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how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/1/2005 8:02:55 PM

mrskitty2004

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/19/2005
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I need to find out how can someone please tell me how i can find the RIGHT MASTER,there are some ou there thast doens't know how ot be a real MASTER,Thast what iam looking for,In ARKANSAS area,I hope someone out there can help me with this.

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/1/2005 8:13:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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The same way you know it's the right anything- it fulfills you, it's what works for you and what you see yourself working in for the long term.

It's similar to knowing you've found the right husband.

(in reply to mrskitty2004)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/1/2005 8:23:35 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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i think you must first have a vision of Him; His Character; His strength of Honor; His manner of discipling you; etc. By the same token, you may wish to envision the flaws or traits which are deal-breakers for you. Lying is one of mine.

Having done this; possibly in writing, you might wish to peruse the AK Masters and Doms; the "search" function here has some good criteria...and contact a Man who strikes you as "on your wavelength". i never have found this helpful, but i can relocate; so i can wait for Men who contact me.

Finally; in disagreement with others here, i would not be quick to dismiss the Man who sends a one-line query; the Man who misspells; the Man whose "interests and skills" list does not match your own. i don't receive (nor probably send) many emails free of spelling or grammar errors...i just cannot proofread my own stuff and sometimes dash off an email.

There's no way to predict how long your search may take; but i think if you know what you are searching for -- and NOT searching for -- it will help you recognise Him when He appears. And to attract Him, i suggest you always review your profile from time to time to see whether anything has changed in your feelings, etc.

i wish you a blessed search.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/1/2005 8:25:32 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/1/2005 8:41:31 PM

OscarHargraves

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If you have any real doubts then he probably isn't the right one. Trust your heart and your head.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to mrskitty2004)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/1/2005 8:50:21 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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For most people there is what they need and what they want. It's important that this Mr Right is really what you need more than what you want. After all, if it's a want rather than a need, then you'll be getting your way more than what the Dom will. So focus on the Dom you need that can love, tame, and discipline you.

The right Dom may not be Mr Perfect but he will and should be able to:

1. make it feel good

2. make it hurt if you like it or not

3. have enough love to discipline you when needed

4. and have confidence in all made dicissions and actions.

Perhaps there are a few more things should be added but 1 2 3 and 4 are the most important that I can think of right now.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 12:45:18 AM

xlanadreamsx

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All I can suggest is that you try and keep trying until you find someone who makes you as happy as you make them.

Never give up and never settle for something that makes YOU less than content. A good Master's role is to keep you happy as well as Himself, and you must always be able to remind Him of this if He slips up.

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 5:10:28 AM

Kasia

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From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's similar to knowing you've found the right husband.

Hmmmm. I thought I found a right husband and he turned out to be wrong one. Now I think again I found a perfect one. Time will show.......

< Message edited by Kasia -- 11/2/2005 5:11:08 AM >

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 5:34:32 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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The flip side is: How does a Master know when he has the right slave or sub?

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Kasia)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 7:11:14 AM

candystripper

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Well IronBear Sir; can You advise us? i know i'd be very grateful for the information.

candystripper

(in reply to IronBear)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 9:28:45 AM

nelbot

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Joined: 9/6/2005
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Iron bear: it is a two way street while the Master is evaluating the sub's fitness and willingness to serve him as he requires she is in turn asking questions, seeking to know him and understand his vision of her submission and evaluating if he is worthy and fit to Master her. Everyone else: Let's not kid ourselves, folks a M/s or D/s relationship will fail as surely as any vanilla relationship if the people are led by their hormones and do not undertake to ask the tough questions before hand. Find a Master is very much like find a sucessful vanilla relationship (marriage or otherwise) and simply must be built out of the same building blocks that lead to fulfillment for both parties and a successful relationship of anytype, BDSM, vanilla, Master slave or clown and porcupine, we are all still human (except the porcupine) and still have to be realistic about that for it to work.

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In life there are no winners, only saints and sinners
of pleasure and pain both have their gain for
what is a devil but an angel in bondage?

(in reply to candystripper)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 10:33:18 AM

Kasia

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It all sounds very nice and smart here but let me tell you my experience from 17 years long marriage that ended in disaster - people change.

