-=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (Full Version)

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ResidentSadist -> -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 9:48:18 PM)

-=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=-

Even in the very beginnings of a power exchange relationship, when you don't “trust each other with your lives” yet, nothing in the emotional connection can be private.  Not one fear, lust, kink or emotion can be withheld in the beginning if you plan to succeed.  You may not have each other's banking information at that point but, nothing is secret when relevant to exposing who you are, what you want, how you feel or what you do. 

To exchange control, you both must expose yourselves in order to learn.  How can you start a power exchange if you don't know what makes the other person tic, what power to give or take?  There can be no secrets, especially if it conflicts with paying respect to the bond.  Neither Master nor slave can hold secrets or limit exposure if they are to succeed.  There must be complete exposure.  Treat the power exchange with respect, remain exposed and steadfast in your roles.

-Kalon Eric

Just saying…

(part of my random BDSM philosophy for the masses) 



ownedgirlie -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 10:02:45 PM)

Are you saying this is how everyone should be?  My Master exposes what he wishes, when he wishes.  While I appreciate that this works for you and for many, I would not agree with this as a universal law.



ResidentSadist -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 10:06:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Are you saying this is how everyone should be?  My Master exposes what he wishes, when he wishes.  While I appreciate that this works for you and for many, I would not agree with this as a universal law.

This is a very functional method of starting that works for most people.  I don’t think I could ever type up all he variants that also work. 



ownedgirlie -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 10:07:22 PM)

Thanks for clarifying.  :)



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 10:14:16 PM)

When you speak in absolutes, you leave yourself wide open to criticism.  I don't believe there *can* be complete exposure, perhaps not ever. 

I've never thought of what the "formula" for power exchange would be, but I would say that a desire and willingness to be transparent for the submissive would be primary and being trustworthy and ethical has to be apparent in me.   What has worked for me before is that the submissive person has been willing to give very early on, in first conversations.  From there, I need to show that I am a person they feel sane handing themselves over to.

Mss



ResidentSadist -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 10:14:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Thanks for clarifying.  :)

I don't have my usual disclaimer in my signature which states “My posts are from a TPE perspective.  They do not imply that my view is correct for you or better than own.”

As far as this method of exposure and learning, it bonds people quickly and successfully.  I post because so many newcomers do not know that exposure is NOT a lack of respect.  A lot a married and cheating or wannabees hide behind respect to keep the secrets that exposure reveals.



brightspot -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 11:33:34 PM)

Maybe you should go for the record and fill CM with all the bullshit
you can[sm=AttentionWhore.gif].
 
I-yi-yi-yi-yi!!!!




Leatherist -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 11:41:06 PM)

Is this "one twue way day"?



Prinsexx -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/22/2008 11:44:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

-=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=-
yet, nothing in the emotional connection can be private. 


I think it takrs trust to disclose. So am I right in thinking you are saying it is disclosure that creates trust?
It's a bit of a chicken and egg siituation............



figment -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 12:00:56 AM)

I would not be trusting someone who had not shown worthiness of trust, just quietly.

Time is an important factor in developing trust.  I dont think this can be rushed.



Prinsexx -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 12:30:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
A lot a married and cheating or wannabees hide behind respect to keep the secrets that exposure reveals.

Ok, maybe....always maybes, but TPE may take a lifetime to perfect. There are life changes which simply happen which mitigate against full disclosure because in many situations one  or both of the TPE participants is unaware of full implications of that life change. I am ralking stuff like illness, accident, birth, economic crashes, death of a family member and so on....all the Holmes and Rahe stuff from which none of us escape. Now those life changes might not have formed part of the TPE to begin with but sure as hell can shift the whole dynamic. No relationships vanilla or TPE are immune from stuff like that.
I mean, for example, how do you disclose split allegiances early on at the beginning? Things like I am sorry but I have a mother who is dying, or my ex needs my support or one of my kids is very sick etc? Shit happens.



MissEnchanted -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 2:59:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: figment

I would not be trusting someone who had not shown worthiness of trust, just quietly.

Time is an important factor in developing trust.  I dont think this can be rushed.


Yep.....



Level -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:16:40 AM)

Openess, as total as possible, is one of my highest goals. A good book to read on the subject is Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton.



sirsholly -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:22:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Openess, as total as possible, is one of my highest goals. A good book to read on the subject is Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton.


psst...Level...if she ever asks you "Does this make me look fat?" radical honesty will result in serious bodily injury.  Just sayin'



Level -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:26:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Openess, as total as possible, is one of my highest goals. A good book to read on the subject is Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton.


psst...Level...if she ever asks you "Does this make me look fat?" radical honesty will result in serious bodily injury.  Just sayin'



Don't you just ask her "define 'fat'"? [8D]
 
But no, I wouldn't hurt her for asking me that,  holly. [X(]



sirsholly -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:29:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Openess, as total as possible, is one of my highest goals. A good book to read on the subject is Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton.


psst...Level...if she ever asks you "Does this make me look fat?" radical honesty will result in serious bodily injury.  Just sayin'



Don't you just ask her "define 'fat'"? [8D]
 
But no, I wouldn't hurt her for asking me that,  holly. [X(]


[8|]
*prays for strength*

No Level...you do NOT ask her to define fat...you DENY fat with your dying breath (and it just might be if you screw it up).

And it is YOU that will be on the injured list...not her..



Level -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:38:48 AM)

Maybe female submissives should be ball-gagged when dressing........[8|]



sirsholly -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:43:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Maybe female submissives should be ball-gagged when dressing........[8|]


gee Level...since you never know when a sub might change her clothes perhaps you should just keep her gagged at all times [8|][8|][8|]

*i am being sarcastic but i KNOW he is going to agree...just KNOW it...*



Level -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 4:48:48 AM)

No. Few sounds are sweeter than a woman's voice..... *usually* So, maybe keep them naked all the time, instead.



TysGalilah -> RE: -=How To Begin a Successful Power Exhcange=- (6/23/2008 5:02:07 AM)

{To exchange control, you both must expose yourselves in order to learn.  How can you start a power exchange if you don't know what makes the other person tic, what power to give or take?  There can be no secrets, especially if it conflicts with paying respect to the bond.  Neither Master nor slave can hold secrets or limit exposure if they are to succeed.  There must be complete exposure.  Treat the power exchange with respect, remain exposed and steadfast in your roles. }

  I believe in openness, honesty and complete exposure in a PE relationship. Although,  I think, much like trust, it comes in gradual stages and is built and nurtured.  They go hand in hand, imo.
As the trust builds the level of emotional exposure follows and is essential that it does.  Neither can be or should be forced.
Willingness to do both is a must from the get-go.
 
 
 
 spelling edit
 



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