RE: Dom wants younger sub too

RE: Dom wants younger sub too (Full Version)

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Calbammer -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/5/2005 12:50:47 AM)
Hello all again, I like to say thank you to all of those who took no sides for any of this and added their comments expressing that their are two sides to this story. There is her side to it which is taken from her point of view, then there is my side, also taken from my point fo view and then there is the truth, which lies somewhere in between the two different sides. My ex-sub has valid concerns and views, something that I had respected from day one. I also had my concerns and views, to which she listen and consdiered. I had hoped, that when all was said and done, things would have worked out for the best, but that was wishful thinking on my part with my ex-sub. Now to other points I would like to address. First off, thank you dark~angel for being wise and considerate in your replies. I appreciated the way you look at the various things being mention and gave your humble opinion, which showed no bias towards anyone in this matter. Again, thank you for doing that. There were a few others that i would like to thank as well, but do not want to make this to long in doing so. I would like to address a few other things, some that were brought up here and things my ex-sub, in recent private messages she recently brought up that pertained to this particular post she sent. First off, my profile has not changed one bit for the past several months, except in the journal notes part. Everything is as it always has been for some time. I have always listed my desire for sub(s) in a plural manner in case I had met more than one very special lady on this web site. I was willing to always consider a single sub, but they would have needed to have met most of what I sought (interests) as I am sure any Dom or sub seeks in their partner. Second, my ex-sub mention that I should have shared with this group on why she was punished and called me a 'coward' for not doing so. I guess, she wants me to share with all of you, what it was she got punished for and how it was implemented. So, I will grant her wish and share with you what happen and you can then judge for yourself if she deserved what she got. She, after deciding that she wanted to become my sub, the first time, was disrespectful in more than one way and had earned a couple fo swats for it. A few days later, after having another fit of anger or what ever you want to call it, she told me to "f-off", twice and was quite smugged with herself for doing it. She did this while chatting with me and she was in quite a mood while doing it too. She stated that she wanted nothing to do with me then and a few days later, came back asking me to accept her apology for her bad and rude behavior. I did, with the understanding that she would be discipline for it. She agreed and I gave her 15 swats for it, 4 on her breasts and 11 on her behind. A few of them left red marks and bruises (a few days later), but no welts. And in a harsh email tonight,she again, she told me to "f-off" again, never wanting to see me again, again. The reason I did not share this with the group in the first post I wrote on this matter was out of respect for my ex-sub. Apparently, she did not see it that way and wanted me to post it, so, as I had said before, granted her request. I am not asking you to decide who is right on this matter, I am just asking you to decide for yourself if I was being honorable towards her on this matter. I wish my ex-sub well in her search in finding happiness. I am sorry that I could not have been the one to provide it for her. And I wish all those who read this post one more time, luck, if they are still searching, and happiness if they have already found the One they want to be with. Good luck to all of you. Sincerely, Calbammer

Kasia -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/5/2005 2:45:07 AM)
Calbammer, I dont see that anyones bussiness here is why and how you punish your sub. What I was refering about is that your intention of taking a new sub before you even established relationship with first one was hasty and superficial behaviour. In my opinion it is hard enough to start relationship with one person, not to try to do that with two at once. The reason you gave to your ex-sub of taking someone else to bear you more children shows very unrealistic and superficial views on life, subs, children and relationships. I dont wonder why she is your ex now - you might give yourself some more time and get actually to know someone before you rush around looking for additions. If you want succesful relationship.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/5/2005 4:02:25 PM)
Not a reply to anyone in particular, and just a general observation. In reading this thread, My first thought was "What a wonderful example of the difference between a sub and a slave." As I continued to read I thought, "What a wonderful example of the difference between a sub and a slave". If we would want to try to give a concrete example (especially in a poly household situation), this would be it.

