RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 6:59:21 AM)

Warning: Obnoxiour humour below......

Fact: Only the Mods can control who posts on these forums.

Fact: Each person that posts comes from a different mindset and way of communicating and, more importantly, receiving information.

Fact: Some people take even the most carefully worded disagreement as a personal attack.

Fact: Some people LOVE poking sharp sticks at other people just to watch the reaction.

Fact: The written word via the net is one of the most misunderstood mediums there is. (some silly survey I read once)

Fact: Most people know what is best for others and ignore their own issues. OR, use other's issue to feel better about their own. All while pretending their own does not exist.

Fact: There are alot of fucktards in this world yet very few people are aware of their own fucktardness.

Fact: Fucktards make other fucktards feel better about themselves.

etc etc etc

Assumption based upon above facts.......One would think after reading through others fucktard postings and the fucktard replies accompanied by much slinging of stanky shit, that new fucktards would refrain from posting their personal issues. Unfortunately.... please see fact #6.

Again, due to the entertainment and comic relief I say.............God bless the fucktards.[:D]



Deliena -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 7:06:26 AM)

ROFLMAO!! So glad I'd just put my teacup down!



ownedgirlie -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 7:06:54 AM)

There is a difference between not agreeing with what someone says and does, and personally insulting/criticizing/ridiculing someone.  I don't like when people do that offline as well as online. 

"I would not do what you guys do - it just rubs me wrong"

versus

"Anyone who does that is lazy, stupid, weak, mentally ill....etc."

See the difference? 

Yes, I take it as an insult when people critize me or my Master.  Why?  Because it is an insult.  And it is my right to judge that insult just as much as it is someone else's right to launch it.  I take it as an insult when I see someone criticize someone else the same way.  And by "criticize" I'm talking about making harsh and unnecessary critiques about someone's persona versus someone's "kink."  And it's not that I feel personally injured; it's that I feel disgusted by what I see - big difference.

I'm not sure why your mind is boggled, Erin; you've been around here long enough to have seen the difference between disagreement and personal insults.   And I'm not sure why anyone would be confused about why a personal insult would bother someone.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 7:12:07 AM)

~ Fast Reply ~
 
"Here there be sadists!"
 
It's amazing that people forget that basic fact. They are are logged in and posting to a site focused on sadistic practices. Then again, trolling and posting something silly and getting the expected negative reaction, may be a way for some to satisfy their masochistic desires and we're all serving them - playing the part of dominant facilitator. 

More amazing, and incredibly amusing, is how people allow words posted by anonymous people represented mostly by caricature icons, effect them. I've said it before, what I'd really like to see tallied on the profile page isn't 'admirers' or 'friends' but 'blocked by'. I'd love to know how many have blocked me. It would be a great game. You'd reach different levels based upon the number from 'tenderfoot' to 'hired gun' to 'gunslinger'. Of course if you get put on probation or banned by the Mods you lose all your 'points'. Moderation can be 'jail-time' and if you're banned your sent to CM 'boot-hill'!



thishereboi -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 7:13:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Warning: Obnoxiour humour below......

Fact: Only the Mods can control who posts on these forums.

Yes, but Mod 11 is hot, so it's all good

Fact: Each person that posts comes from a different mindset and way of communicating and, more importantly, receiving information.
Which is why it is important to have several brands of tin foil available at all times.

Fact: Some people take even the most carefully worded disagreement as a personal attack.
OK, now just what the hell did you mean by that? Are you saying I am an idiot?

Fact: Some people LOVE poking sharp sticks at other people just to watch the reaction.
[sm=poke.gif]

Fact: The written word via the net is one of the most misunderstood mediums there is. (some silly survey I read once)
I'm sorry, I didn't understand that last one?

Fact: Most people know what is best for others and ignore their own issues. OR, use other's issue to feel better about their own. All while pretending their own does not exist.
[sm=alarm.gif]

Fact: There are alot of fucktards in this world yet very few people are aware of their own fucktardness.

Fact: Fucktards make other fucktards feel better about themselves.

etc etc etc

So go hug a fucktard today  [sm=dancing.gif]

Assumption based upon above facts.......One would think after reading through others fucktard postings and the fucktard replies accompanied by much slinging of stanky shit, that new fucktards would refrain from posting their personal issues. Unfortunately.... please see fact #6.

