RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (Full Version)

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popeye1250 -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 2:17:56 PM)

Katy, GP, being polite and having manners *never* goes out of fashion.
And I like the courtship part too.
It's the foundation to a good relationship.




cjan -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 2:41:43 PM)

Courtship ? Oh, you mean when we hit you over the head wif a club and drag you by your hair off to the cave ? *Grunts*




KatyLied -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 2:46:32 PM)

cjan, dudes who excel at oral should let their tongue and lips speak for themselves, perhaps they can receive a hall pass on the tougher parts of courtship.    [:D]




cjan -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 2:50:09 PM)

Agreed, katy. Excellence in certain matters, for both genders, go a long way towards tolerance of other "faults".




stella41b -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 3:09:44 PM)

Here we go again.... This happens time after time after time after time.. I'm actually surprised that this doesn't bore the pants off some people.

My first point is how come we've got to D/s already on the basis of exchange of e-mails and chatroom conversations? I'm sorry, I don't see no predators, I don't even see control issues here, I just see two people who encountered each other, tried to communicate and start some sort of interaction between each other, and failed for whatever reason (I'm neutral here).

quote:



Never make an emotional investment -- no matter how modest -- in a Man you've never met in real life.



Oh right, so if it doesn't work out with one man, or for that matter 200, then all men aren't worth it?

Two things. Firstly I look back on my life and near on 42 years of living and what do I see? I'll tell you what I see, I see about 70% of my life as being failure, cock-ups, mistakes, delusions, illusions, attempts to start the wrong friendships, the wrong relationships, being my own worst enemy, trying to please everyone, refusing to see reason, deceiving myself and not properly understanding the people and things around me.

The remaining 30% accounts for the successes, the friendships that lasted, the relationships which came and went but left a lot of happy memories, things I've learned, people I've met, places I've been, things I've learned how to do, knowledge, awareness, being able to see things from different perspectives, and basically learning to overcome and master my own stupidity.

This leads me to draw various conclusions. Life is hard, it's often unfair and most importantly, it's very short and ends when you least expect it. The older you get the less you can do and the less you're prepared to accept. Wisdom doesn't come cheap. Life requires effort, but you know, if you make that effort you're living, so why worry?

Another thing, relationships happen because the right person comes at the right time in the right circumstances and you both find the right words to communicate.

It requires luck, it really does. But then again you can make your own luck. Doesn't matter if you have good fortune or bad, the chances are that you are the one who is engineering it.

I'm sitting here wondering why am I writing this? Is it me, or is it some of the other people I come across?

You see the Internet is brilliant, best thing since sliced bread, but the downside is it sends a lot of people doo-lalley. You get the first group of people who just throw common sense and caution to the wind, and they're there, they just go straight in there and jump in with both feet. I bet a lot of them have got friends and family who know them shaking their heads and trying to prevent the ensuing drama, but no, this is THE ONE, the Messiah, the one who turns a life right round. And then, as sure as when you switch on your telly, there's drama. I've been there a few times, done it, got the T-shirt.

Then you get the second group of people, many of who have gone through the above, and it hasn't worked, or it won't work for them. 'Ah' they're fond of saying, 'Online isn't real time'. They're sceptical, suspicious, some are prone to jump to conclusions. The first sign of a red flag that's it, block, delete, and basically piss off I don't want to know you any more. A few of them even go on about living virtually but spend a lot of time online themselves, trapped in their own world of preconceived notions, generalizations and hasty judgments on other people. Been here too, done this, got the T-shirt.

I don't see this as an emotional investment so much - well it is to some degree - but more giving someone a chance, an opportunity. Most online encounters don't work out anyway, but there are those which do, and there are also people who can make online encounters work. But you don't start anything with anyone if you don't give them a chance.

And to me the next person deserves just as much of a chance as the last person. Giving chances is important, it leads to opportunities. Not every opportunity comes back a second time, not even in the rest of your life.




FirmhandKY -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 4:11:47 PM)

Damn, stella!

There are a lot of things that you post that I'm suspicious of, or flat out disagree with.

But this post ... this post is an absolute jewel of wisdom and common sense.

kudos to you.

Firm




LeatherMasterKY -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 7:46:10 PM)

Everybody likes chatty subs.
I know. (from experience.)

screw 'em if he can't be available to you.




Bethnai -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 8:00:27 PM)

RS-that rocked. It did.










Aileen1968 -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/21/2008 9:23:24 PM)

WTF.  Did Y/you change Y/your name again???
If Y/you want to be technically correct Y/you should really be purpleyplum since Y/you now use purple font.




Sundowner -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 3:35:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkieplum

everhope, i have terrific intuitive skills.  A great bullsh*t meter. A very reliable 'gut check'.  Hell, i even have 'the sixth sense'.  My problem is none of them is any use

... in helping me understand that everyone else here finds my preference for pink plus my slashy text habit (plus often my post content) an absolute pain. Otherwise I'd keep my unique personality, my opinions and my contributions (and at times my helpful manner) all intact - I'd just present them differently in a way which commanded respect rather than contempt.

pinkieplum




pinkieplum -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 3:50:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator

Holy crap! Imagine that a guy who doesnt call! Thats unheard of....NOT! Just FYI, there are three things that come out of a mans mouth that should be considered a lie unless proven otherwise...

