RE: 18 year olds....

RE: 18 year olds.... (Full Version)

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Dnomyar -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 9:02:57 AM)
MrRandallspe you put it better than I did.

DesFIP -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 9:22:10 AM)
Ten years ago you were probably obsessed with power rangers, five years ago you might have been gaga over Justin Timberlake. Were your feelings on these subjects powerful and true at the time? Certainly. Does that mean you are still just as powerfully obsessed or into these subjects now? Certainly not. People aren't going to believe you can commit for long term, because you have never committed yourself willingly to anything for long term. Stuff your parents make you do doesn't count. The other thing here is the fact that if you are living at home, being supported by your parents, then they get to make the rules. You don't if you want to top, and no top can if you want to bottom. Is it any wonder people pass you by when you may be interested but not available or aware of what is required? Not from where I stand. And if you say that you take your parents money and then lie to them about what you do and with whom, that just proves my point that you aren't trustworthy for anything long term.

TysGalilah -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 9:52:09 AM)
I think it is a very individual thing...re: maturity and life experiences. Age alone does not dictate whether you can be or cannot be successfully in a relationship...be it kinky, bdsm, alt or otherwise. I have been 18 ( well ya many many yrs ago..) and remember what I knew about my life expectations and experiences...and I would not have been prepared to understand myself w/re: to the "lifestyle" and its choices, intimacies, emotions and personal requirements to keep myself emotionally and physically safe and sound. but I have also had 2 children who are both over 18 yrs old. My son> at 18 was still trying to figure out how to stay out of trouble in his own life...let alone involve someone else in his... Yet, I feel he had ( and has ) a natural dominant tendancy and disposition about him. He is now, at 28, in a relationship which borderlines the alt life style and is the dominant in his relationship. My daughter...who is 21...at age 18 had had more lifeexperiences than most who are 35. At 21 has a maturity, sense of self and is capable of knowing herself, her sexual desires and can and is in a nurturing alternate lifestyle relationship. My response to your question about yourself personally> If you need to ask someone else if you are ready or prepared...then it might not be time yet. knowledge about oneself comes when it comes. You either feel it or you do not. It evolves and grows yes....but a certain amt of it to begin with is necessary imo. But its not really attached to a particular age group. life-experiences, self-awareness, self-esteem, in my opinion, are more accurate barometers.

pixidustpet -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 9:55:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: colouredin Hmm see there are these comments so often, and yet I have never had anyone treat me badly or imply my inexperiance due to my age, i really dont get it. this isnt about you specifically, but just a general statement.... but the majority of people need some life experience (age) to gather wisdom and develop maturity. absolutely, some never gain those two things. and there are some people i've known that seem to have been born old, and epitomise that phrase "wise beyond their years". you've always struck me as levelheaded and accepting of your place in your life...you realize where you stand as far as experience goes, you dont try to build yourself into what you arent, but do ask credit for what you are. that's wonderful....not many people do that. i get much more irritated with people who screech for equal experience recognition when they havent earned it. kitten, thoughtfully

SteelofUtah -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 10:04:42 AM)
Okay ain't that a load of Condesending Crap. Take into account the amout of 40 and 50 somethings who are divorced from thier 3rd or 4th Marriage who come to BDSM because at least here they can give a reason for not committing based on the "I own slaves not Love them" Or the 30 somethings who come to BDSM because Vanilla relationships are too hard and so even though still married they engage in relationships on the side. How have they showed a better ability to follow through Long Term? What a bunch of crap. Steel

MadRabbit -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 10:15:56 AM)
You have to get used to Des's morally superior, condesecending, upthight posts, Steel and enjoy the humor of them. I mean, anyone who compares an interest in intimate personal relations at the age of 18 with an infatuation with Power Rangers at the age of 10 isn't really someone to take too serious. Edited to Add : It's not like 18 year olds aren't out there making long term commitments to join the Armed Forces or anything.

crowbait -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 10:29:58 AM)
You can have 30 years of "do not want" and still not figure out exactly what you do want. An 18 (or 19 in my case) year old may have a ton of life experiences, but it isn't the experience- it's learning from them and taking away what will shape you as a better, more mature person. This is why older people can have a ton of life experiences and still be closed-minded- this is also why younger people need to stop rushing in to "grown up" experiences and grow from the ones they have first... It's like jumping from relationship to relationship without trying to figure out why they keep ending so terribly. To say you have the experience of a 40 year old isn't saying much. I know 40 year olds who run in to the same problem over and over, never learning from the last time they faced it. (I do believe thats called "insanity")

FRSguy -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 10:30:40 AM)
Being 18 is really no problem at all. New studies have shown that younger people today are way more sexualy aware then any other previouse generation especially when it comes to sexual identity. With Internet access they can explore concepts that previouse generations couldnt safely do. Where the older people probably get all bunged up on is that at age 18 you may experiment and then three or four years down the road decide you dont want to be a part of it all. There really isnt anything wrong with that but it does represent a considerable investment loss on the Doms part. There is also the aspect that an 18 yearold is more likely to do it for "fun" and ignore the political dynamics where as the older people are more likely to do it for the political dynamics. If your 18 you are a legal adult and you can do what you want the same as any other adult and you have a right to the persuit of your own happiness ... fuck em if they cant take a joke.

