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for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 11:14:45 AM

chicagoleo

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Joined: 5/21/2005
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who you first 'met' online, either through this site or another: approximately how long did you, or do you, wait from the point of meeting online to meeting in person?

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 11:27:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Some I met the next day, some I didn't meet for months.

Depends on how far we go, how we feel, how practical it is and what's going on.

What time frame do you generally set for meeting an online contact?

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 11:33:46 AM

OrlandoMars

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Joined: 7/7/2005
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I haven't met anybody in particular from here but have from other sites and I can honestly say that there are no rules. Partially, it depends on how close they are to me, if they are close enough to drive then chances are that we will meet sooner. If not, then it takes long enough to establish that a journey won't be wasted by either side and that we both feel comfortable. Expectations should be clearly communicated up front - I have either flown to or brought people to me who I found interesting but with nothing more than a platonic expectation. Sometimes that leads to more, sometimes it doesn't. One thing I do suggest is to not be too pushy - different people have different comfort levels and nothing can doom a potential visit more than constant questions about when it is going to happen.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 11:33:55 AM

FangsNfeet

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Pet and I chatted and talked on the phone for about a month before meeting. We had already exchanged pics and web cam. The only thing left to do was acctually meet. So we met in a public setting and then went from there.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 11:35:33 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
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From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chicagoleo

who you first 'met' online, either through this site or another: approximately how long did you, or do you, wait from the point of meeting online to meeting in person?

I first met about 20 people, men and women and with some of them I was sitting and having coffee after a week or less.

After being a year or so online and chatting I met my husband and after 3 weeks we met in live. But that was not really easy for he lived 1500 km from me in another country. So I took the bus, made couple of excuses to my family and my boss and hit the road..... took me about week to arrange everything.
We spent 10 days together, then I went back home, he came down there for Christmass and we were 15 days together again, a month later I moved with him to stay.
All together 3 months from seeing his nickname for the first time in a chatroom till moving to live together. Year later we got married officially.

I dont care about waiting "proper time" till I meet someone in person - I may chat for couple of hours and if the person is close by I may say "Look, lets get off the f**** chat and discuss things in live over a drink". I even had sort of one night stand with a guy I just met - we happened to live in the same town (he became a pest after that so I had to dismiss him quite brutally).
I go by my first feeling about someone, being in virtual or "real" world, and so far it never let me down.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 12:53:15 PM

tasha_tart

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Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
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After about a month of chatting off and on, I had lunch with three Dommes. They were the first people I met in this part of my life, and they remain friends.

On the other hand, there are people with whom I've been trying to get together with for ages, but it just hasn't come together...shift schedules, children visiting, distance...yada, yada, yada.

Tasha

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:11:00 PM

sub4hire

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From hour's to year's. Each person was different. I met my dom in a vanilla chat room. It was 3 month's before we had our first face to face meeting.

However, I've recently met many collarme people at my munch lately. We had 4 new people this month alone. So, that's why I say it could be hours.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:19:33 PM

Faramir

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One to two weeks.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:22:14 PM

candystripper

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i guess i have met maybe four Men; had a relationship with 2; one an abrupt 3 week "incident" i regret; a second with a Man i cared very much for, but there was no sex or play. Not entirely satisfying, but i had hopes we could work that out -- when He abruptly and without explanation withdrew. My Men friends think He was cheating "light", LOL. Who knows?

The other 2 men i met, i knew i did not wish to pursue things further. One was just altogether unsettling; and the other was not truthful -- turned out that public records showed he and his wife owned property together. *sigh*. i do not regret the meeting; the time; etc. i regret i was lied to; and that until i had some concrete information, i did believe him.

i suppose now i am at the "trust but verify" stage; i would not need as much information to meet for coffee as i would need for being intimate.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/4/2005 1:23:06 PM >

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:22:59 PM

ExistentialSteel

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Nano seconds.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:24:36 PM

Littlepita

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When my Sir and I meet for the first time we will have had 10 months together online. We are going away for a week and if all is good we are going to make it forever. :)

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(in reply to candystripper)

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 1:26:53 PM

fts2005

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i think it was 2 weeks from the day He sent me that first message on here that we met in person for lunch.

but it started with a couple letters during the day, then several, then im'ing every night for at least an hour and now phone calls added in throughout the day when possible. of course i'm also leaving here in 2 hours to go spend the weekend with Him <smile>...now if i can only get my nervousness under control i'll be fine <laughing>.

~ r ~

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 7:42:46 PM

LadiesBladewing

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For the ones that we've chosen to meet, usually within a week. First meetings are -always- in a vanilla, public venue, usually over brunch or lunch. Of these, less than 5% made it past one meeting. Of that 5%, only ONE in 5 years has made it far enough to make it into a training collar--good things come to those who wait. *chuckles*

Lady Zephyr

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 11/4/2005 7:44:13 PM >

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 7:57:48 PM

KittenWithaTwist

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Depends on the person and what kind of relationship we're interested in pursuing. If it's someone I would like to play with or date and they live close by, I'll usually do a week or less of online chat and then ask if they'd like to meet for coffee. If they don't live close by, then I'll wait until we have a closer connection and then go visit or have them visit me. If it's a friend, there's no time frame. It's a whenever situation.

However, it took me three years to meet my dominant partner. I moved in with him the same day we met. But I wouldn't necessarily recommend this approach :P.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 8:52:33 PM

LordGntlFntsy

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I have met one person from this site after talking with them through the website and through a chat service online for about 2 weeks. We met strictly under vanilla conditions and had safecalls in place for both of Us. The safecalls make a huge difference in the safety feeling when meeting someone for the first time.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 9:05:00 PM

girl4you2

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for the last one, it was a couple of months before we met in the fast lane, so to speak. for others, it has been from a few months to more. and i echo the comment about not pushing. comfort levels differ with each person and/or pairing.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 9:17:46 PM

MistressYlwa

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I think it is entirely up to you. Do you feel comfortable, after chatting? Do you want to have a more personal conversation, by phone, before meeting?

Distance is also a consideration. If someone is close and I feel comfortable, I will meet them for coffee. If they leave a great distance from me, then phone and chat for a while. Make sure that we are on the same page. Then arrange to meet for a weekend.

I usually chat a day or two before meeting someone nearby. I like a few weeks with someone who is farther away. Only because it has to feel right, considering the distance involved. But as I said before, its up to you as to when you feel its right.

Good luck

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to chicagoleo)

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/4/2005 10:08:09 PM

Lordandmaster

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I don't think you should wait too long if you really think you have a connection with the person. The sooner you find out whether you click face-to-face, the better.

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/5/2005 4:07:47 AM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't think you should wait too long if you really think you have a connection with the person. The sooner you find out whether you click face-to-face, the better.

I think you're on the money Lam...

- The Ranger

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RE: for those of you who have met people who - 11/5/2005 4:37:20 AM

tigress31047

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As others have said, schedules, distance, families all play a part in how long a meet takes to happen..I have met several Doms within a week or two. Some for just coffee and talk , others for play. Just depends on the people involed and the amount of click. There is a Dom I met on a vanilla site that i have been talking to daily for 5 months now. We have not as of yet met but it is in the works . i think it will be the best meet yet as we have taken the time to know each other more .

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

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