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Msfrauline -> Newbie Mistress (11/3/2005 12:06:34 AM)

Hello:

I am new to the scene as a "lifestyle" and I am seeking an experienced Mistress/Domme who is willing to chat with me about different ways I can take control of my marriage now that I have decided to embrace my husbands submissiveness and my aparent dominant ways. He keeps begging me to take control and I honestly for the most part tease and torment him but what and how do you "take control" of someone.

Thanks to all.

MsFrauline



MstrssPassion -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/3/2005 4:38:32 AM)

You are in a good place to receive that information. The diverse personalities of the posters on this board will provide you a plethora of ideas to enhance your exchange with your husband.

I would be happy to talk with you via email exchange & I am sure many others will tell you the same.

Might I suggest as a first step, you & your husband sit down & come up with a list of limits & expectations. What do you want from this relationship. He can't cop-out & just say 'you take control'. Establish your communication now as it will be essential to the relationship being a success.



Msfrauline -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/3/2005 10:38:22 PM)

Thanks for gettging back to me. I have received some very supportive comments from several Mistresses on line. Most of whome seem to agree with me that I don't have to enjoy this scene the same way he does to prove that it is something I am interested in. He seems to think that since I don't get sopping wet with excitement that I am not interested and that I am just doing this to make him happy. Many of the women I have talked to here have told me that I don't have to get the same thing out of it that he does.

Can you recommend a Mistress that would be good to chat with?

Thanks,

Ms, Frauline.




chgodomcouple -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 4:34:14 AM)

communication is the key in any relationship



DrkAngl -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 10:27:12 AM)

quote:

and I honestly for the most part tease and torment him but what and how


This is your chance to get the kind of attention from you husband that you've wanted or was missing. :) Make a list of what you'd like to see happen at the house, behavior changes, ect. If it's you taking control he wants, sounds like you've got an opportunity to do some things you've always wanted. :)

I agree that you and your husband should sit down and talk limits and what you expect out of the whole thing. :)



Janon -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 11:20:53 AM)

I'm fairly new too, so take what I say with a grain of salt...

I know the newbie mistake I made was letting him top me from below. He wanted to be spanked, dressed like a girl, and other kinky pleasures, where I was much more attracted to the power exchange and the expression of our roles. I did the kink thing for a while but it just didn't "do it" for me.

Then I realized--if I'm the one in charge here (by consent), I don't have to do a damn thing I don't want to or that doesn't suit my fancy. So I quit being kinky and focused on the power exchange. He was upset, we talked. A LOT. TALKED for hours about submission, dominance, desire, etc etc etc. Finally, we reached an understanding. By that I mean, he understood what I meant when I asked for submission, and he took a long look at himself to see if he wanted to submit, or if he wanted to play kinky.

Gladly, he chose submission. Now, I can put the kink in where and when I desire and I can get what I want when I want from him without worrying that I will upset him. I don't break out the toys as much as he would like, but his pleasure is in my pleasure now, and that works much better for us.

Hope that helped!
Janon



Msfrauline -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 12:31:44 PM)

Thanks for your response.
He and I talk about this all the time. Some times it seems never ending conversations. We went throught the same think..kink vs. the lifestyle. Right now I am doing a little of both at my pace. He does top me from the bottom at times but I am fine with it because I am not certain what I should be doing. It also gives me ideas.

My problem arised because I don't always want to be in control and he gets upset because I am doing the dishes or taking the trash out. I was raised to do things like that so I am not exactly certain how to appreciate someone else do it for me. It definitly doesn't turn me on knowing he is going to wash my car or do the dishes.



Msfrauline -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 12:35:51 PM)

Thanks for your response.
Honestly there really wasn't much missing from our marriage, at least from my eyes. Since the day we met four years ago he always puts me first in the bedrom and I have never gone without been completly serviced. He always climaxes after me and only if I give him the ok.

He's a great guy but I don't know if I appreciate what he has to offer becuase I honestly didn't have much experience dating other men before him. So, I don't know why what he is offering up is such a big thing. I like dominating him but it's not always if ever for sexual reasons.

He doesn't pick up his cloths or do the laundry now that I think of it.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Newbie Mistress (11/4/2005 11:55:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Msfrauline

He doesn't pick up his cloths or do the laundry now that I think of it.


LOL! Msfrauline, I am nearby, in Phoenix. Please feel free to email Me on the other side. I am close enough to just pick up a phone! Would love to talk.



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