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RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/20/2008 7:34:35 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

What a bunch of garbage. "Im 18 but I could be more expierienced than some 40 year olds. You could be dumber than a 5 year old also. If your going to come into the lifestyle come in on your own merits. Trying to put older people into the negative spotlight just shows your immaturity. So what if someone older than you may know less. Thats not saying they they are not trying to learn more. Not everyone here has joined the lifestyle at a young age. Hint. Try an attitude adjustment.


I prefer my men older.....wink wink

As for age - it is just a number, as in dating.  Where I get concerned is the ones (young or old) who feel they are experts, and only have 6 months or so of experience.  An open mind can go anywhere.  I learn everyday...and enjoy life because of it.  :)

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/21/2008 1:34:44 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I know, the correct perspective is one that includes the poster in the shiny badge club but excludes everyone else.  But since the origin of that crap is tying up prisoners, prior to beheading, torturing, or ransoming, posturing over what is and isn't real just seems so pathetic to me.  It reeks of "boys only" signs hung on the side of tree forts.


That's not quite the point. Though I'm definately sure the people you describe exist. The origin isn't that relevant. Many bdsm techniques stem from western torture devices yet no one will claim that your only practicing bdsm when you've used red hot pinchers on those nipples, now would they? The other side to your shiny badge club people is the people that I've seen often enough who tie an extremely sloppy rope dress with slick synthetic ropes which basically doesn't do anything but look like a rope dress and pass that off as "shibari".

The point with shibari (and I don't quite claim to be that much of an expert) is that many of the more authentic techniques I've seen so far from people who have actually been to Japan is that they actually have a purpose. Either for safety or for tying speed (shibari by and large being a performance art as much as anything else) or for other purposes. Many of these techniques will only be safe when using high friction rope. Which is not to say that there are no safe ways to tie people with other techniques, there are plenty. But why would one insist on calling that shibari? My guess is because of a drive to join your shiny badge club - shibari sells better.





(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/21/2008 9:41:34 AM   
MrRandallspe


Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		For myself, I much prefer those that are very open minded,have that deep desire to learn and to not have  fears or any hang ups for trying new things. While I do enjoy subs/slaves that are 10 or more years younger than I am,,since they have that deep hunger and desire to learn to serve properly and to do many different,kinky,twisted and perverted things that pop into my head....i will not turn down a good hwp female that is cmuch closer to my age .
Hell....I will spank and whip females of all ages.

(in reply to Guilty1974)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/21/2008 9:50:51 AM   
DaddyDomAndMom


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Dnomyar, its great you discovered and are exploring at a young chronologic age.  The world has much with negativity, if you are not already hopefully you will become a positive type which justs lets the negative be like rain on a duck.  Obviously there are 40 yo with no BDSM experience or knowledge. So your just being here makes your statement true.

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/21/2008 9:28:02 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng

Do you honestly belive that someone of such a young age can be serious about a lifestyle such as this. I am not being indecisive i would just like to know your opinion of it all. I've been interested in the lifestyle for a long time *or as long as 18 years can permit me* but i am still greeted with comments about people saying that i dont know what im talking about.



Yes I can. I'm living proof of this. I'm following a path through life which I worked out at 17, next month I turn 42.

Lots of people have told me I don't know what I'm talking about. They make for amusing memories and reasons to laugh later.

quote:

ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng

The way i see it. I could be more experienced than a 40 year old but since i am as young as i am it just seems like its a turn off for some.



I agree here. But I've met a considerable number of people who as adults I admire simply for getting through their childhoods.

Age is just a number. Maturity is only of value when it comes with wisdom. But then again, stupidity becomes more visible with age.

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(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/21/2008 10:09:46 PM   
Demspotis


Posts: 61
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The OP began by asking whether we think that 18-year olds can "be serious" about the "lifestyle". People of any age after gaining ordinary self-awareness can be serious about anything they know of, with or without experience. Seriousness and experience are quite different things, both important.

It's entirely possible for an 18-year old to have years of experience. Some of us break free of "vanilla" perversity before ever suffering practical exposure to it. There are so many variables that can affect when and how someone starts that's is really not possible to accurately base a judgment about the seriousness or experience of any adult on their age. If there is a call to judge at all, we should do it based on talking or otherwise interacting with them for long enough to judge on their merits and qualities.

(in reply to MrRandallspe)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/22/2008 10:21:42 PM   
MrRandallspe


Posts: 110
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		Many can and have started in this at a young age, I started at 17 and did search out all I could find to learn more. Lest we all be too hasty,,,we all started out green and learned as we progressed.

(in reply to Demspotis)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 1:16:17 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng

Do you honestly belive that someone of such a young age can be serious about a lifestyle such as this. I am not being indecisive i would just like to know your opinion of it all. I've been interested in the lifestyle for a long time *or as long as 18 years can permit me* but i am still greeted with comments about people saying that i dont know what im talking about.

The way i see it. I could be more experienced than a 40 year old but since i am as young as i am it just seems like its a turn off for some.



