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A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:10:30 PM

blackbeard519

Posts: 19
Joined: 6/8/2008
Status: offline

Evening all;

I've recently started searching for a new partner and re-did my profile here. Before I lived in the Greater Toronto Area and didn't really have to worry about having my picture up.

That's changed. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, so I didn't feel comfortable having my pic up

What presumptions are made when you see no profile pic?

A female friend once told me that she didn't put profile pics up because it helped her weed out the "shallow ones".

I'd be interested to see what ppl have to say about this.

Post #: 1

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:21:56 PM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

To be fair, I don't put a picture up for two reasons:

1 - I do not want people contacting me specifically for my appearance; by denying them a picture, they cannot do so.

2 - I do not want anyone infringing on my privacy. By failing to post a picture, it's much harder to determine who I am unless I volunteer the information myself. This matters both on a personal and, more so, a professional level to me.

Perhaps contrary to expectations, I've had more interesting email exchanges with those who do not have photos compared to those who have; half the time the people posting them are lazy and don't have them... but the other half they tend to have reasons not to post them; often the more intelligent ones seem to not have photos posted.

Granted, my sample may be biased, but that is what I've found.

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Post #: 2

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:22:22 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Most people want some kind of picture so they can make sure you aren't two feet tall and eight feet wide. Exaggeration but you get the point. Would a picture of you in sunlight but your face shaded by a hat and therefore unidentifiable be impossible to post? Or a pic of you from behind? Just enough to verify size and shape and hopefully gender?

I don't have any pictures up, nor did he. He was willing to exchange pictures if I needed prior to the meet, my reluctance came from my inability to work the damned scanner. Got a new printer last year and this one I can work about half the time, couldn't figure out the previous old one at all. Possibly that was two scanners/printers back and even less user friendly.

However technological incompetence is only acceptable at my age.

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Post #: 3

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:23:38 PM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline

No picture doesn't generally bother me. I'm far more interested in what they write in their profile (or at least I was, when I was looking). Basic physical stats filled out too are important. I wasn't so much interested in any BDSM interests either - more what they listed their "regular" interests as being (types of music, politics, hobbies etc).

CM allows "anonymous" type pics, so there is no reason you can't put something up that allows people to see YOU and get some idea of who you are, without being able to identify your face or recognise you by an immediately identifiable location. I had one up for a time of me sitting in an easy chair, with my face hidden by a book. Browse some profiles with pics to get some ideas perhaps.

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If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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Post #: 4

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:26:29 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

What if it's a giant picture of the word one, how many words is that worth? These are the questions someone should be asking.

_____
|ONE|
^

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1421036/mpage_1/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1906893
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1694188/mpage_1/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1552397

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Post #: 5

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:31:53 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

whats in a picture? how do you know its really them in the first place? its so easy to save a pic from somewhere and post it in your profile.

i have as many pic's as i do because i have nothing to hide. i even have a vid. i dont care if someone i know see's me...since most that i knew are no longer in my life anyway. they know that im messed up and into weird things. they've known that since i was like 14.

its not like i get any replies to my profile anyway..since im not in bdsm for sex. so it wouldnt matter if i had pic or not. the mistress's that are left are almost always pro anyway...so finding one that isnt and is gay...and doesnt want relationship based on sex...is...fat chance.

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Post #: 6

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:32:37 PM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Most people want some kind of picture so they can make sure you aren't two feet tall and eight feet wide. Exaggeration but you get the point. Would a picture of you in sunlight but your face shaded by a hat and therefore unidentifiable be impossible to post? Or a pic of you from behind? Just enough to verify size and shape and hopefully gender?

Yes, but if people are lying, that all falls out in the end anyways.

If someone reads my profile and thinks I am full of shit or won't start a conversation with me unless I post a picture of some sort, I'd prefer they not bother. I guarantee it is not my loss.

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Post #: 7

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 4:43:09 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I won't post a photo in here, and I say so in the profile. I also say that I will be glad to send one via email, and always do so. I haven't gotten any flack for that so far.

