RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Faramir -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 7:30:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel


I also don't necessarily equate objectification with humiliation. I think that they can be totally opposite at times. Objectification can be used in a immensly positive way, as well as humiliating (which is also positive if thats your bag, but I think you get what I am saying).

Peace and Love


Behind you comment is a model where humiliation isn't about humility, about being made humble, literally low to the ground. You're using humiliate in a viscious or cruel sense solely - hence your "negative" comment.

Yes, humiliation play can be cruel and sadistic, but humiliation play can also not be about crusing someone "low to the ground," but rather helping them get humbled in a way that has no mark of cruelty. Objectification is a subset of humiliation play, because objectification is about humility and being humbled, being a thing and not a person - it doesn't have to be done cruelly or visciously though.

I think that is why you are sticking in a mental divide.



hawk58 -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 7:33:25 AM)

I have been objectified in several ways. As puppy, foot rest,stool, table, coat/hat rack, work horse (not pony play- an actual person who was worked hard, doing lan and tree work 12- 14 hrs a day) I have served as a hole, cleaning lady, chaufer, living doll, etc....

Basically, personal identity stripped, and only used for a sole purpose, for function, without name, or feelings.

As a slave, it is not about whether i enjoy it or not, its about whether or not i OBEY. Did i enjoy it htough? In some instances both past and present, yes. As a slave, i enjoy being useful to my owner, in either being able to serve Him in the capicity of slave/servant, or as furniture, or any othe ruse He has for me. My pleasure comes in service to Him. Is it my kink? Do i get off on it- depends upon the situation. Whether playing, punishment, or service.

-dove



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 7:56:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

As most of the others have said, this is so obviously a desire common to subs of both sexes, that I wonder why you would think women don't usually "enjoy" this?

It would be interesting to see exactly what makes you think this. For an objective view of women being used as objects, you can physically view it at public events...sub women as art objects, etc. So again do you think it is possible that you just happened to come across a few women subs that skewed your perception?

An interesting topic in any case and I enjoy reading the comments of others on their experiences with this.


The reason why I thought that women did not enjoy this type of play is because I had never met one besides myself, and I had spoken to a prominent figure in the scene who had echoed my thoughts. I had, I guess up until this point, never met a woman who enjoyed objectification play in the same way that I did...or for the same reasons. The women whom I had spoken to had thought that it was an uncomfortable position to be in, for various reasons.

That's why I asked.



darkinshadows -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 8:33:13 AM)

Oh, I completely agree - I do understand humiliation Re:humility... I just associate it differently. I can only place over the interpretation that I have been taught and I think its a very British thing to differentiate between humility and humiliation. I know it tends to be different in the US(or at least with americans I have spoken and experimented with. I agree that objectification and humiliation can combine together... and in the majority of cases... but it isnt for everyone and some people use neither humiliation nor humility when experimenting in objectification, especially in animate objectification.

Peace and Love



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 8:34:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
The reason why I thought that women did not enjoy this type of play is because I had never met one besides myself, and I had spoken to a prominent figure in the scene who had echoed my thoughts. I had, I guess up until this point, never met a woman who enjoyed objectification play in the same way that I did...or for the same reasons. The women whom I had spoken to had thought that it was an uncomfortable position to be in, for various reasons.

That's why I asked.

It's not commonly explored in the local dungeons in overt ways. But trust me, we're out there.



theRose4U -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 9:58:42 AM)

quote:

So, i am not certain if i would not crack again if i were used as an object. I know what it feels like to not exist as a person to another....and i am afraid that emotionally this type of play is beyond me. I need to always know that my partner knows i am present. Intellectually i do realize that objectification is not the same as being ignored, however, it is too similar for me even to think of agreeing to do. One of my hard limits is to never have being ignored used as a punishment ever again.


I'm totally with you there. Just a personal FYI...to me objectification specifically being/ having furnature can be very relaxing. It gives you a purpose but also the silence (not being ignored) that in a busy life can be hard to find. Being at peace sitting silently when you are both mentally and physically in the same place to me adds to the bonding and physical service aspects of the relationship. Though unlike many I tend to foot rub my man stool or caress my rocking chair where arms fall.

Edited to add: What purpose is there for someone to have a punishment that lasts for months on end> Am I the only one that thinks that problem should be addressed, punishment should be dispensed & then you move on?