1) Ill call you.
2) I wont cum in your mouth.
3) Im not interested in any other women!

It has nothing to do with whether hes a dom or not or whether hes online or not. I dispute the validity of you assertion "Now i know He's not really a Dom -- a Dom does not run and hide when a submissive says 'i have an unmet want/need, Sir'."  He may very well be a dom, and hes neither running nor hiding he is just "blowing you off" as men will do when you have either pissed them off or they have lost interest or decided that "colatteral drama" exceeds the value of the pussy offered.  
 
Sorry but as Im sure any guy with the balls to admit it will tell you, thats the way it is. We have been doing it from middle school onwards... Men unexplicably blowing women off is what keeps Haagen Daz in business... LOL




<Smacks forehead>  Crickey i totally forgot about this, DomAviator. It's the most likely explanation of what happened.
 
Thanks.
 
pinkieplum




pinkieplum -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 4:26:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bethnai

I wouldn't call it a date either. I wouldn't go so far as to say he isn't a Dom. A mis-match perhaps. I am not negating your red-flag. 

I think chatting on line offers some valuable insights that one can get from another. We'll pretend that the person is real and male and all of that. Never the full picture, but had you met in person it might have taken twice as long.

So, maybe you need to just pat yourself on the back.  I wouldn't say that you failed by investing a little emotionally. If you risk nothing, you get nothing. Maybe your at a point at your life where you can say to yourself that you recognize that some things may be fine for you now in a person but not so much later on down the road.  Good for you. Some people would prefer to repeat the same mistake over and over again. Not you, you were able to withdraw before hand. If I was deeply into cosmic crap, I would say maybe it was a test.  Maybe its key to wonder if a good portion of your personality and your life is visible (sp?). I dated a man that talked all the time. Initially, I thought it was great because I didn't have to try to find crap to talk about-then he wouldn't shut up. Ever. The curb.

I would never say this was your thing or problem but for me, I used to never discuss family matters, work or the hundred and one "impolite" things one does not discuss.  What I learned over time is that people do not like empty spaces and they will fill it for you. I graduated last year and got so drunk that I got a ride home from a friend of mine and he had been drinking so it was decided that he would sleep on the couch. In my living room are pictures of my family but because they live in other states nobody sees or knows the relationships.  He was shocked that I had a family.  Apparantly, I was hatched.  With some people it isn't on the radar until you interject with something or anything. Is there anything that you could have done differently, forget "polite" but not"rude" that said "HEY-I AM"? You were fearless emotionally. Were you fearless with portraying yourself?


Laffs @ 'hatched'.  It never ceases to amaze me what some P/pl will assume -- it's as if T/their brains automatically 'fill in the blanks' if T/they have no data.
 
i dunno how to answer yr last question, Bethnai.  It's true He was quite the story-teller and i really enjoyed listening to Him.
 
i spoke up from time to time --'hey, i need to discuss s'thing' -- which W/we all know was unsuccessful -- and i also tried to 'inject' myself into the convo -- but that wasn't working.  He just talked over me.
 
i'm just chalking the whole thing up to 'live and learn'.
 
pinkieplum




CalifChick -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 8:28:35 AM)

Maybe he didn't understand what "sthing" was, or thought it was a lisp.

Cali




christine1 -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 8:29:49 AM)

um, is pinkieplum and pingsugarsub the same?  (i'm quick sometimes like that rofl)




pinkieplum -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 8:40:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

WTF.  Did Y/you change Y/your name again???
If Y/you want to be technically correct Y/you should really be purpleyplum since Y/you now use purple font.


Yes i morphed nicks.  If this is upsetting to you, either your life is so fabulous that even a broken nail is an emergency, or you are allowing yourself to get worked up over pixels on yor pc screen. 
 
As for the pink font; well, that has been gone quite awhile.  Along with the size 4 font.  i miss them both....but i felt S/ome P/pl were being truthful about having vision problems.  i have some of my own -- one reason i liked the size 4 font it because it was easier for me to read.
 
pinkieplum
 




pinkieplum -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 8:45:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkieplum

everhope, i have terrific intuitive skills.  A great bullsh*t meter. A very reliable 'gut check'.  Hell, i even have 'the sixth sense'.  My problem is none of them is any use

... in helping me understand that everyone else here finds my preference for pink plus my slashy text habit (plus often my post content) an absolute pain. Otherwise I'd keep my unique personality, my opinions and my contributions (and at times my helpful manner) all intact - I'd just present them differently in a way which commanded respect rather than contempt.

pinkieplum



Humm. interesting, Sundowner.
 
You feel comfortable speaking for 'everyone' do You?
 
You hold me in contempt merely because You dislike the appearance of my posts?
 
There're really aren't that M/many P/pl i could say i 'hold in contempt'; but when it's happened, it's because of something T/they did in real life.
 
pinkieplum




pinkieplum -> RE: A Story of the Perils of Dating Doms (6/22/2008 8:49:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

um, is pinkieplum and pingsugarsub the same?  (i'm quick sometimes like that rofl)


Yes christine, i'm still me. i morphed my nick..and i posted about it in 'Introductions' but i guess it's not widely read.
 
i'm sorry if you were confused.
 
pinkieplum




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