They way I see it is: "if you have to ask the answer is no".

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(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 1:24:31 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I think so.  I believe that doms and subs are born, not made, and I've had sadistic fantasies for as long as I can remember--maybe since as early as the age of 3.  By 20 I was experimenting with handcuffs and light bondage, and I don't consider that particularly early.

The problem is that few 18-year-olds have the opportunity and emotional strength to pursue d/s.  At that age, they're usually still figuring out who they are and desperately trying to fit in.  But I would never discount the possibility that an 18-year-old could be serious about d/s.

quote:

ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng

Do you honestly belive that someone of such a young age can be serious about a lifestyle such as this.

(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 3:08:08 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Can a 18 year old know more about the lifestyle than some adults. Of course. At the same time can they still be immature. Of course. You can get your ass beat with a belt at any age. But at 18 that dosent mean that there was any sense knocked into you.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 5:17:23 AM   
sarzyness


Posts: 23
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline 		i dont think i've ever had anyone telling me i cant make serious decision, like what kind of life style i choose to live, but i do get a lot of people just assuming i've not got any experience which is a bit anoying

i moved out of home when i was 14, and had to practically fend for myself  and have seen things, and experienced things most 40yr olds have never even considerd, so it does get really anoying when i get people telling me i've got no experience, in life, or the lifestyle... but its ok... i put them straight :)

(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 8:01:12 AM   
Magnus30


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: yngbutnot2yng

Do you honestly belive that someone of such a young age can be serious about a lifestyle such as this. I am not being indecisive i would just like to know your opinion of it all. I've been interested in the lifestyle for a long time *or as long as 18 years can permit me* but i am still greeted with comments about people saying that i dont know what im talking about.

The way i see it. I could be more experienced than a 40 year old but since i am as young as i am it just seems like its a turn off for some.



The way I see it, the only thing a person at 18 cannot have is experience.  Not so much D/s experience but general life experience.  I'd look askance at anyone at such a young age proposing to be either Master or slave with the commitments and responsibilities that such a thing implies.  But to be, in some measure, Dom or sub?  sure... why not?  In the end, one only needs the amount of responsibility required to match the authority being requested.

In terms of "being serious about the lifestyle".... pffffft.  What the hell does that mean?  I don't recall anyone ever asking me whether I was serious about being male, or serious about being straight.  How is "serious about being dom or sub" any different?  You are serious if you are... at any age.  Fools use "years of experience" as some sort of indicator of both seriousness and competence.  Neither holds up to close scrutiny.

I'm sure this answer is going to aggravate some of the "old guard", "descended from the 12 circle of whatever" crowd, but so be it.

~not a serious dom


I have to say Sir. This was the best statement in the entire topic. I totally agree with you on this. Great perspective.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 11:09:07 AM   
Gorgias


Posts: 41
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline 		I'm 19.

You're young, and there will be a lot of learning and experimenting to do.  You're probably not in a life situation to move in with someone and do the 24/7 thing, but that doesn't mean that you can't start experimenting.

(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 11:22:30 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I attended a play party this last weekend. There were a variety of peeps, of course, including peeps of all ages. I was particularly impressed with two young men. One was in his early 20's the other looked to be about 19 or so. They did a shibari scene and some other play, as well as play with a couple of Dommes. I must say that I was impressed , not only with their skills, but also with their awareness and observance of protocols , in the context of play,but also with their social skills and level of self awareness.

Certain generalizations may be made in regards to age, but to put too much credibility in them is a mistake. They are merely generalizations.


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(in reply to Gorgias)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 3:02:57 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		As always, depends on the person and his/her ideas of What D/s means specifically to him/her.

It took me a little time to figure out how deeply rooted my need to serve was, once I did, it was easy sailing from there. I know what I want, now I need the patience to obtain it. I'm quite young, and that is okay too. As long as I keep my eyes wide open and remember that i am always responsible for Me, than i will do alright.

=)

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(in reply to MrRandallspe)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/23/2008 3:03:38 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		What i find rather amusing are the number of age related posts recently.  The teens and twenties complain that they are not taken seriously due to their age.  The thirties and forties complain because they are seen as too old for the teens and twenties, but too young for those in the fifty and sixty range so they can't find partners.  Finally there are posts from the fifties and sixties wondering if they should give up the search because most consider them too old....and when is too old to do what we do. 

In conclusion...no matter what your age you will always find something to complain about whether it's the respect you feel you are due and not getting, people younger and older than you who feel you are not the right age for them, or those who think only the younger crowd should be part of this. 

No age is the perfect age. 

(in reply to yngbutnot2yng)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: 18 year olds.... - 6/25/2008 6:35:58 AM   
yngbutnot2yng


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Can a 18 year old know more about the lifestyle than some adults. Of course. At the same time can they still be immature. Of course. You can get your ass beat with a belt at any age. But at 18 that dosent mean that there was any sense knocked into you.

wow


< Message edited by yngbutnot2yng -- 6/25/2008 6:38:03 AM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 77
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