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softness -> RE: Procurement in relation to cuckholding (6/19/2008 2:22:16 PM)
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First, when you bring girls home, are you an active participant? a cuckhold? are you even there?
Dark Victory and I don't live together at this time. I am currently speaking with a couple of girls to join us next time a take a trip out in about a month, and likewise some girls in the Uk for when DV comes here later in the summer. From time to time we will be chatting with someone local to Him who catches His interest, and if I was able to contribute to her taking the edge off His demon between my visits, then that is something I am more than happy to do.
In the discussion He and I have had, it has been made clear some of the time I will be there, and some of the time I will not. It would be perfectly in keeping with the dynamic of our relationship for me to be sent to dig a pointless hole in His yard under the blazing midday sun while He fucks someone else, just as it would be in keeping for Him to order me to beat the bejesus out of her while He watches. Just as DV brings out my compliant doormat, He brings out my evil bitch Top. Both are aspects of the girl He owns, and therefore His property for use.
There is certainly a degree of cuckholdry in the whole process of me procuring for Him. It creates a very specific set of emotions, ideas and values for me. I need emotional distress and torture. Procuring for Him not only provides Him with various and delectable partners, but also creates a playspace in which He can be free to emotionally torture me in a way different to standing over me with a nail gun.
What are you feeling at that moment, sexually and emotionally when you know he is with someone else ? Afterwards? The next day?
Overcoming jealousy over other women is something very recent, as recent as my visit and passing my interview. I am owned meat, and I am secure in that position unless I fuck up in some hugely destructive way. Even as recently as a month ago I could not rely on that security. As such, I was hurt, frightened, envious, jealous and generally under emotional distress when I thought/knew He was with another girl.
Around 2 months ago charlotteS and Stephann met up with DV in San Fransisco, they went to a club and played and then stayed the night at DV's house. I played a large part in getting that sorted out (mostly bloody mindedly reminding Sir to remember to make phonecalls etc, and plotting away with charlotteS). charlotteS and I are really close, we talk often and only a logistical nightmare stopped her being side by side with DV to meet me off the plane on my visit out. I love her to pieces, trust her, know she has no designs on DV, and was happy about the thought they would all meet up and play. I was still in bits over it, I was tetchy and difficult in my own skin that day and jittery while I waited to hear back from them. I spoke to all three late night their time, could hear charlotte all goey and spacey, and Sir happy to have had some enjoyable play. I was crushed and elated all at once. I can admit now that there were w few tears, especially when I saw pictures of her with the man I was devoted to, but had never met. charlotte is stunning, she is a much heavier bottom than me and so (in my head) far more exciting to play with, she is nearby, she is intelligent, witty and sexy (and though she is very very very Owned lol) alarms were going off all over my head that she would replace me. She didn't. SIr, thank my lucky stars, has decided He wants me, and so I am His and joyful for it.
The whole thing showed me that other girls in Sir's bed, especially when I am not there, is going to be a whole form of emotional torture for me, that I will willingly submit to in order to be pleasing to Sir. I don't believe there is any such thing as a selfless act - and so will also say that the emotional torture is key to my own happiness and contentedness. That doesn't mean its nice when it happens, emotional distress is emotional distress, its real and painful and potentially destructive if not handled right.
How exactly do you find Him "enough pussy to drown in?" What do you say to the girl? Is the girl OK with a one night stand? Are they usually only one night stands?
He is hardly drowing in it right now ... but a girl can dream.
He and I have pretty strong kung-fu .. I have never had a problem getting myself, my friends or anyone else laid. Its a case of being open, friendly and enticing. I am always honest about what I am doing. With girls who are really, no shit, into real life BDSM usually the prospect of a decent, intelligent, healthy, skilled and evil Top/Dom/Master interested in playing with them is hardly repugnant. What I say would vary from girl to girl, just like in bar one line does not fit all. Its not rocket science finding a willing girl, its just time consuming. I am not in the business of finding Him property - not yet anyhow - I wouldn't trust myself to get it right.
Are there any s types who are simply told to show up at another Dom's house in order to be the (what would be the feminine version of "bull"? not cow! ) Have done it before, in another relationship. It went well a couple of times, and really fucking badly once. Part of me would do it again, but part of me is seriously consumed with the concept of only ever being His now. It has a real sense of Ownership, of being property, that no one else will fuck me but DV for as long as I am His. Obviously though, He may do a turnabout on that and have me whoring on street corners.
hope that furnishes you with the answers you wanted
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