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Curious - 11/2/2005 9:29:54 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		A profile just popped up in front of me when I signed on this morning in which a *submissive* male was looking for his perfect Domina. Yet again, he had been released after three years of service as a result of her job transfer and alas.. could not follow for whatever reason. He proceeded to list the multitude of reasons that no Domina was good enough for him, to old, to fat, to emotionally unstable blah blah blah.. how people who are all those negative things are drawn to BDSM because some previe man in need of his kink fix will settle for this wholey unattractive female in order to get h is rocks off.

I suppose firstly I am curious about the number of subs that are released after three years of service a a result of job transfer.. it seems to me to be a common story. I am curious is it a story created to make the boy seem more experienced and therefore more attractive???

Secondly, I am curious about this settling idea. I personally havent found the community to reflect in general a more or less attractive ratio then the general population. But this again is a common enough story I wonder about its verasity.

I suppose I believe the myth that honest participants in this community so keenly aware of there sexual identities looked deeper than merely superfical skins of our partners. Some of the most beautiful scenes I have ever seen have been with people of different ages, body types and general levels of attractiveness but in their personal states of Dominance and submission beauty was one of the words used to describe them.

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 11/2/2005 9:31:05 AM >

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 10:39:34 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		Is this "looks versus personality" issue again?
What can I say - short and skinny men give me creeps however "deeper than merely superfical" I may claim to be.

Guilty.


_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
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RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 10:52:11 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

Is this "looks versus personality" issue again?
What can I say - short and skinny men give me creeps however "deeper than merely superfical" I may claim to be.

Guilty.



Kasia, I'm just gonna follow behind your posts here, so all I'll have to type is....DITTO!

K

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 11:03:23 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan
Kasia, I'm just gonna follow behind your posts here, so all I'll have to type is....DITTO!

K

By all means, dear, I love followers (as long as you dont do it to gauge the size of my behind)

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 11:15:18 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		I may just be rather suspicious... but three seems to be the magical number.

I've had a number of submissives with the same sort of story... She moved... she took another job... she died... all after three years.

I've got a theory that some, perhaps quite a few, of these stories are just that... stories to give the impression that they have been in the service of someone, that they have (and are able to) commit to someone and that they dearly enjoy being in service to someone (and would like to soon hook up with a "replacement").

Maybe I'm just a smidge paranoid though.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 11:40:38 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		We've been sharing stories on a list about the high mortality rate among dominas......... so many of us die under tragic circumstances, or else move to some other part of the country or world!

Truly, people do die tragically, or move. I have spoken to boys who have moved here, and then to their dommes as a reference. Still, I would never recommend going into the sob story in a profile. One local sad sack has a pic of him and (presumably) his dead flame, and a little memorial to her in his profile! What woman can compete with that?

F

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 11:43:48 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

We've been sharing stories on a list about the high mortality rate among dominas......... so many of us die under tragic circumstances, or else move to some other part of the country or world!


Omg! So disturbing and yet so hilarious! What some people will do...

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 1:23:02 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

I may just be rather suspicious... but three seems to be the magical number.

I've had a number of submissives with the same sort of story... She moved... she took another job... she died... all after three years.

I've got a theory that some, perhaps quite a few, of these stories are just that... stories to give the impression that they have been in the service of someone, that they have (and are able to) commit to someone and that they dearly enjoy being in service to someone (and would like to soon hook up with a "replacement").

Maybe I'm just a smidge paranoid though.




I've heard similar stories from more than two handfuls of males. For me it was that magical number of the 3. 3 being the third time I heard the violenish tales that lead me to believe my suspicious of chatting with Pinocios (spell check on that name) were warranted.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 1:46:28 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I may just be rather suspicious... but three seems to be the magical number.

I've had a number of submissives with the same sort of story... She moved... she took another job... she died... all after three years.


I think that we've all heard the one about taking the number of lovers a man claims to have had divide by 3 and you're closer to reality. I find that this number repeats itself with men quite a bit especially when fibbing about experience or size.

