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Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 6:30:04 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i have often told Men i have a hard limit relating to one of Their "interests and skills" only to be told "o, I have never done that; I just added to pique interest." i have also had Men tell me They were older than claimed to be on Their profiles. The reason given for this is to avoid a perceived bias against older Doms and Masters.

Neither one of these statements sits well with me. Puffery in Your profile is akin to puffery in Your resume; You are not a Harvard grad if all You did was attend a summer school class. You are not a successful litigator if You once sat second chair. You are not a King of the Mountain in anyone's mind but Yours...and down here on earth, lying on Your profile seems self-defeating if what You seek is someone's trust.

i was just struck by the number of Men who admitted lying on Their profiles to me, and thought i'd ask. And BTW, this is a full-dimensional question; i have no doubt that "puffery" (to be nice about it) appears on a percent of profiles of any segment of the BDSM rainbow.

candystripper
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 6:37:32 PM   
Tempestspet


Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, but then...why would I? If one person doesn't like me, or what I have to say...or basically who I am... why in the world would I care? But then, I'm pretty secure in who I am. There's someone out there for everyone. Sometimes it just takes patience, not lying, to get there.

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 6:42:41 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Nope, my profile is up to attract a potential someone who's into what I am into. It's long enogh n complicated enough not to need to puff it upLOL. n if noboy likes my age interests size ect ect they know where the door is. please don't make a mess on the way out,

(in reply to Tempestspet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 6:51:53 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Nope, I haven't lied. I also haven't met the slave of my dreams yet. Maybe I should "enhance" my profile with a few tall tales? No, I don't think so. LOL

Seriously, though... I'm waiting to see if anyone who DOES lie in a profile is going to admit it here. That wouldn't be too bright, would it? But then, I don't think it's very bright to lie in the first place, so who knows. Maybe the police could use this tactice to catch the really dumb criminals. Just ask them to post their confessions on a message board.

Next topic: Have you shoplifted?

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:04:53 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		I think my profile says something about me being 46 and fat (if not this one, then my alt one definitely does). Why would I lie about that? I'm seeking a specific type of person. Lies would interfere with my ability to find that person.

Now, I've been lied to many times by individuals claiming to BE that person I seek, but them I tend to figure out in an email or two.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:13:41 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think people lie in all sorts of ways. Some lie about age. Some lie about weight. Some lie by omission. Some lie outright.

Some lie by putting old pics that are no longer representative of what they look like on their profile. A "friend" once told me that she had gained a significant amount of weight since the pic in her profile had been taken but she kept it up because it's how she liked to remember herself. Mmmmkay, but that's still a lie, especially on a site where people are trying to meet others for relationships based on honesty and trust.

The degrees vary, but they're all lies.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:14:36 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		Nope. I was probably a little too honest in mine. I'm just me, take me or leave me, as I am.


Sarah

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:15:35 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think what's most likely to happen is that those who do lie will post pointing out how others lie. Hmm...guess that makes me a suspect, huh?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHyde

Seriously, though... I'm waiting to see if anyone who DOES lie in a profile is going to admit it here.


(in reply to MasterHyde)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:16:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well my official 7 year scene anniversary is still two weeks away so that could be a lie.

Before I was 21, I'd lie to be able to get onto a few discussion lists.

The lists of things people check off on their interests lists is just that- an interest. Unless they specifically write about it in their profile, I don't take it seriously.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:17:04 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Nope, but when I wrote my profile here it was not so anyone would contact me. I originally came to collarme because my best friend heard about the site from a friend.

He said check it out, he is someone I respect so here I was. I wrote my profile in less than 2 minutes. I even updated it here not long ago to reflect my age as it is now. At least I think I did, I know I did but no idea if it was ever approved.

Why lie to someone if you are seeking a relationship filled with trust? You've already broken the trust.
Makes no sense at all.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:17:09 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Some lie by putting old pics that are no longer representative of what they look like on their profile. A "friend" once told me that she had gained a significant amount of weight since the pic in her profile had been taken but she kept it up because it's how she liked to remember herself.


