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Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 11:57:18 AM   
Cherish1102


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all. I'm a switch, and I've been thinking lately about my motive for behaving the way I do. One specific example is this: I adore it when my boyfriend slaps me. But I cry. Why do I cry? Is it a physical reaction, or emotional? It puts me in a place where I'm nearly overwhelmed with feeling, but I know I still have a good enough grasp on myself that I shouldn't cry. So it isn't emotional, at least not on the surface. It can't be physical either though. At first I thought maybe it was just my body reacting in shock to something that (by "normal" standards) "shouldn't" happen. But that doesn't make sense either, because when we do other things that involve pain (such as knifeplay) I only react with pleasure. So why does the one action of him slapping me make me cry? I'm certainly not upset. And I'm not going into subspace at that point. Could it be a deeper emotional thing? Could it be a problem? Is it weird to experience something like that? Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, and if so, I'd like to get your opinions on it.
Thanks!
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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 12:03:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Catharsis is the term you're looking for. Being slapped is such a primal thing that it cuts through the intellect and immediately accesses emotions. Good or bad stress, it all comes out in a release of tears/

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 12:28:21 PM   
Cherish1102


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline 		But I don't ever feel any kind of real stress. Do you think it could be accesing something so deep down that I don't even realize it?

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 1:01:01 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		When I cry in a  manner similar to which you describe, which is very rare, it's just because of the deep feelings of closeness I feel.  It can be brought about from masochstic acts, or something as simple as my Owner hugging me in her sleep.  It just speaks to me on an emotional level.

DV's Fox

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 1:01:53 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		or your body could just be saying "ooo! need a release of tears, here's a great excuse to cry!"

for me, when the hormones hit just right, i cant even bear some hallmark commercials.  take the release, run with it, and dont question it.  if you're happy otherwise, dont stress about it. 

kitten

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 1:08:37 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cherish1102

But I don't ever feel any kind of real stress. Do you think it could be accesing something so deep down that I don't even realize it?


You don't have to "feel" stress for it to be there.. Stress is not always a concious thing. i have been as happy as it gets conciously during a scene, but cried my eyes out aswell for no apparent reason..

As DesFIP said, its basically a primal reaction over which none of us have any control.. Its cathartic, and its your body's way of getting a release that it needs.. Perfectly normal in every respect.


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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 1:12:29 PM   
bookworm966


Posts: 45
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes when I have a really strong orgasm, especially when I havent in a while, I cry.  It just happens.  Its freaked out more than one man.  The gasps of pleasure turn into sobs and I have to hide my face.  Its like the physical release triggers an emotional one. 

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 1:26:28 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have cried during a scene it is usually from really intense emotioms.  Not from pain it does not do it for me, but my Master likes it when i cry from inense emotions it means he really got to me.  That is the only reason he ever wants me to cry.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 3:08:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Any time you ask the question "Does anyone else ...?" The answer is always YES.

And in this case, I actually have the same reactions and feelings you do.  Face slapping gets me going really good and really fast- and it will make me cry and sob VERy quickly.  It's not a bad thing, but it's something they need to be prepared for.

For me I think it's a mix of the suddenness of it, the physical contact mixed with the big emotional baggage that goes with it- BAM hits all at once, no time to process and you're there, helpless.

Oh and it's not a catharsis for me.

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 3:16:47 PM   
Cherish1102


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

For me I think it's a mix of the suddenness of it, the physical contact mixed with the big emotional baggage that goes with it- BAM hits all at once, no time to process and you're there, helpless.



I was wondering if by "emotional baggage" you mean things associated with the play itself or something else... I don't mean to pry, and if it's too personal, that's fine. I don't expect anything specific.

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 6:42:44 PM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		i cry sometimes when we break out the hair brush. i have a love/hate relationship with that hair brush. i know it's only applicable to me but i think that it has to do with putting me in a place emotionally where i have to let go. it ends up feeling good in the end though i feel like shit when we're doing it. i hate that damn hair brush...

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 8:23:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cherish1102
I was wondering if by "emotional baggage" you mean things associated with the play itself or something else... I don't mean to pry, and if it's too personal, that's fine. I don't expect anything specific.

For meit's just the play baggage, I don't have any of my own other than "never happened before I was into kink"

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 9:54:41 PM   
ghettoloveinblo


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe you cry because it is such a close, personally physical thing. Being slapped in the face (which I love), invades personal space like no other act that I can think of. You aren't alone.

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 11:17:10 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		There was a great thread on face slapping within the last month, I think.  Do a search ...

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/18/2008 11:32:50 PM   
darkpassenger434


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		It just sounds like a release type thing. If you're sure its a reaction to a sincerely pleasureable experience I would even go so far as to say its a possibly rare gift for your boyfriend. As a sadist with decidedly vampiric tendencies regarding being invited "in" so to speak I would love to have a sub with a violent trigger to crying that I was certain gave her pleasure. Sounds win/win to me.
-R

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RE: Normal or Odd Behavior? - 6/19/2008 12:47:00 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I find a connection with you on this.  It's the same thing that makes me well up with tears when I see some stupid sentimental part of a movie, tv show, or (this is embarrassing) a commercial, yet when I hear about something disgusting on the news, or watch something really morbid, I can make the most distasteful  jokes.  I still tear up seeing Mean Joe Greene toss his game jersey to the kid for giving him a coca cola, but I'll say something like "I wonder if they had a decibel meter for the screams?" when I hear about a plane crash. 



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