< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 11/1/2005 5:04:43 AM >

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MstrssPassion


(in reply to Msfrauline)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 7:56:23 AM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Your comments here about enjoying this are ~ seemingly anyway ~ in contrast to what you wrote in your profile. Are you becoming more comfortable with this, considering the various forms of pleasure you get out of it, and your husband's apparent enjoyment?

You seem fascinated by your own power and amusement and now want to analyze it to see if it fits a definition or is "okay".

If you are enjoying yourself, what matter whether or not you're a sadist or what he is, just that the two of you derive pleasure (of any sort) and amusement from eachother.

< Message edited by WalterRego -- 11/1/2005 7:58:36 AM >

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 10:23:09 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		If you think the chest hairs are fun you should see the looks and squirming that accompany the plucking of pubic hair.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 12:48:40 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Does this make me a Sadist?


I think you are what you identify as. It is certainly in line with the definition of sadism.

My mind is extremely deviant and I consider myself to be quite sadistic but for me, it always has to be in the realm of seduction and sensuality. But I realise this is not the case for everyone.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Msfrauline)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 11:23:41 PM   
Msfrauline


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for your reply.
Yes, allmost overnight I have become more and more interested in participating in this scene as he calls it. I am very comfortable with the things that we have done. He says I am cold and distant which he loves. I am a very non emotional, non-demonstrative type who doesn't really express herself all that well. But when I am torturing him, I can do it effortlessly without caring if he is enjoying himself at all. I literally torment him as yet at the same time show him no attention at all. It's fun.

A year ago I couldn't even whip him. Today his ass is black and blue from the beating I gave hime on Sunday. The funny thing is, he thinks he's weird or crazy because he loves this so much but I truly don't.

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 11:26:20 PM   
Msfrauline


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Trust me, the more I do this the more I like and pretty soon he won't have any chest hairs left and I couldn't care less.

Thanks for your reply.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/1/2005 11:28:49 PM   
Msfrauline


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		I have attempted pubic hairs but not very often but that will be my next venture. It's too muc effort to get him out of his pants. With the chest hairs they are right there under his shirt and I can even do it in public and no one knows the differents.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/2/2005 6:22:31 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

A year ago I couldn't even whip him. Today his ass is black and blue from the beating I gave hime on Sunday. The funny thing is, he thinks he's weird or crazy because he loves this so much but I truly don't.


Ah the male ego. Often times I have been asked by a boy "do you think I'm crazy for liking this?". I think it's all about taking time to adjust and getting comfortable with our kink.

Sounds like you two are adjusting just fine!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Msfrauline)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/2/2005 11:27:28 AM   
Sardaxia


Posts: 54
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		You don't love it so much or you don't think he's crazy? I think you mean the latter - if so, it sound a great relationship!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/2/2005 11:40:35 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sardaxia

You don't love it so much or you don't think he's crazy? I think you mean the latter - if so, it sound a great relationship!


I absolutely do not think someone is crazy for being a masochist, no.

I think however that people need to do a little introspection as to why they are a masochist without bending themselves out of shape about it. There is a balance between understanding and just accepting one's self.

And as for my boy, just as he loves the sum of me, sadistic domina included, I love the sum of him, socially dominant masochistic obedient devotee and all!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/2/2005 11:41:20 AM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/2/2005 1:37:06 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		MsFrauline, it sounds like you are having a wonderful time! Enjoy yourself!

I agree, doing things that are possible in public is great fun---cbt in the car, while waiting for a red light to change......... <G>

When I was playing with my first real supermasochist, he insisted that I was a sadist, and I fought against the term, but now I totally accept it. I am only sadistic in a consensual way---I would never just grab someone off the street and abuse them, or harm a child or animal. If the other party is not interested, then I am not, either.

Don't worry about what to call yourself, just keep playing.

:)F

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Am I a Sadist? - 11/2/2005 11:29:39 PM   
Msfrauline


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		It's strange really. I was so scared to do anything at fiirst but now I am comming up with new things to do with and to him all of the time. Part of me can't believe I am doing it at all while the other part of me can't wait until the next torment that will send him squirming to his knees. In my heart I know I don't want to truly hurt him. He is a wonderful man who has treated me like a Goddess from the day we met and it hasn't changed.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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