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RealSub58 -> RE: Was I Wrong (7/25/2008 5:37:23 PM)
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RE: Was I Wrong NO!!
ORIGINAL: subinlife
Ok, all I want to know is, was I wrong not to talk to Him about backing away and telling Him I was backing away in an E-mail. After He told me I answered to no one but myself.
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Ok I didn't say it was His fault. In no way do I blame Him as most of you think. Yes I told Him about the injury shortly after it happened. I blame myself for all that happened, even the e-mail. It wasn't the best way to handle the problem. I know that now, this was something I needed to learn. Thank you for all you have said, good or bad. He was right I was wrong. Despite what he had said.
This man is to mentor you, real, not by email or cyber.
You are a “novice sub.”
He does not own you and you are not accountable to him.
Apparently communication is askew somehow.
First off, go back and find out what it was you agreed that he would mentor you on.
Men speak Greek to us women and women speak Italian to men. So if he is not mentoring you on how communication might flow or should flow, then it is not your fault. So stop blaming yourself.
Between my Sir and myself, there is a right and wrong way to communicate. We did not sit down and make up rules, they grew with us learning about each other and once owned there were some definite rules I was taught.
If you were told you are not his, and both of you know this, you did do the right thing in making up your own mind and following through with what was best for you.
Being answerable to yourself is just like you had never met him…responsibility and accountability lie with you. He has no say. So once again, don’t be blaming yourself.
I don’t know how you communicated with him about your injury. Maybe he assumed he caused it? Personally, if this would have been my scenario, I would have emailed and said ~~ “Sir, I injured myself and I need to take care of myself and thus am requesting that we hold off on the hands on mentoring for a while until I am physically able.” If he goes ballistic on that, there is more to his “mentoring” than he is saying.
My Sir mentors. He does this my email and when it comes to demonstrations…he uses me. A mentor is a wise trusted guide or advisor who serves as a teacher. I had a mentor who served as more of a counselor and we only ever emailed. My Sir takes that a bit farther and does use me as his subject matter.
Subinlife, you are being to hard on yourself and taking all the blame here is not the best way to settle this or find resolution. Even if he is a dom, remember he is only a man and humans make mistakes.
I am going out on a limb again and stating his expectations for and of you were not clearly defined, because it seems he expected something different than the original expectations of this mentor student relationship. I think it falls upon the dom to clearly state expectations in a mentor relationship ~ it is his responsibility and not yours. It is your responsibility to respond with questions and fully comprehend the expectations and if they are not what you expect, then you are responsible to speak for yourself.
Me personally? And my Sir would concur…. Tell him you are no longer interested in his mentoring and you are no longer interested in speaking with him or being with him. My Sir will always allow me to answer for myself, even as owned, as are many here.
Sir's property
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