I was told by a dominant in whom I was very interested, when we first met in person, that he was pleased to see that I wasn't nearly as large as I'd made him believe I was. I have to wonder if that would constitute a lie, since I did represent myself as I see me, but it gave him an entirely different impression.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:21:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce I have to wonder if that would constitute a lie, since I did represent myself as I see me, but it gave him an entirely different impression.

LOL I used to worry about that on my old pic. I'd always get people saying how they loved my "shiny red hair" and I'd have to go "Oh no, my hair is just brown with some auburn, it's just the light."

But I don't worry too much about it, being one of the rare few who doesn't color their hair in any form these days, I'm sure no one expects consistent hair color to be a big deal.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 7:22:11 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		That depends. Did you send him a pic of yourself 30, 40 or 50 lbs heavier than you are now knowing that it wasn't representative of how you looked at the time? If yes, then I'd say that was a lie. If not then I'd chalk it up to the fact that most of us women are way too hard on ourselves

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
I was told by a dominant in whom I was very interested, when we first met in person, that he was pleased to see that I wasn't nearly as large as I'd made him believe I was. I have to wonder if that would constitute a lie, since I did represent myself as I see me, but it gave him an entirely different impression.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:03:07 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I bet you was just being facetious when you said next has any one shop lifted,

But actually my friends and I shop lifted when we were kids Little things like candy and packets of coolaid an stuff, one time I got caught trying to steal a case of maxy pads, the clerk told me to get out and never come back and she wouldn't call the cops

(in reply to MasterHyde)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:06:42 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		I think I am being too honest in my profile and here on the message boards (by too honest I mean giving too much information about myself). I never ever lie, not even those small insignificant lies to make someones/my life easier like most people do.

I have been told more than once that my honesty is not something to be proud of for it is too cruel to tell everyone exactly everything I think right in the face. Rare people appreciate it.

Anyway, what would be point of lying? I am not one little bit in any cyber games, I want to meet any potential sub/slave in real as soon as possible so lying is of no use to me.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:08:46 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I've just been thinking about the whole issues of people lying in profiles, resumes, or what have you..

I think that sometimes someone really believes they could do something, if given the chance. I can't think of an example at the moment, but I hope it makes sense...

Also, I think a lot of times, a person might think (in the case of profiles) that if the other person gets to know me, that stuff won't matter (such as age or weight). The whole love with help others see past my short comings.

When leaving things in the eyes of the person writing the profile, often they see themselves differently. I gained a lot of weight a few years ago, and although I knew the scale had gone up, I really honestly and truly saw only a very minimal change in the mirror's reflection. It wasn't until I saw my grad pictures from college that I realized just how much I had really gained. I learned that regardless of what I see in the mirror, I can't truly judge myself because I see something different than what others see. I now use other methods to judge myself...

I don't really think most lie on purpose, I think sometimes it is accidental or as mentioned previously, by ommission.



< Message edited by mystictryst -- 11/1/2005 8:15:28 PM >

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:12:05 PM   
undisciplined99


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, never could lie worth a damn in person, so why do it when I can't carry it off anyway? Besides, If I do meet someone, I want them to want the real me. And of course there's my middle aged memory...how'm I going to remember what I put there if I don't tell the truth?

Tom

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:12:54 PM   
angelthighhighs


Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline 		it bothers me when people lie on their profiles but for me what bothers me most is if they lie about their experience or skill in this lifestyle. it worries me because of safety..... for the Dominant if they say they're skilled in flogging, whips, wax, whatever....and in truth don't know anything. they get a sub who perhaps is inexperienced also and they start to scene. one/or both could get hurt more than wanted. or for a sub who lies and says oh yeah i like a lot of pain (having never been whipped or anything) and the sub has their first experience. what if they met a Dominant that is more Sadistic than they're ready for? the sub could get hurt, have a bad experience and its not fair to the Dominant because they're thinking one thing and its completely different.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:19:42 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thus far I've been 100% me and honest. What's the fun in lying when the truth about me shocks even more.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Have You Lied on Your Profile? Why? - 11/1/2005 8:26:03 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I lie like a rug - almost everything I post is a lie.

Why you ask? Because I'm a man and men are baaaaaaad.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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