dont know what to put here lol (Full Version)

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idontknowdou -> dont know what to put here lol (6/14/2008 10:22:55 PM)

ok something just really bothered me so i want others opinions. is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.yes i been around for some time now but i not the type to just jump into things.even a sub should still watch out for themself so they dont get into a bad sitiuation. could say im more careful. than anything.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/14/2008 10:54:09 PM)

Unless you wre born into slavery, it would be hard to say that it's bad that you haven't been owned yet.

The beauty of consent is that you get to do whatever works for you.  Use your good sense and start listening inside yourself.

Unless you can't trust yourself- and then you shouldn't be getting into any sort of relationship.



kiwisub12 -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 9:06:00 AM)

Please share with the group what has disturbed you. It will make it easier to give advice/opinions/smart arse comments. [:)]



OsideGirl -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 10:34:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou
is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.
Nope, not at all.  Honestly, I tend to be more concerned about people that have been collared or owned multiple times.

I'm a person that takes things slowly. I want to get to know my partner. Figure out if I like him without BDSM or D/s clouding the picture. I was with the same man for six years and never accepted his collar. I felt that the relationship was just never in the right place for it.

In 15 years, I've been with three Dominants and I've only been collared to one. He's the man that I'm now married to.

So, it's all about what you're comfortable with and what you're looking for in a relationship.



lally3 -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 11:53:57 AM)

how can it be wrong.  im wondering where this question is coming from.

finding the right person takes time and care to reach the point where you feel safe to submit yourself.  being 'new' doesnt mean youre clueless, you have, im assuming a pretty good handle on who you are and what you want, in the right hands those instincts and needs will fall into place.  the fact that you havent found those right hands yet is no reflection on you, other than the fact that youre being very smart and taking your time.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 12:21:10 PM)

For me, a sub with less experience is more fun in some ways.  I enjoy being the first to try something with a partner, whether it's in the kinky world or the vanilla one.  The most important thing is that you've looked deep within yourself and are sure of what you want whether it's part-time play or a 24/7 relationship.  I think you're doing the right thing by moving slowly and taking care of yourself. 
 
Best of luck.



beargonewild -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 4:11:28 PM)

Frankly I don't see your issue being wrong in the sense that you don't jump into things. It sounds like you are taking an active responsibility for your personal safety and proceeding slow enough to where you learn what you can before making any decisions. Far too often we hear of a sub thinking they know enough and jump into a situation which isn't suited to them. So once that relationship ends badly, they are wandering around in misery and blaming everyone else and forgetting to see they made an incorrect choice at that time. We all make mistakes and some make bigger mistakes then others. 



pinksugarsub -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 6:55:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou

ok something just really bothered me so i want others opinions. is it wrong that a sub has never been owned yet espeically one that just learning.yes i been around for some time now but i not the type to just jump into things.even a sub should still watch out for themself so they dont get into a bad sitiuation. could say im more careful. than anything.


idontknowdou, it helps me better understand the writer if T/they use at least an approximation of proper grammar.
 
A capital letter to indicate the beginning of a sentence, for example. 
 
But that's an aside.
 
How could it be 'wrong' that a submissive has never been owned?  Every collared submissive was once unowned. i've never been collared, and no Dom has ever suggested that this in any way devalues me -- Some even prefer it.
 
pinksugarsub



idontknowdou -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/15/2008 8:58:09 PM)

ty for the opinions. they helped alot especially knowing i have like 20things going through my brain at once at times.



eepsy -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:16:01 AM)

Why does not having been owned before bother you, even? I doubt anyone's going to fault you for thinking through your decisions and making careful considerations.



girlygurl -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:24:11 AM)

I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be and I'm very happy with our relationship. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us. If that's what you desire then I'm sure it will come with time. You know what they say... all good things come to those who wait. [;)]

girly



eepsy -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:25:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be and I'm very happy with our relationship. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us. If that's what you desire then I'm sure it will come with time. You know what they say... all good things come to those who wait. [;)]

girly


Sorry, I'm getting a little confused. You're his but you're not owned. I understand not collared, but not owned?



lilabbotsfordgrl -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:35:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

I've been with my Sir for 18 months and I'm not owned.... nor will I be.. I'm His, He knows I'm His and that's all that matters to us.


I'm with eepsy.  Being someone's makes you theirs, at least according to the English language.  Then again, relationships defy all logic sometimes!  :)



lilabbotsfordgrl -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:37:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: idontknowdou
is it wrong that a sub has never been owned


I'd have to go with no, it's not wrong that a sub hasn't been owned.



lilabbotsfordgrl -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 1:38:07 AM)

For example, one can be submissive as soon as one has such thoughts.  It can be long before puberty, even.  And more than likely, that submissive has never been owned.  They're not 'wrong' because of it.



Sandyshores29718 -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 5:26:39 AM)

*fast reply*

i've yet to be owned, but have had play partners. i'm pretty picky about my relationships Ds or vanilla. Nothing wrong with just taking a step back and looking. IMO Just dont be too scared hun, you could miss out on a lot. :)



Puppy4goodHome -> RE: dont know what to put here lol (6/16/2008 5:48:34 AM)

Nothing is wrong with it you need to be picky on who you will alow to Collar you some will disagree or get upset at how i say that but it is the truth just like a Domme Or Dom has to be picky on who they will collar you have to know that it is right and that you are not a bad match with your Mistress



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