BlackRobe -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 10:13:11 AM)

That's probably part of why you, Kitten, weren't seeing too many examples overtly. Like general D & S Hum Play and Objectification are usually very personal forms of BDSM that do not translate well at parties and public dungeons. Here in Minnesota, I almost never see others at play parties doing a real D & S scene or Humiliation or Objectification scene.

But I know they do so whenever I am invited around their houses privately. And I know they do so also because me and mine do so, and I know I am not "that" strange. Also, to echo a previous comment, probably a lot of subs who like it do not speak up about it because there is kind of a greater taboo about it than many other practices. I can't say that I have ever been at a munch or party where the subs were grumbling to each other about not getting enough Hum Play or Objectification scenes. Usually they just grumble about not being collared yet; fickle subbies.


However I do have one sub friend who is really into Puppy. She's comes up, "Take a look at my new puppy knee pads", "See my puppy collar", "I got a new puppy toy"......Hmmmm. Let me guess what you want to do. I mention this because I notice that a couple of the posts have lumped Animal Training in with the Hum Play and Objectification Scene categories.

Anyway. This is what I was talking about before. Now this board is on fire with submissive women sharing their experiences. Can't you just feel the love. "And its a good thing."



darkinshadows -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 12:31:08 PM)

quote:

Anyway. This is what I was talking about before. Now this board is on fire with submissive women sharing their experiences. Can't you just feel the love. "And its a good thing."


Yup - we are all very luverble...[;)]

Peace and Love



HerJewel -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/3/2005 1:20:46 PM)

I love it, myself. I've always tried to be/do what others have needed, how much more so do I love to be and do whatever my woman wants or needs. I love providing for her, and I love every inch of her, so holding her, providing rest or cushioning, or something to use to make herself quiver and make those lovely little noises upon, is a natural delight of mine.



Humfur -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 9:27:31 AM)

Objectification (in the "furniture" sense) is my greatest fantasy. I joined collarme a few weeks ago for the express purpose of finding females who would enjoy using me as their footstool, seat cushion or carpet (a cross-reference with the "trampling" fetish). I have actually fantasized about this all my life, but hardly ever experienced it.

It seems that very few, if any, dominant females are interested in this. I'm not sure why - perhaps someone would care to enlighten me. From my point of view it is the ultimate submission and humiliation - to be not only socially and intellectually, but also physically beneath a female. To lie under her feet or buttocks, knowing that she can crush and degrade her sub whislt expending almost no effort whatsoever.

Perhaps it is the very lack of action that turns most females off. Certainly, the use of subs as mere furniture is predominantly a psychological form of dominantion.



MistressJenna -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 2:49:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

So, my question: As a woman, do you see objectification as sexually arousing, as curious, or as just plain unpleasant? If you like it, why do you like it? If you don't like it, why is it?



For both Me & My sub (who is female)we both find it arousing. There has been many times where she get's on all fours in front of me and I use her as a table. If she causes something to drop than she is punished. Of course I like to tease her with a vibe sometimes to add to the scene. I've also used her as a bench when we were at a fetish party. There was no seats so I used her. She enjoyed it so much that she volunteers to be a seat/bench when we're at these parties. I do agree with you that it seems mostly men enjoy this. This is the first female sub I've had that enjoys this part of the lifestyle.



glassdoll -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 3:22:33 PM)

as a woman i see this nonsense jargain about the feminist movement ruining family structure appauling and begin to wonder why every thread i'm reading has to mention it?



ErosPsyche -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 5:47:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: glassdoll

as a woman i see this nonsense jargain about the feminist movement ruining family structure appauling and begin to wonder why every thread i'm reading has to mention it?


Again, in English?



luvdragonx -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 7:27:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: glassdoll

as a woman i see this nonsense jargain about the feminist movement ruining family structure appauling and begin to wonder why every thread i'm reading has to mention it?


I don't think it's nonsense, necessarily - KWT has started more than one thread with a topic that involves feminism and BDSM that produced some really good discussion. It's a subject she's clearly given a lot of thought to, and I'm sure there are many women AND men who find the connection between the two valid.

I personally like the idea of objectification, but the actual practice of it is a ~good~ struggle for me. I believe this is partly due to the "feminist" idea of objectifying women being a bad thing. I was raised to think independently and demand that I be treated as more than just a 'something' - be it a nice pair of tits, a hole to fuck, a trophy girl - whatever. Of course I was also around to hear the disparaging remarks about the girl who just let guys 'use' her. She was, unaffectionately, called a slut, whore, skank....choose your term. Good girls would NEVER be like that. A strong woman would NEVER be like that. A strong woman had to be a ball-busting, ass-kicking beeyatch, and if she wasn't, her priorities must have been wrong.

