GoddessDustyGold
Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: addcted2it
Instant slave as opposed to submissive? Well, there are some who would say argue this point. My definition of a slave is one who has no choice. A submissive OTOH, HAS a choice. Assuming that is is true, then one who professses to be a slave, even though he or she has had experience, that experence in your opinion is not relevant? Am I missing something here? Or is this just a backlash from those dom/dommes who have had bad experiences from those who indentify themselves as slaves?
- Phil
Hi Phil...
If Misstoyou doesn't mind, I''m going to try to respond to your comment from a different perspective.
I have, in fact, had boys who have written to Me and told Me they are slaves and they have no choice, and they need to be owned...*by Me* Where is My choice in this? I don't even know the boy. It really doesn't matter how you label yourself. Many feel that unless you are in a current relationship as owned property, you are not a slave. You may be a submissive with previous slave experience, or you may be a submissive who aspires to a slave position. Regardless, the objection is to the "instant slavery". It is the assuption on the part of a boy that all he needs to do is offer himself up to a Domina and he will be collared. It doesn't work that way. At least not in real time.
As to a slave having no choice...a slave does have a choice. He chooses his Dominant, and, hopefully, he chooses wisely. Because in most slave relationships, unless or until the contract is broken, that is the last choice he will make.
And I have had boys contact me to be a slave, and then they respond, "well, I didn't want to be that much of a slave" or "that is extreme slavery to me". So unless a boy is willing to take a little time to allow the Domina to achieve a certain comfort level, and feel a reasonable compatibility, it is not a matter of just taking anyone in. Even if the boy feels like he will be happy as a clam, and he needs nothing more than an email or two and to see the photos, the Lady is likely to want more time. Unless you are applying to an established household wity several slave. Even then there are usually certain applications and interviews to pass.
It is important for people to feel some compatibility, and feel relaxed around a person. Even when one hires a housekeeper, there are applications, references, interviews,etc. In many cases, there is intimate involvement (not sex, but things like body massage or bathing) as well as some ritual involved in the M/s relationship.
Previous experience does count. Sometimes it is good...soemtimes not so good. There are many things to be considered on both sides, prior to this sort of relationship. When a boy expects to be instantly accepted, just because he is saying he want to come to a Domina, it is a turn off. At least for Me it is. So, no, I would not say that this is backlash from bad experience that Dominas have had from those identifying as slaves. I would say it is more a wondering on Our part that any boy would be that willing to just pick up and move without even really knowing the Domina, and/or assuming that the Domina doesn't need to know at least a reasonable amount about the boy. This is why first impressions in an introductory email and the info provided in a profile are so important. And why so many boys search and search and wonder why they never find their Domina. Don't you want to know a little something aobu tthe Lady you are planning to dedicate yourself to? Don't you think She should know about you?
Hope this helps.
_____________________________
Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom
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RE: Starting Slow...Why is this a problem? - 
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If anything someone that throws themself especially as a "slave" at me just because I'm female makes me VERY VERY wary. My first thoughts are what is so out of control in their life that they must give that control to a woman they know nothing about and what are they running from that they are so willing to drop everything. Scary scary stuff.
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