Oh great, now I gotta do math, and I just put my shoes on.

Again, due to the entertainment and comic relief I say.............God bless the fucktards.[:D]

God bless them, every one [sm=applause.gif]




LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 7:17:04 AM)

i do not know   maybe it could be a social concept of twisted logic or something.  have no idea. if your glued to these boards and your life lives these as law of land one would say thats a personal problem that no one can do anything for you.  I guess what it comes down to is why care  there is a Fucktard in every part of life in someway or some how. 

we just haves to pokeses their eyeses out



IronBear -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 8:22:57 AM)

The Commonsence Genarally Applicable Rules from the Ursine Chronicals incluse:
  • You can always AGREE TO DISAGREE!
  • Attack the subject and NOT the poster/other party!
  • When making statements and comments you open yourself to chriticism which may not be personal.
Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).







Leatherist -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:02:19 AM)

Some people just need to grow up, and realize that the world does not exist to validate thier happy little fantasies..



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:06:50 AM)

I get judged all the time, everythign from being abusive to Fox (yeah, you can see how horrible he is treated) to being unfair to Angel by depriving him of sex (HE turned ME down, but that doesnt seem to matter)
I usually just tell them if my way doesnt work for them, then I suggest they not try it. I sure as hell have no interest in tryng it their way, so we can call it even and move along.
Then again, there is always the old saying: If I wanted to hear the opinion of an asshole, I'd fart (thanks granddad)

DV



LaTigresse -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:09:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Some people just need to grow up, and realize that the world does not exist to validate thier happy little fantasies..


Please quit trying to pop my happy, rose coloured glasses, little bubble.

Cuz, you know, this is a "special" club. this lifestyle thang. We all support one another and dance around a campfire every Wednesday and Friday singing kumbaya. Your okay because I'm okay.

Erin..........feel free to tell me to shuddit any time.



Leatherist -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:12:48 AM)

Remember-you asked for it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCP2YV6Jge0



pinksugarsub -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:19:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yup. You put it out there and I hate to tell you this but EVERYBODY who read it or responded judged it. Just because someone responds that they are opposed doesn't make it any more a judgment than those who responded in agreement. Like in the old RUSH song...."if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice". So why is it that so many people hurl the "judgmental" label like a weapon....which, by the way, is also just as "judgmental". Do you really think that your particular situation will be favorable or understandable to EVERYONE? Did you not expect that there would be some who were NOT in agreement?

When we post intimate or personal information about ourselves on here we are painting a picture and holding it up for others to see. When you look at a piece of art you either like it, hate it...or it just doesn't really do anything for you one way or another. Sometimes you need only see a glimpse of that picture to decide if it strikes your fancy...or not. Sometimes you need to look at every brush stroke it took to create it. We all are not going to find the same picture appealing and want to hang it on our wall.

Just boggles my mind that some folks on here seem to think that when someone doesn't agree and posts an opposing view that they have then sustained some kind of injury as a result.

I've been judged on here many, many times...both positively and negatively. I've even been judged for being judgmental. I don't feel injured by it....as a matter of fact when I put the words down and hit the "submit" button....I expect that everyone who reads them will form some kind of judgment. To expect any other result would just make no sense.


erin, you didn't furnish a link to th Op & thread that upset you, so i can only respond in generalities.
 
First, you 'sound' distressed. 
 
erin, real life is stresssful enough.
 
'net stress is a 'self-inflicted injury' and IMO W/we'd be better off not allowing it in O/our lives. 
 
If these boards are 'upsetting' you, just stop coming -- at least for awhile.  That's my advice -- i hope it helps.
 
i usually enjoy your posts and i wish you well.
 
pinksugarsub



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:20:54 AM)

Isn't this off topic?



Madame4a -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:22:06 AM)

very good example, unfortunately, I think many people don't see that distinction...

I often think about how I'd like to hear bad information.. and I do a few things when someone presents a problem.. I suggest that people might want to think about what they would tell thier best friend in a similar situation, and or, I say.. "if it were me, I would ... "



agoodgirl4Daddy -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:22:09 AM)

Everything I post on these forums comes from a place of deep conviction and are always just my opinions.  IF my opinions offend others, that's just too bad. 
 
If you can't take the heat................  you know the rest.



mistoferin -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:23:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

There is a difference between not agreeing with what someone says and does, and personally insulting/criticizing/ridiculing someone.  I don't like when people do that offline as well as online. 

