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Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 5:45:31 AM   
asyouwishmaster


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline 		I'm curious if anyone has pursued therapy to help them with issues, concerns, decisions, or understanding of what the lifestyle means to them? Do you think there are "kink" friendly Psychologists, Psychiatrists, or therapists that may understand the lifestyle?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 5:46:40 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I haven't persued therapy specifically to help in understanding the bdsm or Ds stuff, but there are what is known as "kink aware professionals" (which I'm sure someone will offer the link for) and many therapists who are aware and glad to work through it.

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 5:53:30 AM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline 		deleted by
pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 11/1/2005 5:54:14 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 8:34:54 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I haven't persued therapy specifically to help in understanding the bdsm or Ds stuff, but there are what is known as "kink aware professionals" (which I'm sure someone will offer the link for) and many therapists who are aware and glad to work through it.


Kink Aware Professionals http://www.bannon.com/kap/


_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 9:00:12 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I, my husband and my slave are currently in family therapy because my stress level is too freaking high and it is being fed by dynamics in the household.

Most of it has nothing to do with my slave but he is part of this household and everything in it contributes to how each relationship and each individual works.

We use my old individual therapist because I've sort of educated her on my lifestyle and she's met the men before.

Her primary concern is that I'm functioning the best I can and that everyone in the household is doing likewise. I don't think one needs a kinky therapist to get guidence and objectivity just one that has clear goals and who is focused on helping you help yourself first and foremost.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 9:00:30 AM   
TenderDom2k


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		Oh boy. Well, I'm REALLY going out on a limb here. I AM a therapist. Actually I'm a psychiatrist who does mainly therapy. I have patients who have definite sub tendencies/desires. How I try to help them is to understand and come into ownership of this part of who they are. The danger is when they deny or are not aware of this part of their mind. Then they are ripe targets for the predators out there. And believe me I've heard my share of horror stories.

So as you can infer, in my own professional thinking, there is no contradiction between fully owning one's BDSM side and therapy. In fact, I feel it's fully inline with furthering one's knowledge of oneself and full integration and ownership of oneself.

The going out on a limb bit is that I'm always weary of folks being freaked out by shrinks, given all the weirdo, poorly trained, bad shrinks out there. The one's who are working out their own issues through their work. Plus all the stereotypes. Plus all the people I'm trying to meet who get reminded of their own shrink when thinking of me, then have the atmosphere killed. :-(

Being a Dom though, I keep hoping against hope that some sub out there will understand that the shrink training has given me extra mental powers, what I jokingly refer to sometimes as Jedi powers. :-)

TenderDom2k

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 9:17:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Do you think there are "kink" friendly Psychologists, Psychiatrists, or therapists that may understand the lifestyle?


guaranteed, you can find a counselor willing to take your money and listen to your problems and ignore the parts about you fondly reflecting on the marks Master gave you last night.....plenty of the activites we in this "lifestyle" enjoy border on, if not flagrantly flies in the face of, certain laws that therapists are required to work within the reporting confines of. while they might claim to "understand" it, the DSM they operate out of STILL classifies the desire for and participation in this "lifestyle" as a disorder, a mental illness for which therapy might be able to "cure" you. how much you are willing or able to spend has a direct relation to the type and quality of care you will be offered. God help you if you are receiving any sort of government help with your medical issues.

quote:

In May, 2003, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) met in San Francisco to debate
removing such paraphilias (sexual perversions) as pedophilia, transvestism, fetishism, voyeurism,
and sadomasochism from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-IV-TR)......http://traditionalvalues.org/pdf_files/PedsHomosexuals.pdf#search='DSM%20SadoMasochism'


as you can see from the above website, a variety of previously confirmed mental disorders are being challenged, but are still being "debated" as the code remains unchanged. the "ones" fighting to keep us labelled sick perverts are the same "ones" that want this website and ones like it, shut down, n'est-ce pas?

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 10:01:53 AM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		My impression is that manditory reporting laws have been getting stronger, that it is now easy to place the pro in the position of choosing either to follow the law or do what is best for the client by not reporting it.

