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Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 8:55:17 PM

DaddyMastersgirl

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

Going from masterbating about your kinks to making them come true. How and what did you do?

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 9:03:43 PM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

Take it slow, be patience, be honest with yourself and those you encounter. Make a list of things that you enjoy but realize that not everything that seems fun will be fun. You may find that you do enjoy somethings while others you simply hate.

Blessed be,
Nika

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Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 9:03:53 PM

d1ll1gaf

Posts: 33
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline

Simple. Learned to be open about my desires in relationships.

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 9:05:35 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have never seen a reason not to enjoy my kinks. I have been pursuing them in my relationships since I started having relationships...
So, essentally I got to age of consent.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to d1ll1gaf)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 10:06:29 PM

NeedingMore220

Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

I did a lot of reading. I probably started out at literotica.com, which is a site for erotic stories. It's a alot of fantasy, but it was a place to start, when I realized that there were others that felt like me. lol I started searching google for terms like 'bdsm' and reading blogs and articles, etc. I started questioning myself, feeling myself out to see where I fit in, what felt right to me and what it is that I wanted. That process took probably a year. Then I found CM and started reading forums, got a profile, and went from there ...

Your profile indicates you are looking to move slowly, and I think that's a good idea. Best of luck to you!

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 10:09:46 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

Going from masterbating about your kinks to making them come true. How and what did you do?

I insisted I capture the man I thought had the power to make me feel weak and tingly. So I did.

(in reply to NeedingMore220)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 10:20:13 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

and whats wrong with masturbating ?

Heck i just live , find others with common interests ,go to gatherings and events and jump in the kinky jello filled pool .

(in reply to came4U)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/21/2008 10:28:54 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Found someone and gave them what they wanted. Funny how that works.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 12:13:49 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5173
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

To going from masturbating to making my fantasies come true, i went to munch, events, and found a partner.

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 12:29:00 AM

shivermetimbers

Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

I met someone (not a domme, sub, anyone into BDSM) who had a very particular fantasy she wanted fulfilled. It went way further than intended. But some of what did happen were masturbatory fantasies that came to real life, though I can honestly say, without having my specific consent of some of the activities that occured. Though that may sound abusive, not giving consent, and actually saying "no" at some points but being forced to go through with them, were more in line with my mind melding with my dick stroking late at night. So some of those fantasies were made real, and they were much better real. It was the night that brought me into this realm, if you will. So basically, how I did it was start out fulfilling someone elses fantasies, and what I did was learn to enjoy the fact that fantasies that were unintended to be fulfilled, were better, because they turned out to be ones I had.

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I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

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(in reply to peppermint)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 12:56:50 AM

VioletAshes

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220

I did a lot of reading. I probably started out at literotica.com, which is a site for erotic stories. It's a alot of fantasy, but it was a place to start, when I realized that there were others that felt like me. lol I started searching google for terms like 'bdsm' and reading blogs and articles, etc. I started questioning myself, feeling myself out to see where I fit in, what felt right to me and what it is that I wanted. That process took probably a year. Then I found CM and started reading forums, got a profile, and went from there ...

Your profile indicates you are looking to move slowly, and I think that's a good idea. Best of luck to you!

Same here...

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"I'm not like other girls that you know
but I believe I'm worth coming home to"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(in reply to NeedingMore220)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 1:05:03 AM

summersprite

Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220

I did a lot of reading. I probably started out at literotica.com, which is a site for erotic stories. It's a alot of fantasy, but it was a place to start, when I realized that there were others that felt like me. lol I started searching google for terms like 'bdsm' and reading blogs and articles, etc. I started questioning myself, feeling myself out to see where I fit in, what felt right to me and what it is that I wanted. That process took probably a year. Then I found CM and started reading forums, got a profile, and went from there ...

Your profile indicates you are looking to move slowly, and I think that's a good idea. Best of luck to you!

I read literotica too ;-)
I realised long ago when my friends were fantasising about sex on a lovely tropical beach with Brad Pitt.... and I was thinking about being gagged, spanked and fucked quite brutally up the arse.... that my fantasies were not the same as theirs.
When I saw a very interesting profile on a vanilla dating site that was 'oh so not vanilla' I saved it for 4 months before I got the courage up to approach him.... the rest is documented in my journal. I had no idea I could ever find someone this wonderful....

(in reply to NeedingMore220)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 2:13:30 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

I was dancing at a goth club in Leeds and a guy came over to talk to me, took me back to his place and beat the living daylights out of me. I loved every second. He apparently spotted in me something I'd fantasised about but never been able to ask for or knew where to look for. He introduced me to the local scene and I never looked back.