Something that doesnt bother you at the age of 20 (you may find it interesting or insignificant or even cute), may indeed bother you when you reach 35.
The life is not the same when you are happy go around college student and when you work from 6-6 on very responsible job.
It makes all the difference in the world do you live with 2 "fury 4-legged kids" or do you live with (and raise) 2 girls in puberty.

Sometimes we live together and grow together, sometimes one of us stays the same and another changes, sometimes we both change but to become incompatible. Finding you "perfect match" is no guarantee it will stay perfect match 20 years from now.

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Kassia

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 10:40:39 AM

KatyLied

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From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

Finding you "perfect match" is no guarantee it will stay perfect match 20 years from now.

True. And about the "perfect match", I wonder why people think they must be perfectly compatible. I think that would be boring. It's more fun with someone who can push your boundaries, has some different likes, and can show you new things, can help you grow.

(in reply to Kasia)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 10:57:42 AM

littleone35

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If he makes you happy and fufilled and respects any limits you may have then i think you may have found the right one.

littleone

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 2:55:24 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nelbot

Iron bear: it is a two way street while the Master is evaluating the sub's fitness and willingness to serve him as he requires she is in turn asking questions, seeking to know him and understand his vision of her submission and evaluating if he is worthy and fit to Master her. Everyone else: Let's not kid ourselves, folks a M/s or D/s relationship will fail as surely as any vanilla relationship if the people are led by their hormones and do not undertake to ask the tough questions before hand. Find a Master is very much like find a sucessful vanilla relationship (marriage or otherwise) and simply must be built out of the same building blocks that lead to fulfillment for both parties and a successful relationship of anytype, BDSM, vanilla, Master slave or clown and porcupine, we are all still human (except the porcupine) and still have to be realistic about that for it to work.

Exactly. Unless you both satisfy each others requirements, I feel it is little point in going further. Frankly I'd rather hever have another personal collar filled that to collar the wrong person. But then, I'd rather live isolated from society if it became so restrictive and anally retentive that to live in it you had to conform with church and state.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to nelbot)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 4:01:27 PM

sweetpettjenny

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you just feel that it is right

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/2/2005 5:35:18 PM

Delvin

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
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Find the right Master...

Well, ask... anything....everything...Discuss all the ideals inside you, your beliefs, yours goals, yours morals your dreams and desires....

Most importantly....and there is another thread somewhere about how long to wait....

TIME

It takes time to go over these details, to talk, and talk some more and talk some more. Too many people simply rush right in and then find out this isn't what they wanted.

Believe in yourself, your feelings and what you see yourself as and living each day with that, then from there, finding someone isn't AS hard.

Best of luck in your search

D

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/21/2005 9:10:09 AM

MastersBabieGirl

Posts: 63
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: courtice ontario
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when you click and talk for hours
but feels like minutes is a clue
but takes time to know if they are the right one for you
ive seen people jump into things thinking it was the right set up only weeks later finding out its not
all relationships are the same for knowing who is the right one for you
you feel it you just know it is

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrskitty2004

I need to find out how can someone please tell me how i can find the RIGHT MASTER,there are some ou there thast doens't know how ot be a real MASTER,Thast what iam looking for,In ARKANSAS area,I hope someone out there can help me with this.

_____________________________

owned and obeying my Master at all times

(in reply to mrskitty2004)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/21/2005 11:37:20 AM

MasterRobert1

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Joined: 7/18/2005
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The right Master is the other half of you, the missing half. He completes you. The things you want, want done to you, et cetera, he wants to do those things. He gives form and guidance to your submission. He makes you a better submissive.

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/23/2005 2:35:32 AM

fwnick

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/16/2005
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I agree the tough questions must me asked. Very soon in the relationship.
Not just what you like and how you like it. The why you like it and the way it makes you feel is important for a M/D to know what is best.

(in reply to MasterRobert1)

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RE: how can you tell if you have the right MASTER - 11/23/2005 4:01:33 AM

incorrigible

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Joined: 11/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mrskitty2004

I need to find out how can someone please tell me how i can find the RIGHT MASTER,there are some ou there thast doens't know how ot be a real MASTER,Thast what iam looking for,In ARKANSAS area,I hope someone out there can help me with this.

First rule out all the wrong ones.

(in reply to mrskitty2004)

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