I certanly would arm myself with the knowledge of where the line is before I walked through the door. I would not cross it until I was convinced both that I could trust the pro and that he/she had the ability to help me if they knew everything.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 10:24:41 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Do you think there are "kink" friendly Psychologists, Psychiatrists, or therapists that may understand the lifestyle?


guaranteed, you can find a counselor willing to take your money and listen to your problems and ignore the parts about you fondly reflecting on the marks Master gave you last night.....plenty of the activites we in this "lifestyle" enjoy border on, if not flagrantly flies in the face of, certain laws that therapists are required to work within the reporting confines of. while they might claim to "understand" it, the DSM they operate out of STILL classifies the desire for and participation in this "lifestyle" as a disorder, a mental illness for which therapy might be able to "cure" you. how much you are willing or able to spend has a direct relation to the type and quality of care you will be offered. God help you if you are receiving any sort of government help with your medical issues.

quote:

In May, 2003, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) met in San Francisco to debate
removing such paraphilias (sexual perversions) as pedophilia, transvestism, fetishism, voyeurism,
and sadomasochism from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-IV-TR)......http://traditionalvalues.org/pdf_files/PedsHomosexuals.pdf#search='DSM%20SadoMasochism'


as you can see from the above website, a variety of previously confirmed mental disorders are being challenged, but are still being "debated" as the code remains unchanged. the "ones" fighting to keep us labelled sick perverts are the same "ones" that want this website and ones like it, shut down, n'est-ce pas?



It's best to go to the source. The DSMIVTR defines sadism and masochism paraphilias only when the client wishes to have his or her needs and desires modified or when the needs and desires interfer materially with day to day life. Where the problem lies is that many therapists grew up with the DSMIII and haven't read the updated material.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 11:11:40 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Where the problem lies is that many therapists grew up with the DSMIII and haven't read the updated material.


with all due respect, this slave believes the problem lies within a society that insists on labelling consensual acts of personal choice indicative of a disease.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 11:13:29 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asyouwishmaster
I'm curious if anyone has pursued therapy to help them with issues, concerns, decisions, or understanding of what the lifestyle means to them? Do you think there are "kink" friendly Psychologists, Psychiatrists, or therapists that may understand the lifestyle?


I went to see a therapist twice in my life...once when I was about 19 and had specific issues to deal with, and just felt tons better after verbalizing what happened...never went back after letting it out. The next time was when I had to make the decision to leave my first job (which felt like family), after 10 years of employment. I struggled with the decision, and thought I might find the answer through talking about it. (FYI, I found the answers myself. )

I tend to think that many people use these types of Message Forums to let things out. I know I've gotten insight into so much through friends, and even more via strangers online, when it came to things I was struggling with, and trying to figure out related to the lifestyle. Sometimes the hiding behind the computer screen allows the real feelings to flow easier, but better yet....you can also pick and choose the advice that you want to accept. And...it doesn't cost a cent!

K

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 11:29:45 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I have never been to therapy, but I sure feel like I'm in it since learning about my submissive nature, this lifestyle and falling in love with my dominate. So, many things that I haven't addressed have come to the surface over the last 6 months. It's exciting to see a new me emerging out of the mess I have been.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 11:44:47 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I'm curious if anyone has pursued therapy to help them with issues, concerns, decisions, or understanding of what the lifestyle means to them? Do you think there are "kink" friendly Psychologists, Psychiatrists, or therapists that may understand the lifestyle?


All psychologists and psychiatrists are Kink Aware. They may not be Kink Friendly. That is the only difference. However, a good way to find out if they are is during the first appointment ask them. Or don't even wait until then. Ask before you make it.

While in college the field I was pursuing somewhat made me go to counseling. So, my answer is yes I have been to counseling. Doug still goes to counseling. I feel it is very important for a person to truly know who they are before committing to something and not understanding why.

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 1:23:11 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenderDom2k

Oh boy. Well, I'm REALLY going out on a limb here. I AM a therapist. Actually I'm a psychiatrist who does mainly therapy. I have patients who have definite sub tendencies/desires. How I try to help them is to understand and come into ownership of this part of who they are. The danger is when they deny or are not aware of this part of their mind. Then they are ripe targets for the predators out there. And believe me I've heard my share of horror stories.