In otherwords released due to job transfer for me interprets as new in town, with no experience and want a lil on the kinky side. Maybe it's just me though.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 2:25:32 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

We've been sharing stories on a list about the high mortality rate among dominas......... so many of us die under tragic circumstances, or else move to some other part of the country or world!
I actually have heard this far too frequently and wonder WTF? I even discussed it with a friend on chat asking what is up with the common "she moved away/she died story", and the response was I guess I would believe it because I haven't seen it often; I on the other hand have seen it too many times to believe it.

I just wonder why any person thinks that "she simply dropped my ass like hot potato, and moved accross the country never to be found again" seems like a plausible excuse for his being single again especially since it makes him look like such a big stalking loser, that she'd want to leave him for no good reason, and permanently disappear, but that is just MHO.
quote:

Sylverdawn
Secondly, I am curious about this settling idea. I personally havent found the community to reflect in general a more or less attractive ratio then the general population.
As for settling, I think a good number of men come into lifestyle with the ideal of finding the leather clad lady wielding a whip they've seen in the movies, and are shocked to find real world women who for the most part are not dressed up in leather/latex and stilletos 24/7, and require real life communication/relationship skills... Than the bitterness and bitching ensues... M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 3:31:52 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Man that really annoys that people make that stuff up my Master really did die May 11 2003. People shoud really tell the truth. It is an ideal at least.

littleone

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Curious - 11/2/2005 4:29:30 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I, too, have had many the sad story of "single again" because My Domina was transferred, moved, died. And, now that it's been mentioned, three does seem to be a popular number.
I always ask the boy why he didn't move with his Domina. After all, especially as a slave, he is supposed to be dedicated to Her. I either get no answer at all, or the vague, "job, family" or "She could not provide for Me as She was entering a new situation" (i.e. marriage). Of course, these Dominas are nowhere to be found when it comes to references. I understand I would have a hard time speaking with one who "died", but there does seem to be an awful lot of that going around. Don't ya think?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Curious - 11/3/2005 4:13:25 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

Is this "looks versus personality" issue again?
What can I say - short and skinny men give me creeps however "deeper than merely superfical" I may claim to be.

Guilty.



No I dont think its alooks vs personality thing.. pretty is as pretty does. Its the idea that we settle in order to get our kinks met.. especially male submissives settle because only a fat, old, mentally unstable women would truly be willing to debase herself by doing..XYZ...


_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Curious - 11/3/2005 4:34:38 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

No I dont think its alooks vs personality thing.. pretty is as pretty does. Its the idea that we settle in order to get our kinks met.. especially male submissives settle because only a fat, old, mentally unstable women would truly be willing to debase herself by doing..XYZ...



Sounds like he's just bitter because he can't get what he wants, despite claiming that he has experience.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Curious - 11/3/2005 5:41:07 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn
Its the idea that we settle in order to get our kinks met.. especially male submissives settle because only a fat, old, mentally unstable women would truly be willing to debase herself by doing..XYZ...


And you don't think the fat, old, mentally unstable women "settle?" And the fat, old, mentally, unstable men?

I feel that if someone doesn't have the confidence in themselves, to seek out and find what they truly desire AND deserve for themselves, then they probably "settle"...and then they get exactly what they want anyway. We all have choices!

Anyone that "settles," gets what they deserve, IMO.

K

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Curious - 11/3/2005 8:18:12 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I dont think I stated that I believe anyone settles on anything.. it was just a response to an observation made by another poster.

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Curious - 11/3/2005 11:14:02 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I think a good number of men come into lifestyle with the ideal of finding the leather clad lady wielding a whip they've seen in the movies, and are shocked to find real world women who for the most part are not dressed up in leather/latex and stilletos 24/7,


Have to agree there & just to prove that point the first time I played with my new toy I was in a t shirt saying "I've decided that I'm in charge" & flannel pj bottoms. He's since developed a fascination with flannel...he he no idea why.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Curious - 12/31/2005 1:22:09 PM   
YveGee


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/5/2004
From: Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex
Status: offline 		I'm surprised to find so many Dominas still in the US. I thought they'd all moved or been transferred to Germany! That's what's happened to the Dommes of all the subs who have contacted me.

What is happening in Germany to cause this migration and why wasn't I invited?
<sob>

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If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --author unknown



(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 18
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