"I would not do what you guys do - it just rubs me wrong"

versus

"Anyone who does that is lazy, stupid, weak, mentally ill....etc."

See the difference? 


Hi owned,
Yes, I do see the difference. To be really honest though I don't see either one as bad. There ARE lots of people on here that are lazy, stupid, weak, mentally ill, etc. Honestly, the only conclusion I can even begin to come to from some of the things people here will post is that they must have a serious humiliation kink. If a person is going to make a complete ass of themselves with their words they shouldn't be surprised that some people will notice and call them an ass.

quote:

Yes, I take it as an insult when people critize me or my Master.  Why?  Because it is an insult.  And it is my right to judge that insult just as much as it is someone else's right to launch it.  I take it as an insult when I see someone criticize someone else the same way.  And by "criticize" I'm talking about making harsh and unnecessary critiques about someone's persona versus someone's "kink."  And it's not that I feel personally injured; it's that I feel disgusted by what I see - big difference. 


Well, there is lots of stuff that I see on here that totally disgusts me also...so I'm with you there. But isn't calling a person "judgmental" in a context that is meant to be an insult criticizing also? Just this morning on another thread there were people who took a comment that I made and referred to it (without naming me) and went on a bent about how "judgmental" it was. So yes, even though my name wasn't directly mentioned, they were criticizing me. So should I feel insulted by that...injured in some way? I don't....but I DO see the delicious irony in it and am amused by it. Yes the comment I made was insulting....I meant it to be. It had nothing whatsoever to do with the topic at hand and everything to do with a particular poster, his perceived motivations ( a conclusion that I drew from his commentary on another thread where he suggested that another was to blame for the wrongdoings of her partner because she didn't do what he expected his girl to do). Surprising enough...I don't have any issues at all with the topic that was being discussed.

quote:

I'm not sure why your mind is boggled, Erin; you've been around here long enough to have seen the difference between disagreement and personal insults.   And I'm not sure why anyone would be confused about why a personal insult would bother someone.   


What I said was that my mind is boggled when people feel they have sustained an injury when someone doesn't agree with them....and I will even go so far as to include personal insults. I absolutely do see the difference between disagreements and personal insults....and I have no problem doing either. No, I don't understand why a personal insult from a complete stranger on an internet message board would bother anyone. There was a saying in kindergarten..."Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me". It's a true saying and words can really only hurt someone if they choose to allow them to.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:23:36 AM)

The #1 problem I see isn't "judging" per se, but leaping to conclusions based on incomplete and slanted information. 

Sometimes you really don't need to know more.  ("Is it safe for a Dom to perform a lumber puncture on the back of a sub?"  Answer: No, no matter how you spell lumber.)  But most of the time, come on.  Someone's putting some deep emotional issue in one or two paragraphs.  You don't know them, you don't know their partner.  The safest route is to ask more questions, and understand you are looking at opinions, not facts.



devoutHeretic -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:37:39 AM)

quote:

EvilGeoff said:
There are LOTS of ways to fuck up an omellete.


You sir, just made my heros list!

And on the topic of "validation" I have a judgementphobe RL friend who constantly "needs validation"
I always reply "you are not a parking stub....get on with your life"



hisgirl2011 -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 9:59:22 AM)

umm no, perhaps I have opinions on things but i don't make petty and personal insults against people. Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself snark petty things like the way someone looks at a gym? Learn tolerance. When you make petty judgements against someone to insult them (leveling them down) it won't make you happy in the end.



Missokyst -> RE: Someone judged me/my relationship/my kinks (6/20/2008 10:10:34 AM)

I am judgemental as heck.  LOL but why would someone be bothered by that?  They judge me too, and I don't give a rip.  Everyone is judgemental.  If we weren't we would be potatoes.  We like what we like, are horrified by what horrifies us, and that is as it should be.  I don't understand why people are so.. PC that they believe if you don't all agree, then it is an insult or a negative thing.  But those same people think that it is wrong to be critical. 
I don't live my life by someone else's judgement of who I should be.  I live my life my way and rarely consider that someone is hearing or reading what I say and take that to mean they must do it my way.  I don't give that much power to any stranger and I would serioustly question the maturity of someone who gave that much power to my opinion.  EVEN if it is stated negatively. 
Kyst



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