Closing down

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Closing down

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Closing down

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Closing down - 6/20/2008 4:37:41 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

Bdsm is an intense experience. In my experience at least I can speak with certainty. I would call a scene a peak experience. And as such there are experiences I have had which I can recall many years later and indeed I can recall pivotal moments of a scene, focal points.
Whilst I know of the terns sub drop, dom drop, and that these terms are usually equated with the unexpected turn of events, there is nevertheless a 'come down' from the chemistry of bdsm generally.
As with other peak experiences there are known methods for closing down. Closing down after healing, closing down after a performance, closing down after trauma even.....and such closing down can be taught and can be trained for.
I have my own ways of closing down after pain and especially after emotional pain. Indeed I have had to be pretty strong in developing closing down in the absemce of any after care (the best of masochism for me).
Are there any thoughts on closing down?
The necessity for it?
The methods others find useful?
Lessons learned from not closing down and being let's say as high as a kite in an everyday world which doesn't understand the drug?
Thankful, as ever.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

Post #: 1

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 4:39:54 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

At the risk of sounding like a total doofus:
What the heck do you mean by 'closing down'?

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 2

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 4:49:59 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

At the risk of sounding like a total doofus:
What the heck do you mean by 'closing down'?

Here are a few links around what I mean by closing down. These are in the context of reiki, kundalini yoga and hynosis (known as termination).
http://www.kunlunbliss.com/forward.html http://www.reikinottingham.co.uk/thesubtlebody.htm http://www.hypnotherapy-training.com/hypnotherapy_syllabus.htm http://www.pep-web.org/document.php?id=psar.043.0506a http://student.britannica.com/comptons/article-202315/hypnosis
The links are not cited necessairly to be of scholarly value in those subjects but just to illustrate what I meant by closing down.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

Post #: 3

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 4:55:45 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

One word Jan..... beer!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 4

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 5:07:03 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
Are there any thoughts on closing down?
The necessity for it?
The methods others find useful?
Lessons learned from not closing down and being let's say as high as a kite in an everyday world which doesn't understand the drug?
Thankful, as ever.

I read some of the links you sent me, and I believe I understand now what you meant. How does one come off of that 'high' to take a breath and relax? That's how I interpreted it.

My method of 'closing down', if I can call it that, would be to cling to my owner and/or sob violently until I relax. That's in extreme situations. Otherwise, I don't think I can honestly say I have a powerful 'closing down' experience. I just kind of...am. Constantly. Even after my 'closing down' period I still am as submissive as ever...with maybe just a touch less bratty-ness to me :P

As far as it being necessary...I don't see why it would be absolutely vital to anyone to close down and what harm staying high could bring. If it makes them happy and doesn't cause conflict with their everyday functioning, then roll with it!

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 5

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 6:42:31 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Are there any thoughts on closing down?
The necessity for it?

Prinsexx,

Your term for the mental state, and indeed the physical state in hand and hand with the Dominants responsibility for "after care" While some "D"'s believe in the ride em hard and put em away wet metnod, the caring dom's will recognize the need and do what is necessary be it soft stroking or drawing a warm bath with candles it is a state that needs attention.

CP

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 6

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 6:45:45 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

After my Sir and i have had a satisfying scene, he leaves me on the table, turns the lights off and sits in his chair until i am ready to come back. Then i go kneel at his feet and lean on his little rounded tummy. Very nice.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 7

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 7:02:44 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If I am ramped up to extreamly high endorphine levels not helping me come down and come back to normalicy in some way will lead to tears and depression and just generally a high level of insatisfaction. When i fly, I need him to help me with it. What you make soar through the sky will have to crash eventually, and it can be very harsh a crash. More so if I don't have the emotional contact and saftey I need. For me, I make it extreamly clear aftercare is needed when playtime is over, if they ignore that they will never play with me again.

It would also lead me to believe my partner didn't care about seeing me through subspace safely, as once I am ramped up I'm very vounerably, and not at all cognisant. I also regress back to about age 2 when I fly sometimes. When I am flying I'm very out of it, I could stumble I could fall and I could hurt myself, Someone else could take advantage of me , if I was groggy enough not to be able to protect myself against them and I was alone.

Of course you may not have realized she was talking about coming out of subspace, and if so well then your reply is more understandabel, and if she's not talking about coming out from subspace when she says closing down well excuse the assumption.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

As far as it being necessary...I don't see why it would be absolutely vital to anyone to close down and what harm staying high could bring. If it makes them happy and doesn't cause conflict with their everyday functioning, then roll with it!

< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 6/20/2008 7:11:00 PM >

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

Post #: 8

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 7:06:10 PM

Chrisdeb7478

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline

depends on the state and various other things going on here. Sometimes there is a need for aftercare and sometimes its just go on with the daily grind

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 9

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 7:09:40 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

Boss and i snuggle. I may be crying, or just at peace....but He wants to know what is in my head.

_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

(in reply to Chrisdeb7478)

Post #: 10

RE: Closing down - 6/20/2008 8:23:20 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If I am ramped up to extreamly high endorphine levels not helping me come down and come back to normalicy in some way will lead to tears and depression and just generally a high level of insatisfaction. When i fly, I need him to help me with it. What you make soar through the sky will have to crash eventually, and it can be very harsh a crash. More so if I don't have the emotional contact and saftey I need. For me, I make it extreamly clear aftercare is needed when playtime is over, if they ignore that they will never play with me again.

It would also lead me to believe my partner didn't care about seeing me through subspace safely, as once I am ramped up I'm very vounerably, and not at all cognisant. I also regress back to about age 2 when I fly sometimes. When I am flying I'm very out of it, I could stumble I could fall and I could hurt myself, Someone else could take advantage of me , if I was groggy enough not to be able to protect myself against them and I was alone.

