RE: Procuring

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CalifChick -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 4:58:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght Easy because when people have some anonimity on the internet they don't feel they need to know someone to pass judgement. That's just how it is on the net any more some do this some don't. Sure feels like there's more who do it though than those who don't. I went back to see who was casting judgment (because I thought people were giving their own views of the practice of procurement), and I found it to be... you??? quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others. They should do it themselves. Yeah, color me confused. Cali

ownedgirlie -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:04:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I find it interesting that people are lumping threesomes and the like with the OP's post. She is on the other side of the world at the moment, so this is not a threesome situation. And it sounds like she may never meet many of these procurements. Does that change anybody's ideas? Cali Not at all. After working the concerns out, they seem to enjoy the way this works for them, so why should any of us give a damn what their logistics are? Softness has always made it clear she loves being meat, and if that's what they enjoy together, then I think they should do as much of it as they can. I actually find it really unfortunate that whenever someone posts something that "the bdsm moral majority" doesn't like/agree with/do/approve of, the masses seem to all chime in with negative assumptions: 1. A Master using his slave to procure other sex must not be able to get it on his own. 2. A Master who controls who his slave can and can not communicate with must be totally insecure. 3. A Master who sets up bathroom or eating or sleeping schedules (et. al.) for his slave must be a control-freak-micro-manager. 4. A Master who lives in a different country/state/county/city/block from his slave can't really master her. And so on, and so on....(I used the male version of Master since that is what I relate to, but I understand it can go either way). Nobody ever seems to conclude that hey, this must be really cool for them to be able to relate to each other and express themselves so freely in this unique way. Why all the hostility toward activies that are "different" than our own? Why the assumptions and insults? (These questions aren't to you directly, Cali, but in general). I dunno...I just don't get it. And softness, I give you credit for holding yourself with grace and class throughout all these pages of...well...I don't even know what to call it. As for me, I have not had to procure for my Master, but if I ever did, it would be because he wants me to experience the humility and degradation of it. And if that's what he wants me to experience, then that's what I'll be doing.

Midnght -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:05:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght Easy because when people have some anonimity on the internet they don't feel they need to know someone to pass judgement. That's just how it is on the net any more some do this some don't. Sure feels like there's more who do it though than those who don't. I went back to see who was casting judgment (because I thought people were giving their own views of the practice of procurement), and I found it to be... you??? quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght Personally I find it appauling that any Top would use their submissive to procur others. They should do it themselves. Yeah, color me confused. Cali That's not a judgement on her relationship. Note I said "I find it appauling". That's my thoughts my opinion. I didn't say she should not do it. Nor did I say, "oh my god your that type of person you should be stoned" or some such now did I? Opinions were asked for I gave mine there was no more need to elaborate. Though I notice you still haven't stated your opinion directly yet in all of your posts. }:>)

softness -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:05:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako This thread makes me wonder how many STDs are floating around this lifestyle...yuck. I would not procure for anyone and I would not as someone to do it for me. Plain and simple. and reading your post makes me wonder how many people still need to learn the difference between multiple partners ... and unprotected sex its called protection hun ... most sensible people use it .. and I only fuck sensible people (and as I am now His madam ,,, so does Sir)

Usako -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:07:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness quote: ORIGINAL: Usako This thread makes me wonder how many STDs are floating around this lifestyle...yuck. I would not procure for anyone and I would not as someone to do it for me. Plain and simple. and reading your post makes me wonder how many people still need to learn the difference between multiple partners ... and unprotected sex its called protection hun ... most sensible people use it .. and I only fuck sensible people (and as I am now His madam ,,, so does Sir) What's your point? Protection is not 100%. People still get STDs and pregnant while using protection. Slapping a lil rubber over a penis helps, but there's always a risk.

agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:09:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissIsis Is anyone else missing the whole point of why a dominant is "allowing his submissive" to procure "meat" for his bed? Are people really so blind? The whole reason for allowing or requiring his submissive to do this, is because he thinks it will be easier for the submissive to accept him having other meat, if he makes her think she has a say in it, or a part in making it happen for him. Has anyone ever seen what a dominant has to go through when he decides one woman isn't enough for him & wants to play with more than one? He already has a good submissive, who pleases him. He doesn't want to risk losing her. He doesn't want to have to deal with the jealousy. He has a dilema if he wants to have his cake & eat it too. He can easily decide to hide it from his submissive, but if he lies about it, or lies by omission & she finds out, then he has to deal with the lack of trust he established with her. So long as his submissive picks his the meat for his bed, if she shows any kind of jealousy, or talks about it with him, he can always turn the issue back on her & say that he was so honorable that he allowed her to pick the woman & that since she picked her, any blame for jealousy issues are on her (his submissive's) shoulders. I suppose the submissive could be brainwashed to think it is honorable for her to pick his meat for him, but seriously, it is just his way of making his life easier, so he can have his own way, having his cake & eating it to, so to speak. Please give me a break. Often, the submissive will have a strong bond with her Master, & will not do anything that will risk that relationship. She will go along with, & believe anything he tells her, so long as he convinces her, that what she does is unselfish & that whatever she does for him is for the good of the relationship. And by the way, most women do not want to go out & have sex with a guy just because other women tell them how great it is with them. I think many of us would just as soon pass. I so agree with what you've posted here. Hopefully, it'll go well for the OP and her D-type. But if it goes sour... How could she complain? She has no right to be jealous or insecure if she hand selected the woman. Blah Blah Blah....i can just hear the D-type bashing her with those types of comments now.

softness -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:11:12 PM)
protection does not begin and end with a condom testing, retesting, checking, keeping clean, not fluid bonding, testing again, taking a sexual health history, using a combination of protective measures this is all protection

CalifChick -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:11:59 PM)
Okay, so the hate mail will stop or at least slow down... the distance thing was to say that at this moment, it is not a threesome situation, while others are addressing it as if it is. It was not a slam on their relationship. Cali

camille65 -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:12:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie And softness, I give you credit for holding yourself with grace and class throughout all these pages of...well...I don't even know what to call it. I agree. I know I couldn't have done it. I see this like so many other threads have gone before, a domino effect. Once the first tile falls a whole bunch more come along after it. As far as procurment goes it is not for me but I have no problem with the concept itself. If this hadn't gotten all weirded out I would have asked questions about the logistics because I'm curious. But.. I didn't want to put more focus on the LDR part because as I said before that very concept causes a really strong reaction here.

Midnght -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:12:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako quote: ORIGINAL: softness quote: ORIGINAL: Usako This thread makes me wonder how many STDs are floating around this lifestyle...yuck. I would not procure for anyone and I would not as someone to do it for me. Plain and simple. and reading your post makes me wonder how many people still need to learn the difference between multiple partners ... and unprotected sex its called protection hun ... most sensible people use it .. and I only fuck sensible people (and as I am now His madam ,,, so does Sir) What's your point? Protection is not 100%. People still get STDs and pregnant while using protection. Slapping a lil rubber over a penis helps, but there's always a risk. They're adults i'm sure they understand the risks involved. Why assume they don't?

softness -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:17:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agoodgirl4Daddy Blah Blah Blah....i can just hear the D-type bashing her with those types of comments now. I actually am beginning to feel pretty sorry for everyone who is making comments like these .. because they sound as if they are coming from a place of experience .. am thankful I will not have those experiences. my experience is that my Owner carries ulitmate repsonsibility not only for His own actions, but also for those actions of mine which He directed. He hgas consistently proved this to me throughout the time I have known Him both as a friend and Owner If I was to procure a woman for Him, and her involvement in our life caused the breakdown of our relationship - as long as I had always been open, frank, honest and co-operative with Him about my feelings, He would accept full responsibility for what happened ... because I had done what was expected of me, as directed by Him so you can stop hearing voices in your head ... because it just simply would not work like that

DesFIP -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:18:11 PM)
aWe're monogamous. If however std's were not an issue and neither was monogamy and this was strictly sex only, no friendship, play etc then I might be willing to call a local escort agency and ordering him a blonde for the night. On his dime at the hotel of his choice obviously. Doing it that way would make it obvious that he would have a different one each time, none of whom could be a threat. However since I know enough to be aware that 90% of sex workers have been sexually abused at a young age, I would not be able to handle him deliberately exploiting someone vulnerable and broken.

subtee -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:23:15 PM)
~FR softness, I believe you are a very intelligent, self-aware, deliberate and thoughtful (meaning "full of thinking") woman. This is why this will probably work for the two of you. I just worry for others that read it, that may be pushed to do it and who are not as well equipped. I wish you both well!

