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Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/20/2008 10:59:28 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		i've done some reading on this subject but i really havent found the particular vein im looking for. please bear with me as im not so good at putting my thoughts to words. i suffer from depression and have my whole life. however, recently i experienced my first (well with someone i was involved with, anyway) "session" (spanking, etc) and found it to be really emotionally freeing as well as stabilizing. i was wondering if any of you have used this as a type of therapy for yourself or your sub? if so, could you please share with me how you accomplished this and why catharsis was needed at the time? sorry.. doing my best here.. its just not clear in my head. anyway... any input would be welcome. Thank you very much.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/20/2008 11:02:21 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		I know what it is you are asking.  Do a search on 'cathartic' and other variations - there were some great threads on it maybe a month and a half ago.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/20/2008 11:20:31 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirlangel

i've done some reading on this subject but i really havent found the particular vein im looking for. please bear with me as im not so good at putting my thoughts to words. i suffer from depression and have my whole life. however, recently i experienced my first (well with someone i was involved with, anyway) "session" (spanking, etc) and found it to be really emotionally freeing as well as stabilizing. i was wondering if any of you have used this as a type of therapy for yourself or your sub? if so, could you please share with me how you accomplished this and why catharsis was needed at the time? sorry.. doing my best here.. its just not clear in my head. anyway... any input would be welcome. Thank you very much.


Hi, babygirlangel.
 
Sorry to hear you suffer from depression...i know many P/pl who have had it as well and it's a bitch and a half.  (i assume we're speaking of clinical depression, not just 'being sad' occassionally.)
 
Depresssion is an illness...you need to be in the care of a talented (and kink-friendly) MD or other medic type.
 
Being ill does not mean you are in any way 'disqualified' from entering a D/s relationship.  But Doms are never going to be a substitute for medical care -- not even Doms who are MDs.
 
It's great that you felt so much joy when you sessioned.  But you and i both know, episodes of joy are not going to 'cure' depression.
 
My only other comment is this: when dating, remember one of your immutable wants/needs from a Dom is that He be capable of understanding, accepting and reacting well to your illness. 
 
There are still plenty of P/pl -- even in D/s -- W/who are ignorant or even bigoted about mood disorders.  This sort of character flaw would -- should -- render a Dom 'unacceptable' to you.
 
Best wishes.
 
pinksugarsub

< Message edited by pinksugarsub -- 6/20/2008 11:22:26 PM >

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/20/2008 11:24:12 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		thank you so much for your input, pinksugarsub. i know its not a "cure" but having a day where its not all i think about is definitely a plus... smiles

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Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/20/2008 11:58:13 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Someone in my family has suffered terribly from depression.  Her doctor told her to excercise as much as possible because the endorphin high can help you pull out of a depression... When you get a good spanking or some other scene where you get that endorphin high, it may be safe to make the same assumption..

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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 12:21:43 AM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		yes, im aware of the benifits of excercise and i do this as often as i can, although due to certain problems i cant as much as i'd like.. but its beyond the endorphins, really.. its about the need to expunge these feelings... 

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Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 1:57:25 AM   
Deliena


Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Well I'm bi-polar and have been ito BDSM since my teens so I have some experience of the sort of cathartic episodes you describe.  Whilst I've never thought of scenes as therapy I have used BDSM to work through some issues for me personally with people I trusted very deeply and it was extremely freeing.  Outside of scening there's still a lot to process and it's not an overnight or miracle cure (particularly for someone with a brain chemistry related disorder rather than episodic depression).

That said if it brings you happiness then it's of the good, and we should all welcome that which is of the good into our lives.  Hope this helps a little.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 6:02:14 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I have had problems with depression for almost 25 years.  There are definitely times when a good session is helpful, and the feeling of belonging has been one of the most healing things I've come across.

However, be careful.  If you have needs that you feel are going unmet you may take it harder than the average person.  If you are like me you may find yourself putting blame on yourself when you've done nothing wrong, and your top was never disappointed. 

One thing that helped me a lot in my relationship was that when my Master would catch me being overly critical of myself He would simply say, "Stop".  That key word was enough to get me back on track through most things, and to step expecting myself to be perfect.  (Being too hard on yourself seems to go hand in hand with most cases of depression.)  Get yourself on medication to help you if you feel that you need it.  Depression often comes in waves, or as my doctor described it, a roller coaster.  There will be times when your brain has enough serotonin and other times it doesn't.

If you want to try an herbal remedy, try St. John's Wort and fish oil capsules.  The combination has worked very well for me.






i


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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 8:51:01 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Intense play can make you feel temporarily better due to the endorphin release. However you cannot assume it will last, it will happen every time, or that it is in any way a long term cure. Additionally it is unfair to any dom to demand he magically become a trained therapist and without such training trying to use bdsm to effect a major personality change in you is potentially damaging to both of you.

Psychodrama is not for amateurs.


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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 9:14:29 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
I understand what you are talking about. There have been a few times when Sir and i have been playing when i have started crying way beyond what was appropriate for the level of play. I don't understand where the emotion comes from , but it obviously was something in my subconscious that was being processed. Afterwards, i have felt quiet and at peace, and very very sleepy. Apparently, its hard work being catharsisisied     (smiles)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
 
                                                                                                         
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
      
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                                            
                                                                                                         
 
 

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 9:18:36 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ah - something happened to my post - i meant to say that i understand what you are talking about. There have been a couple of times when Sir and i have been playing when i have started crying harder than was warranted by the level of play. I think my subconscious was processing, and it came out during play because that is when i am most vulnerable mentally. For the  most part, i have no idea where the emotion came from, or what it was in reference to, but afterwards i have felt calm and relaxed and tired, as if i had been working hard.   And it is also something that isn't prompted. It spontaneously arose.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 9:20:18 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's another quick fix shortcut that does not work long term.
 