When you are bombarded with messages like that - nevermind the ones that insist women disassociate from their sexuality to be effective (or a 'better woman') - you can become confused about a lot of things, one thing being objectification in BDSM.

Of course at the core of feminism is the right to equal treatment and the right to make your own choice. But, like so many other good ideas, it got twisted along the way and now feminism is almost a bad word.



Misstoyou -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 8:44:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvdragonx

quote:

ORIGINAL: glassdoll

as a woman i see this nonsense jargain about the feminist movement ruining family structure appauling and begin to wonder why every thread i'm reading has to mention it?


A strong woman had to be a ball-busting, ass-kicking beeyatch, and if she wasn't, her priorities must have been wrong.



Oh I don't know...I kinda like the feminist validation-as-women of those of us who actually *are* the above, [:)] instead of society constantly telling us that we're not, gasp, "feminine." And I don't think submissive men get the credit, either, for the *balls* it takes to go against male social conditioning as well.



luvdragonx -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 9:21:35 PM)

Hey, if it's good to ya, it must be good for ya [:D]

I completely agree that there is a paradox in femininity vs feminism. If you're too soft, you're a wimp/doormat/repressed/etc. If you're too hard, you're a b*tch/man-hater/lesbian(eye-roll)/etc. Somebody else is always going to see something wrong with what you're doing no matter what.

I'm all for being the person you want to be. Be the person that makes you feel best. Whether it's kicking ass, rolling over, or BOTH, what matters is that it's fulfulling to you. And unfortunately, that sentiment can get lost in the Right/Wrong debate.



wipmebeetme100 -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/6/2005 9:22:55 PM)

quote:

So, my question: As a woman, do you see objectification as sexually arousing, as curious, or as just plain unpleasant? If you like it, why do you like it? If you don't like it, why is it?


I am an active participant in both humiliation and objectification. I find them both to be very sexually arousing. For me it is almost like an escape. At work my job constantly has me at the fore front of things, organizing, facilitating, etc. My work with different lifestyle groups and committees provides the same. Objectification (especially at a play party) allows me to be there and not be there at the same time. Aside from providing the service that as an object i am required to provide...i have no other responsibilities, nothing is required of me. Being used as an object provides me with plenty of attention without reciprocation on my part. What more could someone ask for?
Humiliation is my first love...i can't think of anything that turns me on more. There is so much that can be done, so many different headspaces that it brings you to. Had someone told me 5 years ago that i would be doing the things that i have been doing i would have laughed at them and asked them what they were smoking. This has since become such an important part of my life, fulfilling a need, providing the most intense erotic experiences that anyone could ask for.
So, do i like it, you ask? Not only YES, but HELL YES!!



Wildfleurs -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/7/2005 4:34:07 AM)

For me I differentiate between humiliation and objectification and most of what you described is objectification. Personally I enjoy objectification quite a bit in the form of being used as a piece of furniture and even though I've done less of the being used or one part of the body - that sort of thing as well (though I have to say being useful as a labor mule isn't objectification to me, but rather being of use/service). I find being a piece of furniture fairly relaxing and zen like, and it serves an obvious helpful purpose so I really enjoy it from that angle.

It never occured to me that there was a clash between that and feminism, then again it never occured to me that there was a clash between feminism and submission.

C~

quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
So, my question: As a woman, do you see objectification as sexually arousing, as curious, or as just plain unpleasant? If you like it, why do you like it? If you don't like it, why is it?

To be absolutely clear: I don't mean humiliation in the sense of being called "taboo" names like whore, slut, bitch, wench, or etc. I also do not mean humiliation in the sense of being dragged around naked in public, or anything that is "naughty" but exciting. I mean humiliation and objectification in the sense of being used without regard to you as a person, whether that involves being used as an object of furniture, or as a glory hole, or as a labor mule..., or what-have-you.



kinkylvcouple -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Objectification (11/29/2005 2:57:18 PM)

I agree, this is something I have liked since i was young, but dont know why it is not known about in the bdsm community. My girlfriend and I are still looking for other females to join her and use me as their furniture, but it is hard. Good luck to you, Rich



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125