SirSix72 -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/5/2005 4:34:04 PM)
Tal Calbammer, I would agree with the way you took care of the matter.....and I agree with others by them posting that this is the difference in between a slave and submissive.......bella tried this approach with me early when she was a submissive but after a few sessions with the belt and being sent home to mommas house she changed her attitude and came back a Owned slave......It took several times for me to finally adjust her to the lifestyle and since the adjustment I couldnt be more proud to Own her......sometimes we must wade through the muddy waters that this lifetlyeholds for us untill we find the right person with their emotions in check..... Master Six

Soulhuntre -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/8/2005 1:47:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenxx The younger man looked up, his eyes slightly glazed, and said “I guess so.” After a few seconds of hesitation he continued, “we are just coming from the hospital. Their mom just died and I’m a little shocked still.” Guess how everyone felt after that…. LOL. I just hear that same story on a podcast in a fairly different context :) quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo And you would choose to start a submissive and dominant relationship just so you could have more children? I don't consider having children "just" anything. I consider it a fairly important and tiem consuming endeavour. I absolutely could see starting a relationship specifically to facilitate the process. quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo What about this theorethical woman? Shouldn't she be more and have more to offer than just a baby making womb? If that is all that is wanted, more kids, adopt them, hired a surrogant. I don't recall either the situation described in the OP or I being centered around using this person as only a womb. In fact both situations seemed fairly clear to me that the intention was for that person to remain in the household after. But we could go down that dicsussion path if you wish. Yes, I could adopt or hire a surrogate but I can absolutely see how it might be iinteresting or useful to find someoen who I was more connected to for the job. Not to mention that I am very picky about the genetics I would involve in such a situation so it is possible that my preferences would not be available as a surrogate or in adoption. But yes, I have also considered adopting or surrogates. quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I just don't see that as any decent way to start a Ds relationship. Thats OK, you don't have to :) quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Of course, the OP may only be presenting one reason why the dominant in question wants a younger submissive but as presented it just blew my mind that this was the single reason for such an important relationship. And as an owner, frankly a very silly reason and very narrow minded reason. I don't see ti as anything of the kind. The relationship between myself and the mother of my child would, I hope, be a deep one for all it's basically singularity of purpose. I would hope (well, I know since if it wasnt true she would not have been chosen) that this designation woudl be both a honor and fulfilling to her. I am not sure how the idea fo being a mother is "narrow" at all - it seems to me that the job is large and varied :) quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I'm thinking of a few historical cases where supposedly a slave was purchased for one skill or one reason and that was always protrayed in the literature and the documents as being one example of just how stupid that master or mistress was. Then your liturature is biased or incomplete. There are many circumstances historically when single purpose slavery was both common and completely practical. I have no doubt many owners did make stupid choices on who to own - but the concept of a single purpose slave is not the deciding factor. It's a simple cost / benefit ratio - even now. How much time / energy / money does it take to have that person vs. what do they provide in rturn. quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo Getting a submissive or a slave for just one reason seems very foolish to me. I, for one, am worth so much more than just a one-trick slave. Give me my time (and money if this were the historical periods of slavery) worth. I believe your underlying assumtions are flawed about the wide range of specialty skills that exist or their value.

cltcdrd -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/8/2005 2:03:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caliblonde I am new to the lifestyle and moving in with my Dom this month. He is looking for a younger sub also because he wants more children. The question I have for everyone is should I help him find the new sub? [:o]He says yes and I say no. All input will be greatly appreciated. Hmmm, I don't speak up much, but this one caught my eye enough that I felt the need to. From the sounds of it Cali, this was not something that had been originally discussed? Being new (and since I am unaware of how 'new' you are) it is often easy to make mistakes and do things simply because we feel we HAVE to. But, if this was discussed between you before the decision was made to move in with him, then yes, you SHOULD DEFINITLY assist in the search. This is a person who will be sharing a great deal of time with you. Would you invite a stranger into your home to stay for an indefinite time? Of course not. This situation is no different. Also, you should sit down and let your Master know your misgivings about this. Tell him why you feel as if you should not, listen to his explanation's, and then go from there.

Cloudz -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/8/2005 2:09:11 PM)
You are new to the lifestyle and moving in with your Dom this month? And he wants you to find another sub, AND you don't want to be part of it? Am I the only one screaming here? Please...hit your emergency brake, get out, have a smoke or whatever to clear your head. There is a major train wreck bearing down on your life!!!! Cloudz

Cloudz -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/8/2005 2:10:27 PM)
If everyone is in agreement with the poly relationship - then I would say absolutely do it the way you described. ~Cloudz

cltcdrd -> RE: Dom wants younger sub too (11/8/2005 2:34:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cloudz You are new to the lifestyle and moving in with your Dom this month? And he wants you to find another sub, AND you don't want to be part of it? Am I the only one screaming here? Please...hit your emergency brake, get out, have a smoke or whatever to clear your head. There is a major train wreck bearing down on your life!!!! Cloudz LOL, you have said it perfectly :)

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