So as you can infer, in my own professional thinking, there is no contradiction between fully owning one's BDSM side and therapy. In fact, I feel it's fully inline with furthering one's knowledge of oneself and full integration and ownership of oneself.

The going out on a limb bit is that I'm always weary of folks being freaked out by shrinks, given all the weirdo, poorly trained, bad shrinks out there. The one's who are working out their own issues through their work. Plus all the stereotypes. Plus all the people I'm trying to meet who get reminded of their own shrink when thinking of me, then have the atmosphere killed. :-(

Being a Dom though, I keep hoping against hope that some sub out there will understand that the shrink training has given me extra mental powers, what I jokingly refer to sometimes as Jedi powers. :-)

TenderDom2k


It's good to hear from a psychiatrist who is also kink. I like the comment about Jedi powers and I too have come accross the dark side of the force practised by professionals (both Psychologists and Psychiatrists). It would seem that we both use similar aproaches although most kink people I deal with have issues which when looked at closely are in fact basic relationship or personality problems with kink overtones. Normally I'm able to seperate the kink from the non kink and deal with the seperately untill I deem it appropriate to marry the two together and complete the counselling or other treatment with everything in balance.



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to TenderDom2k)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 2:00:20 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It's good to hear from a psychiatrist who is also kink.


Ever hear of Dr. Charles Moser?

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 2:27:24 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I see a therapist twice a month for just over a year. Although I entered therapy for specific issues unrelated to sexuality, it has become a major topic of discussion over the past six months.

I don't feel a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist would need to "understand the lifestyle" or be kink friendly to be an effective therapist though. I do think it may be an issue as far as comfort level perhaps. For me, I prefer someone that will challenge my thinking and force articulation on these subjects, rather than "understand." I can talk to many people w/in the lifestyle that understand or identify. And I don't have to pay them.

That being said I would not want a psychologist that interjected his or her personal morality into therapy on ANY issue or subject.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 2:30:12 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

It's good to hear from a psychiatrist who is also kink.


Ever hear of Dr. Charles Moser?



He's an MD with a PhD in sexology from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. He's an LCSW, but he's not a psychiatrist. They have a lengthy, and pretty confusing, post-degree series of hoops to jump through.

He can medicate so it's almost as good.



< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 11/1/2005 2:36:59 PM >

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 3:01:14 PM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		In New Zealand, attitudes to mental illness and psychiatric care are fairly supportive, & psychotherapy using a range of modalities would be advocated. The relationship with psychiatry is more trouble and problematic. The history of Psychiatry, i,e Charcot at Saltpedre, etc is a different matter because most of the early sexological texts before say Ellis and Krafft Von Ebbing tended to have highly pathologised, medicalised account of sex and sexuality. Today, psychiatrists are a much more chimeric lot than 20-30 years. Unless aspects of the lifestyle were a major part of the malady itself most empathetic GPs are reasonabluyopen-minded and would may not give a referral 'because of abberant' behaviour. THings like self-mutilation, nympthomania, and high risk taking beheaviours might get you noticed. However, at least here, no would bat an eyelid if you were cumslut or spanking Bear so long as it did not have direct and cleat effect on your health and well-being.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 3:05:19 PM   
Jacques1000


Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline 		What discipline is your own PhD John, and deed you come across our own John Money at JHU and Dr. Simon Marginson from UNSW ?

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Therapy and the Lifestyle - 11/1/2005 3:14:34 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I haven't pursued specific kink therapy, but I would like to (if I had health insurance). My dom often pushes me to find someone to talk to about my desires, fantasies, and personal issues, but since I can't afford it right now, I'm sorta out of luck.

I do think it is a good idea. And I do think there are therapists out there who can help.

As for TenderDom2K, I would personally be creeped out, having a shrink as a dom. But good luck in your search!

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to asyouwishmaster)
Profile   Post #: 20
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