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Post #: 8

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 5:00:32 PM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

I chose to put my photo up because so many were asking to prove, and because I wanted to prove I was real... work-wise, I'm finally settled in a job and so have no worries over someone stumbling over it and it being an issue, I work alone and if big boss was here he would'nt mention it!

But when I start my next job-hunt, in two months or two years, I'll take it down. Just in case I interview and someone thinks 'hmm she looks familar' and no it wouldnt be two-faced or anything, in childcare what you get up to may not be acceptable for your kiddies carer.

But as I'm seeking, I find I respond better to those who write coherently and if mailing have read my profile, rather than those with pics. My idea of attractiveness is way off what most peoples is and so I ask for a photo later if none is forthcoming.

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Post #: 9

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 5:18:45 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I use photos but I can also weed out the shallow ones based on the direction of their conversation.. it took me some time to decide on using a picture that showed my face... I live in a small city and work in a very large organization but like going to munches which I also resisted at first ,, any one that comes here needs to register so if they did they likely have and interest in BDSM as well, since being on here I have been identified by one couple.....not from my city...or work .... I met them thru volunteering and their in Toronto and we have a lot of acquaintances in common, we have had a chat and they told me a bit about themselves and me about myself in regards to the lifestyle, neither of us had to say we want discretion it is simply an accepted fact

As for pictures of doms it is not a deal breaker.. would prefer to see one shortly after contact but I would probably asking pretty much up front it married or have a significant other... I find the vast majority are... which is the reason some will avoid thise who do not provide a photo

Your other option if concerned about being recognized is to use a photo where face shot is blurred/ in shadow so as to give others a rough idea of your build

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Post #: 10

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 5:38:29 PM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackbeard519

Evening all;

I've recently started searching for a new partner and re-did my profile here. Before I lived in the Greater Toronto Area and didn't really have to worry about having my picture up.

That's changed. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, so I didn't feel comfortable having my pic up

What presumptions are made when you see no profile pic?

A female friend once told me that she didn't put profile pics up because it helped her weed out the "shallow ones".

I'd be interested to see what ppl have to say about this.

i don't make any assumptions about the 'no pic on profile' Dom. Some are married, some are afraid for Their employment, etc. Your decision not to put a picture on Yr profile is understanable too -- N/none of U/us wants to be 'outted' against O/our will.

i am less 'accepting' of the Dom who refuses to send a picture as an email attachment after a reasonable period of time. i tend to drop Them. i've heard excuses like "I have no picture d/l'd on my pc' or 'I can't trust you not to put it on the 'net', and they just don't wash with me.

i wish You the best in Yr search.

pinksugarsub

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Post #: 11

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 6:00:18 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

This is one of the most spectacular profile pictures I have ever seen.

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/380693/rzrt/19423/details.htm

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Post #: 12

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 7:28:36 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

damn its not of a hot woman in leather....oh well..

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 13

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 7:46:57 PM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

i dont have a picture on this profile, i did on my former one. this computer wont talk to the printer here (goddamned vista) and so i cant put a new one up that doesnt show my face. i *do* have one earmarked for when i get resettled.

it isnt about me in this case, its about TheEngineer. his life needs more privacy than mine and i wont affect him negatively. i dont have that right.

kitten

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 8:43:31 PM

Marc2b

Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

For me it is simply because I don’t want to ever experience that awkward moment where somebody, like the bank teller perhaps, says to me "Hey! I know you! You’re that guy on Collar Me!"

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Post #: 15

RE: A Picture is worth 1000 words - 6/14/2008 9:13:02 PM

Sanity

Posts: 22039
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Nampa, Idaho USA
Status: offline

Most of the bank tellers I know are cute... and it wouldn't bother me one bit to talk with one of them about collarme.com if she had the nerve to bring it up. We could discuss it extensively, over coffee if she would like...

Sometimes an odd smile here or there from some people around town make me wonder what they're thinking... and if they're smiling because they know me from here then so much the better.

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Post #: 16

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