Of course you may not have realized she was talking about coming out of subspace, and if so well then your reply is more understandabel, and if she's not talking about coming out from subspace when she says closing down well excuse the assumption.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

As far as it being necessary...I don't see why it would be absolutely vital to anyone to close down and what harm staying high could bring. If it makes them happy and doesn't cause conflict with their everyday functioning, then roll with it!

See bolded text. Obviously, if it doesn't make you happy and does cause conflict with your everyday functioning, then clearly you need a "closing down" experience. :P

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 11

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 1:26:29 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

My experience may be different from others because of my bi-polar. I am often in a state of being high as a kite on a drug the world knows nothing of, just because that is my mental state at that time. Whilst it might not be a fullon manic episode upswings and downswings with my condition cause similar states from a brain chemistry and personal handling POV that intense scening does.

I tend not to like too much after care, I want to just be for a bit until I'm back in my head and then a cup of tea and a cuddle is usually all I need, unless we've been mind fucking too and then I need to talk out some of the stuff that's come up in my head and get reassurance that the bad voices are just my insecurities not indications of things he feels.

Obviously everyone's mileage varies but Master has noticed very significant differences in how I process a scene depending on what phase I am in with my bi-polar and that does mean timing certain types of play around this rhythm.

Thank you for a thought provoking thread Prinsexxx.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 12

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 3:26:24 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

My experience may be different from others because of my bi-polar. I am often in a state of being high as a kite on a drug the world knows nothing of, just because that is my mental state at that time. Whilst it might not be a fullon manic episode upswings and downswings with my condition cause similar states from a brain chemistry and personal handling POV that intense scening does.

I tend not to like too much after care, I want to just be for a bit until I'm back in my head and then a cup of tea and a cuddle is usually all I need, unless we've been mind fucking too and then I need to talk out some of the stuff that's come up in my head and get reassurance that the bad voices are just my insecurities not indications of things he feels.

Obviously everyone's mileage varies but Master has noticed very significant differences in how I process a scene depending on what phase I am in with my bi-polar and that does mean timing certain types of play around this rhythm.

Thank you for a thought provoking thread Prinsexxx.

Oh Deliena, such an honest post. I was with somebody on/off for 4/1/2 years who I suspect is Bi-Polar. She's been stubborn about seeking out help.   I was with somebody before her who was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar years after we parted our ways.

The aftercare or lack of having to have it, is and was always was mind blowing to me.   In fact, at times almost to the point as if nothing had happened at all. If anything I was in the process of dealing with a lot of shit inside my head.

It's a little mind blowing to have somebody babbling on about the flavor or lack of flavor in the Bag of Potatoe chips she's mowing down, while you are in the middle of coming down from everything that just happened.   Then having her look at me all funny like I'm the strange or odd one! LOL...

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 13

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 5:14:10 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I can see how that would be difficult for you and it's probably a result of having to process very similar headspaces on a daily basis that makes aftercare something that isn't so necessary for people with that kind of condition.

I will add this though, when dealing with subs, whether I *needed* to process that headspace or not caring for them was important to me and it's a shame that your partner mentioned above didn't put her feelings to one side and consider yours. May you have more mutally satisfying encounters in the future.

The looking at someone else like they're the wierd one - yeah I admit it, I do that a lot, I'm just coming from a different place than them and sometimes I don't 'get it'. That's when communication becomes important.

**edited because I missed a word out completely :)

< Message edited by Deliena -- 6/21/2008 5:23:40 AM >

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 14

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:01:09 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

One word Jan..... beer!

I knew that about you........these fuckin four letter words.....

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to givemyall)

Post #: 15

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:03:39 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

Are there any thoughts on closing down?
The necessity for it?

Prinsexx,

Your term for the mental state, and indeed the physical state in hand and hand with the Dominants responsibility for "after care" While some "D"'s believe in the ride em hard and put em away wet metnod, the caring dom's will recognize the need and do what is necessary be it soft stroking or drawing a warm bath with candles it is a state that needs attention.

CP

You see I don't understand aftercare....I've always felt that change in a D confusing. Therefore I have always thought of aftercare as being my own responsibility.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 16

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:21:21 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
You see I don't understand aftercare....I've always felt that change in a D confusing. Therefore I have always thought of aftercare as being my own responsibility.

I know what you mean when I'm in sub mode I am definitely the one 'tending to myself' if necessary seeking reassurance (physical or emotional) from my Dom but it's my head and I need to deal with it. However, as I said above I do make myself available for my sub if in the D role. Yet another complex switchy dualism! LOL

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 17

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:23:09 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

Obviously everyone's mileage varies but Master has noticed very significant differences in how I process a scene depending on what phase I am in with my bi-polar and that does mean timing certain types of play around this rhythm.

I understand that. i can appear confusing also. It depends more on where I am at in my masochistic cycle. If I am at the all cried out pjase then, although I don't ask being the submissive that I am, I am in need of emotional up-lifting. Once I am up-lifted my need to be humiliated, ignored, separated and so on returns.
Very rarely I just need a closing down period which is similar to the way vanilla folks date......you know go out for a meal, be out together in public. I'm a dinner after girl not a dinner before lol.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 18

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:41:12 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

So we tie you up, beat you, humiliate and distress you, leave you alone for a while. Come back with a tissue and a cuppa, help you pop on some makeup and take you for something to eat? Sounds like a fun date :)

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 19

RE: Closing down - 6/21/2008 10:45:53 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

So we tie you up, beat you, humiliate and distress you, leave you alone for a while. Come back with a tissue and a cuppa, help you pop on some makeup and take you for something to eat? Sounds like a fun date :)

Nah come back and ask me to make the tea silly girl

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Closing down

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094