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RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/24/2008 5:54:37 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am pretty much a "no second chances" person. Of course, I tend to stay in ... attachments longer than I should in the first place ...

Oh, shit! That's me, too. It's like you held up a mirror.

Once I connect, I give someone second (and more) chances. By the time it's done, it's D-O-N-E.

Mss

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RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/24/2008 7:03:47 PM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
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It's early days to say yet how the longer haul will work out. I had a developing relationship with a sub which he suddenly felt uncomfortable going forward with, and cancelled a plan for a second and longer visit. Several weeks later he returned, asking to return to the status quo ante (as we were). At that time, I told him a simple no. Some weeks further along, he made contact again, petitioning me most sincerely, and acknowledging that I was perfectly within my rights to tell him no a second time.

I decided to discuss it with him, and we spoke on the phone; I asked him exactly what he had meant, and felt when he wrote it, by the brief messages he had written before. Turned out, what he'd written was not at all what he'd been feeling. Once that miscommunication was dealt with, I agreed to take him back, on a probationary status.

His much postponed second visit was a considerable success. We shall see where it all goes in the longer haul.

Lady Delilah Deb

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RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/24/2008 8:28:51 PM

TNstepsout

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I've not really had the situation arise, so I can't say for certain. I know when emotions are involved it's not as easy but I tend to think I would be a "no second chance" kind of person. If things were going bad I would have already given 2nd chances and done everything I could before ending a relationship. I give these kinds of decisions a great deal of thought, so once I make up my mind, I'm not likely to change it.

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Post #: 23

RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/24/2008 8:37:16 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Hi TexasMaam, call me jaded, but I have a rule of never
going backwards.

Unless, the person can show me in deed and actions how they have changed,
and how our relationship will be different, my answer is no.

When I was younger the answer would have been yes, over 40 the answer
is no.
But everyone is different, if you decide to go for Take two, let us know if it works.

My whole life... I only had one absolute spoken rule. if we break up I won't go back out with that person.
I broke that rule 2 times in my life. and each realtionship lasted for several years... so I'm happy I did. but I also know that those 2 times were extrordinary exceptions.

it is something that served me well. Mz Mia, I don't think its being Jaded...lifes short. learn from mistakes. ( like the Never go backwards wording.)

Cheers
Skully

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Post #: 24

RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/24/2008 9:09:19 PM

MzMia

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Joined: 7/30/2004
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I actually agree Skully, but I have had too many that want to
"come back" or another chance.
I am open to a friendship, but I will not try the romantic route again.

I did it plenty of times in my youth!
I am over 40 now, been there, done that, got the
T-shirt!
I will let you and the others carry on for me.

For those that want to give 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances go for it!
It is just not FOR me!

I am going forwards not backwards!
Like Lady Hugs, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/24/2008 9:13:50 PM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/27/2008 4:01:14 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Question for Dommes and subs:

Have you ever had a sub who didn't work out for whatever reason, who later returned and requested another try?

Have you ever been a sub whose relationship w his Domme didn't work out for one reason or another, then went back to request another go?

How did things turn out?

I'm just curious and looking forward to a few sincere posts.

TexasMaam

I can tell you right now that, if clip showed up on My doorstep today, I would most certainly 'take him back'. However, that situation is unique to him. It was not an infraction that separated us. It was merely circumstance.

For anyone else, I would most certainly have to say no. There was always something else that was a barrier that would have prevented it. I'm not big on second chances. There would have to be something extraordinary for it to happen.

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RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/27/2008 5:21:50 AM

chezzy71

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
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My thought is,if one is being trained in the ways of a Domina,then they should give their all the very first time around.It may not be right 100% of the time,but if the effort is always there and Domina is well aware of the ffort and how focused the individual is on really trying to do everything correctly,then there shouldn't be a parting of the ways.With that said,i can understand where certain aspects of real life doesn't allow the relationship to blossom as one would desire.I am also understanding of being given that second chance in the hopes that all can be worked out.

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Post #: 27

RE: Take Two: The Return - 6/27/2008 5:38:00 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Of course, I tend to stay in ... attachments longer than I should in the first place ...

OK this is Me too! I've thought a lot about it and I think a large part of it is wanting to avoid failure. That was certainly the case with My first hubby ... so we agree we had 10 years of heaven and 5 of hell because neither of us wanted to admit failure!

Hubby 2 ... for some insane reason I went by the "3 strikes and you're out" rule ... yes yes, I know the second time more fool me thing! He was very convincing about wanting to change, it was what he said the first night we dated! Unfortunately he never actually did as in put it into practice. All talk and no action! He would have only got 2 tries ... but the third time he begged to be My sub, ie a whole new dynamic. I thought that if anything held the prospect of facilitating change this lifestyle might ... so he got his 3rd chance. Never again!

The older I get though, the less likely I am to give more chances, unless, as in LPs case, the parting is due to external circumstances. Maybe at last, I am getting rid of My "lame duck rescuer" syndrome!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 28