Do it correctly-there is no instant gratification.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 11:35:45 AM   
MistressSybella


Posts: 163
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		My last live in female has bipolar disorder. She would truly need "adjustments" once a week or so. When she started getting mouthy, moody or acting out of sync, I would know.  Sometimes, all she would have to do is look at me and I'd know she was spiraling into a "bad" place. I'd say, "Bedroom, NOW." Then, I'd give her a solid beating and all would be well again...for a little while. LOL! This was in addition to her meds and regular psych appointments. But the difference was night and day for her and it delighted me to no end that my care and administrations were necessary for her happiness in such an obvious way.

I can't talk about specific instances where cathartic tears came out without divulging into her personal history. My girl had some trauma in the past and many times over the course of our 3-4 year relationship, we experienced growth. However, the most notable improvement came from the regular beatings and deep subspace rather than the infrequent unexpected tears.

Try to find yourself a sadist for an owner, angel, 'cause it really does help. I'd offer to help you explore that, to see if it really does work for you, but I'm in Oregon. And, I see you are looking for a male anyway. It would not matter to me, as slaves or submissives are genderless in my eyes however, it would only work if you were comfortable.

Miss 'Bella
ServeMeWell

< Message edited by MistressSybella -- 6/21/2008 11:36:14 AM >

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 11:55:19 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i think spankings can be cathartic if they evoke deeply held emotions that were never expressed.  Anything that allws you to let out pent up emotions is cathartic - watching a tear jerker, a loved ones death, exercise, etc. 

Depression, imo is more of a thought disorder than an emotional one.  Change the way you think and react. One example - You get up in the morning, go to brush your teeth, look in the mirror and you sigh saying, "i'm such a miserable wretch and i'm never going to amount to anything in life"  - replace it with "you are beautiful inside and out and there are wonderful place this world will take you to". Even if you don't believe it, feel silly saying it - it doesn't matter - you will change something on a subconscious level and see results (if you truly keep it up) over time.  

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 12:11:35 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I find that good hard play hits the reset buttom for me .. wipes the slate clean
A few months ago I was having a shocker of a week at work, feeling down, we hadn't booked my tickets to the states yet, it was all getting a bit much for me and i was feeling bitchy snicky and uneven. I went out to a club on the friday night  and had the snot beaten out of me. Next night I did the same ... 2am sunday morning I had a huge long droppy cry about my worthlessness and pointlessness to DV who nodded and tried not to sound too bored. Woke up 10 am Sunday morning back to my normal self.
Sir is doing His best to convince me I actually do have a reset button, and that its at the back of my throat, about halfway down ... luckily for me He has something that can reach it. Am almost buying it


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BDSM while coping with mental illness - 6/21/2008 1:40:26 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline 		http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mooddisordersupportdomsub/


This group is for people who are into D/s or S/m while dealing with mood disorders like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, stress related diseases etc. It is more difficult to cope if you feel alone with the problem. Talking with someone going through similar issues can be of help.

This is not intended to be a medical, diagnostic or treatment resource. If you need such resources I strongly urge you to talk to your doctor.
Quite often you may have self help/support resources close to you that you aren't aware of.

Type www.google.com in the address window near the top of your screen and press ENTER on your keyboard. In the search window you can type "mental health self help (then type in your city or town)". You can also type in "mental health clubhouse (city or town)" Don't type the " " or ( ).
If nothing comes up, use your state, province or country.

These resources will be vanilla, so be very clear in your own mind about how much and what to share. The other people in the vanilla resource haven't consented to hear about your kinky life, so respect their choice of lifstyle.

Remember, you have this list to say what you like about your mental wellness and alternative lifestyle.


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RE: BDSM while coping with mental illness - 6/21/2008 1:48:44 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline 		Working in the field of mental health, having my social service work diploma, I find that I am able to use scene as a catharsis for others who trust me. 

It is generally needed by someone who believes they have "screwed up" and no matter how much others try to convince them it is ok, the guilt eats them up.

Having a catharsis scene that goes from where the person perceives themself to be in term of blame and guilt, working through to acceptance and delivering them back to their Dom/me for loving after care and support has been very helpful.

Unfortunately, I also feel the need for catharsis and because of having had it done by people who weren't ready for the emotional fall out and reactions, it has gone badly.  There is only one person in our community I would trust and unfortunately there is a professional relationship that has placed boundaries on how we interact within the lifestyle.

I am still watching for someone who could do it properly, someone I could trust with my life and well being.


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PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

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RE: BDSM while coping with mental illness - 6/21/2008 8:57:48 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for your input on this subject.. its been enlightening.
LadyShoshin, thank you for your very informed advice, i have put in to join the group you posted.
Thank you Miss Bella for your interest ~smiles~.
chamberqueen, what you describe is very like what i go through on a daily basis.
just to restate, i realize this is NOT a magic wand or quick fix. i do not expect any Dom to become an instant psychologist or be able to "fix me". but anything that may help.. is well.. helpful.. dont you think? smiles..
edited to say: LadyShoshin, my sincere hope for you to find someone to give you YOUR catharsis.


< Message edited by babygirlangel -- 6/21/2008 8:59:38 PM >

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Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 9:52:02 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The real issue I have with this thing are the possibilities of doing much more harm than good. I still think you are far better off seeking help from a professional-than placing something this important in the hands of an amatuer-no matter how well meant.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: Therapeutic Catharsis - 6/21/2008 10:33:47 PM   
babygirlangel


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Leatherist, i've been through many many years of therapy... it never helps.. they dont understand the issues and can only give group therapy which isnt beneficial. therefore im looking for other ways to handle things.. even if temporarily.. thanks for your concern.

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Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me, Because of you I am afraid...

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