metalmiss -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 10:36:19 AM)
Age is nothing more than a number. i have met 18 year old "submissives" or "slaves" who, when i took the time to talk to them, i discovered that frankly, they didn't have a clue.. But i have met others who understood exactly what they were getting into & what drove them. i was 17 when i physically began to explore BDSM and the lifestyle, after initially spending my time in chatrooms for 18 months previous to that, talking to people and getting to know what it was really all about.. Though i do remember some out there being hesitant to know me, it was more because of the legal side with me being the age that i was. My advice, don't worry about it. The right person will look right past your age and see a connection. Thats surely all that matters?

colouredin -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:00:15 PM)
Differant people have differant experience and understanding at differant ages, the assumption that youth means inexperiance is one based on common sense (though most of us know that common sense isnt always so correct) But I can see where it comes from, I just assume that those put off by my age wouldnt talk to me, and I would also like to think that is their loss.

yngbutnot2yng -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:27:10 PM)
This topic doesnt really bother me. Its more so me being curious and trying to figure out why people would say certain thigns. like "Dnomyar" for example a few posts up. He gets so angry when i ask a simple question and i dont know why lol. i get messages from a lot of angry older men that feel the need to put my age in a chopping block. I pride myself in being a very intelligent person but i guess some things like this just make me confused lol but no worries. i m having fun on here talking to all of you and i know someone will be interested. If hitler cna have a wife i can at least find a date hha jk

yngbutnot2yng -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:29:00 PM)
thats the reason why im on here too. i am not saying i know everything but i knwo what i want and i never consider anything without thinking it all the way through.

yngbutnot2yng -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:30:15 PM)
thank you. i get that a lot...angry men almost to the point of cyber yelling at me for being on here. haha

yngbutnot2yng -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:33:40 PM)
no no no i am not bragging at all. im honestly jsut trying to understand why SOME people feel the need to (in some cases) verbally attack someone who is in the lifestyle. i o see whwere you are comign from and i am in no way saying that i know everything....i jsut know what i want.

yngbutnot2yng -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 12:40:06 PM)
actually i am still living at home yes. but i have the same responisbilies that an adult would have. insurance, credit card bills, rent, utilities. i work full time and i go to school. YES when i was younger i asked my parent for money but i'm sure you have too. I jsut dont seee why age should be such an important issue. Its the maturity that i see is the big issue. If you talk to me as a person, not an 18 year old girl then things would be different. And generalizing the younger generation as people who " you take your parents money and then lie to them about what you do and with whom, that just proves my point that you aren't trustworthy for anything long term." then that is jsut what i am talking about.

CruelDesires -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 1:13:39 PM)
When you reply to specific posts, you can keep track of you who are replying to by hitting the little "quote" button on the top right corner of the post you are responding to. It will open up a new "reply" window that you can type into on top or underneath of their original posting. It will also help to make things more clear to others who are reading the thread. CD

CruelDesires -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 1:15:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CruelDesires When you reply to specific posts, you can keep track of you who are replying to by hitting the little "quote" button on the top right corner of the post you are responding to. It will open up a new "reply" window that you can type into on top or underneath of their original posting. It will also help to make things more clear to others who are reading the thread. CD Like so.:) CD

BitaTruble -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 1:41:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng Do you honestly belive that someone of such a young age can be serious about a lifestyle such as this. Yes, I honestly believe that but I also honestly believe that BDSM is a fad for many folks regardless of their age. quote: I am not being indecisive i would just like to know your opinion of it all. I've been interested in the lifestyle for a long time or as long as 18 years can permit me but i am still greeted with comments about people saying that i dont know what im talking about. Don't sweat the small stuff or the small minded. quote: The way i see it. I could be more experienced than a 40 year old but since i am as young as i am it just seems like its a turn off for some. Of course it is and being into BDSM for 40 years will be a turn-off for others. It's really no big deal. You're not going to mesh with everyone, so don't try. Use your energy wisely and hook up with people who are interested in 'you', not your birthdate. edited for font fix

Daddystouch -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 4:39:59 PM)
Being 19, I have much the same concerns as the OP. But I think this topic really answers the question quite completely: some people have written back saying don't be silly, younger people shouldn't be taken seriously, whilst others have said of course they can be taken seriously. Some of it, I am sure, is down to personal taste. Plenty of people just don't personally want a young partner, but I am sure there are some (be they young themselves or older) who do. But of course some people are just closed minded, ageist or any number of things that might lead them to believe that a young person cannot or should not be taken seriously in BDSM. Personally, I first touched on BDSM when I was 15. I didn't think of it like that, I just thought of it as "tying her up", "rough sex", "calling her names" but looking back I can see that it was in fact light BDSM. That was four years ago and I'm definitely more into it now than I was then. Maybe it's a passing fad, but I figure that now is when things are falling into place for me. The political, artistic and philosophical leanings I have developed in the past couple of years, I suspect, will be with me for the rest of my life. I don't see why my sexual tastes should be majorly different.

MusicalBoredom -> RE: 18 year olds.... (6/19/2008 4:56:58 PM)
The point I tried to make (rather badly mind you) is that not all of the things that people say will really be about your age. Some people may say all sorts of mean or nasty things because some people just say mean and nasty things. It's not always about age. Have fun, do what you like and learn along the way. I've learned plenty from people your age and younger. Even my kids are constantly teaching me new perspectives or things about life in general. Hopefully they learn from me as well.

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