Usako -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:27:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght They're adults i'm sure they understand the risks involved. Why assume they don't? I never assumed they don't. I just said this thread in a whole makes me wonder how many STDs float around in said lifestyle. My comment had nothing to do with the OP, she just took it as such. shrug

ownedgirlie -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:32:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako I never assumed they don't. I just said this thread in a whole makes me wonder how many STDs float around in said lifestyle. My comment had nothing to do with the OP, she just took it as such. shrug I think the stats are probably the same if not similar to how many STDs are floating around non-"lifestyle" folks. People still have one night stands or lots of back to back partners, spouses who cheat on spouses (isn't that at about a 50% rate these days?), etc. Any way you want to cut it, people fuck. Fucking comes with a risk. Protection cuts down on the risk. Lots of things come with risk. Walking across the street comes with a risk. That's why we use crosswalks. Driving a car comes with a risk. That's why we have airbags and wear seatbelts. And so on. Responsible people assess their risks and make decisions based on that. Can't ask for much more than that.

softness -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:37:47 PM)
Thank you to those people who have posted , it is much appreciated. My intention was to see what people thought of procuring ... and what I have seen is that people see something that wouldn;t work for them and therefore decide that either it cannot work for anybody .. or anybody it can work for must be broken, dysfuntional or down trodden in some way. I was warned a long while ago that the lifestyle I wanted for msyelf, and was planning of being fairly ruthless about creating, would make me unpopular because it would hold a mirror up to other people. I didn't really get that until today.

softness -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:42:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Usako quote: ORIGINAL: Midnght They're adults i'm sure they understand the risks involved. Why assume they don't? I never assumed they don't. I just said this thread in a whole makes me wonder how many STDs float around in said lifestyle. My comment had nothing to do with the OP, she just took it as such. shrug you made a statment about the rampant STD 's in the lifestyle on a thread about procurement I was supposed to assume they were unrelated statements that just happened to randomly bump into eachother in this thread? that they shares space on a post somewhat indicated they share space in your brain, that the thoughts were similar and connected. I didn't take the post personally ... but i did take it to man that you see a connection between STDs and procuring for your partner ... and saw that connection as pure unmitagated silliness

Stephann -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:46:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 Simple. I don't like ironing my shirts or doing my laundry. When it comes to pussy, the hunt is part of the pleasure. Unless one happens to be a lousy hunter, in which case outsourcing makes sense. While I have my own issues with the topic, even the most avid hunters I've known still enjoy having their wives bring home a steak from the butcher shop. Again, I think there's a strong distinction between "get me a girl for tonight because I can't get one" and "get me a girl for tonight, because I'm too busy to do it myself." Or, as charlotte's pointed out earlier, "get me a girl for tonight, so that you learn that you're not my girlfriend, you're my slave, and that your duty is to please me first; not yourself. Stephan

agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:46:59 PM)
i'm wondering how one procures women for a D-type who lives in another country? Does one send them off on an airplane from their country with cab fare to his office in another country far far away? Or does one use kink sites (like this one) to send out emails to women who live in his area, telling them what a lovely person this D-type is (regardless of whether the two had actually met and spent quality time together in real time) and how lucky they'd be to have him roll 'er around in the sheets? and ummm..i'd wonder why a D-type couldn't find a suitable s-type in his own country. shrugs but that's just me.

Usako -> RE: Procuring (6/17/2008 5:49:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness you made a statment about the rampant STD 's in the lifestyle on a thread about procurement I was supposed to assume they were unrelated statements that just happened to randomly bump into eachother in this thread? that they shares space on a post somewhat indicated they share space in your brain, that the thoughts were similar and connected. I didn't take the post personally ... but i did take it to man that you see a connection between STDs and procuring for your partner ... and saw that connection as pure unmitagated silliness I fail to see it as silly. There is no 100% protection from STDs (other than not having sex) and no matter how much protection or paperwork people have when ya fuck a lot of people the risk goes up. You're "procuring" a cheap fuck for a man. All well and good and whatever floats your boat. But you could just as easilly be procuring crabs or herpes and to think everything is 100% safe is silly. Do whatever ya want, people do it all the time. But as long as sex is involved the risk of STDs is also involved. This thread just makes me wonder about things other than sex. quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint Of course I'd procure for him if that is what he wanted. However, I'd have to be very honest with the women I'd find for him. I'd have to explain how many sexual partners he'd had in the past several years. I'd have to explain how each and every sexual encounter means that his chances of having picked up an STD has increased. I'd have to explain how some STDs do not have symptoms and some are not detected by blood tests. I'd have to tell her of any instances I know of when a condom broke or was not used. Of course I would not let out the praise of him. I'd explain that he was a very experienced and versitile lover. I'd also make them realize that the offer was short term as he liked variety and I was the only contant in this life. Actually it was that post that made me wonder and then look at the other responses in this thread in a different light. No one seemed to notice it or just skimmed over it.

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