(in reply to summersprite)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 3:37:06 AM

TMIk

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: New York
Status: offline

Met the right guy. We're very open with each other. Honesty is very important..
*Kristi*

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You've crossed the walls - Excelled
Further along through their hell
All for my heart, I watch you kill
You always have, you always will
Now spread your wings and sail out to me
~Deftones

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 6:02:39 AM

DominantJenny

Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

FR

Exit to Eden gave me a hint. When I got on the internet, that was the first thing I started looking for...people who were like me (or, rather, the counterpart to me) this way. I found websites and a chat room. Then I brought the subject up to my spouse of about a year and he agreed to explore and we were off and running...plenty of stumbles and such along the way, mind you, but it's some 12 years later and going strong.

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 6:12:09 AM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Well, here's an "old school" technique: I answered an ad in a contact paper. (There were like CM, except they aren't on the internet... they were actually printed, like a regular newspaper.) The Domme I was interested in and I wrote letters back and forth, and then a phone call, and finally we met for lunch, and then she took me back to her house and worked me over to within an inch of my life. (Yay!)

(in reply to DominantJenny)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 6:14:13 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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One of the great revelations of my life was discovering that women love sex as much as men do. From that day onwards, making my kinks come true was just a matter of going out and making it happen.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyMastersgirl

Going from masterbating about your kinks to making them come true. How and what did you do?

(in reply to DaddyMastersgirl)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 6:20:46 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

To brutally honest, everything naturally started to fall into place. I had things that I was masterbating about to death. Then amazing thing is when find you and another person has similar interests in things.   Just taking things at a natural pace, talking about a lot of things and doing them talking afterwards.

I've done a lot of things, and there are things I still want to do.   Yes, I still have unfillfulled masterbation kinks.  I still masterbate over some things I enjoy and have done as well.

I've had a few people encourage me to simply find a play partner to try a few of my unfillfulled kinks out with.   I've been debating about that, since I don't know how honestly they are going to sit with me after doing them.   If I Love them just as much as I love thinking about them and masterbating myself senseless over, OK.. new thing to add my Enjoys List.

Takes time to fully explore your kinks, at times new kinks result from trying things. Limits tend to naturally get worked past. Some limits remain the same regardless.

If anything else, if you have a kink that you are not certain about doing, and you have partner that feels the same way. It's nice to talk nasty about doing that kink while in the middle of playing.

Basically some kinks, it's just a matter of mentally sharing them with another person, both getting turned on to no end.   Call it two people fucking while sharing the same fantasy verbally with one another.   Always Hot to do!

Find a partner with similar interest and mindset.

I will stress this time and time again, find somebody you get a long with, somebody with mutual interests.   At least somebody who will take into account your interests as well as their own.

Don't be a sucker for anybody's one wayesm.   If they are telling you, you are not a true or real submissive. Fuck it, move onto some other guy. Keep looking.

Submission is something pretty natural, not something taken by force nor can one simply mindless demand it.

Get to know the person you are dealing with. Allow them to get to know you. If they don't seem like they care anything about you or don't want to let you get to know them. Fuck it, move onto somebody else.

You want your experiences to be somewhat sane, nice and rememberable. You also are going to be faced with perhaps mental and emotions issue when actually Living out your Kinky Fantasies for the first time.   Best thing to avoid Heartless Bastards that could give a shit less about you, unless that's all part of your kink.

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 6:58:55 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I always thought my fantasys were just that - fantasys - until one day, i put a profile on a vanilla site, and the reply asked me how i would feel about ........
I didn't realise that people really did these things - and enjoyed them. I went on the internet , found collarme, put up a profile and met with the first dom that suggested it, and i haven't left him . Its been 2 1/2 years and i love it.
I have found out so much about my self - i am a very sexual being in bdsm, whereas in my other life i always thought i was not high on the sexual scale. Not frigid but not a nympho either. I am not a competative person, and i find in bdsm a way to have a relationship where i am not being taken advantage of - and if you think that sounds strange you are right, but in a formal master/slave relationship there is a structure that ensures fairness in all things, because the important things are discussed before hand.

i realise that finding the right person is paramount, and the search may be arduous, but what fun in the search!

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

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RE: Tell me about... - 6/22/2008 1:57:23 PM

charlie63

Posts: 36
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline

Started surfing the Internet and reading everything I could find. Started writing about my thoughts in a journal, just to clarify for myself what I thought I wanted. Found CM, read the boards for awhile, then posted that I was looking for a Dom. Explored some ideas with a couple of people via e-mail, then was lucky enough to catch His eye. He is so great at helping me explore, and it's been a wonderful experience so far. Good luck and have fun!

(in reply to kiwisub12)

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