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knees2you -> In the Beginning (11/3/2005 10:03:04 AM)
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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and
spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
and Krispy Creme Donuts.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at
it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth
white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined
them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic
toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following
the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil
in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might
lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained
pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the
healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
them.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
McDonald's and its 99 cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said,
"It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Thought for the day ......
There is more money being spent on breast implants and
Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by
2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Sincerely, Ant[;)]
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