I'm wondering...

I'm wondering... (Full Version)

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Steponme73 -> I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 1:41:03 PM)
I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man that will be their slave behind closed doors. It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male, for the outside world and a Type B personality when he comes home at night...Am I right or am I missing the point?

DominantJenny -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 2:22:14 PM)
Not in my case. (Not that I'm looking for a man right now, as I have one, but...) By wanting a strong man, I mean more that I want someone who is emotionally stable and reasonably independent. More than a few guys I ran across in the sub world were a little TOO into being the spineless, useless blech that they enjoyed being referred to as. I'm good with a little humiliation play, but when it reflects reality a little TOO much...not my kind of guy.

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 4:16:52 PM)
In general, I don't jive well with type A people. As an introvert, musing sort muhself, they are moving in a rhythm different than my own. For me strength means a sense of self, ethics, a sense of character, emotional strength (which, in part, means being willing to be emotionally vulnerable which I LOVE about submissive men). I would call this "strength within" rather than "strength over." I don't want Rambo. (though there are days when it would be funny to fuck with his head) To put it in athletic terms, I want dancer strong, not football player strong -- lithe, graceful, collected, but not brutish. I think your (mis)conception comes from traditional cultural ideas of what ideal masculinity is. When I say things on the boards like "I love a man's strength" or "I'm attracted to competence," it concerns me that submissive think I (and others) are looking for an uber-man, some super-polished image that no earthly submissive man can compete with. Shoot. At bottom, I'm looking for someone I'm compatible with as a person who also wants to experience D/s with me. That's my 99th percentile. Mss (editing for perhaps the 3rd time)

MsStarlett -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 4:22:33 PM)
Dittos. I am only interested in people who are functional in real life. I also don't want a play pretty who's going to whine "Ow! That hurt." like that sissy Stooge that took over after Curly left.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 4:29:03 PM)
Why would we not want strong, independent men with character and personality? Crawling, obsequious worms are only interesting in porn~~and not even then, if you're me.

MzticStormz -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 5:41:20 PM)
If I wanted someone to follow me around, agree with everything I do, and drool on my shoes.. I would buy a dog. A strong man can be my submissive out in the real world just as much as he is behind closed doors.. sometimes it is the subtle things that remind him who he belongs to, and who he has chosen to submit to. That does not mean that I as his Dominant can do things to jeopardize his job, family or friendship relations, in fact just the opposite applies in that I have to do everything I can to protect those. Sometimes it takes a strong man to put that much trust into a Dominant's hands.

petdave -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 6:14:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Steponme73 I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man that will be their slave behind closed doors. It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male, for the outside world and a Type B personality when he comes home at night...Am I right or am I missing the point? i think you're right. Dominant, submissive, or vanilla, "Mr. Right" is always James Bond +/- 10%. No mercy for the weak!

LadyPact -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 6:47:46 PM)
I think the gals before Me said it so well that I don't have to add anything.

Sylverdawn -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 8:31:40 PM)
I think you missing the point

CoasttoCoast -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 9:33:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Steponme73 most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male, ^ There you go,I removed the superfluous parts.

pagankinktress -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 9:35:29 PM)
My feeling has always been that it takes strength to submit in the first place. It means more when he submits because of his personal inner-strength, or perhaps, even in spite of it, if that makes sense. When an exchange of power is taking place, there has to be some sort of personal power there to relinquish(even if it's only in the moment or contextual) to begin with.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/23/2008 10:27:56 PM)
I want a man who is Type A, but unfulfilled unless he is in service, speficially to me. Master Fire

Steponme73 -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/24/2008 9:13:44 AM)
Thanks for the responses...that clears somethings up for me and helps me understand better. Thanks again

Reigna -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/24/2008 9:16:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Steponme73 I have noticed that a lot of the women on this site are looking for a "strong" man ... It seems to me that most women are looking for a vanilla Type A personality male Perhaps they are, but I'd argue that it's a mistake to equate "strength" with Type A personality. Admittedly, it's a common mistake, and dominant women are as like as anyone to make it. But as several others have indicated, a lot of us really are looking for strength of character. For me, it's a must; everything else is a nicety.

TeeGO -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 10:21:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive In general, I don't jive well with type A people. As an introvert, musing sort muhself, they are moving in a rhythm different than my own. For me strength means a sense of self, ethics, a sense of character, emotional strength (which, in part, means being willing to be emotionally vulnerable which I LOVE about submissive men). I would call this "strength within" rather than "strength over." I don't want Rambo. (though there are days when it would be funny to fuck with his head) To put it in athletic terms, I want dancer strong, not football player strong -- lithe, graceful, collected, but not brutish. I think your (mis)conception comes from traditional cultural ideas of what ideal masculinity is. When I say things on the boards like "I love a man's strength" or "I'm attracted to competence," it concerns me that submissive think I (and others) are looking for an uber-man, some super-polished image that no earthly submissive man can compete with. Shoot. At bottom, I'm looking for someone I'm compatible with as a person who also wants to experience D/s with me. That's my 99th percentile. Mss (editing for perhaps the 3rd time) The football types can be submissive too....[sm=2cents.gif]

LolaBabalon -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 2:01:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett Dittos. I am only interested in people who are functional in real life. I couldn't agree more. There are "submissives" who use it as an excuse to be co-dependent and emotionally draining. [I'm also aware that there are "dominants" who use that as a way to hide their controlling and overbearing personalities] but I am not interested in either one of those types.

Madame4a -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 2:09:41 PM)
I like the football types myself... whooo... fanning

Sylverdawn -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 4:18:57 PM)
Married on of those Madame,,, WHOOOFUCKINGHOOOOOOOOOEY.. lol..now if I just could convince him he looks good bent over a spanking bench

MsStarlett -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 5:25:27 PM)
The football types can be submissive too.... Wanna show me?

joyinslavery -> RE: I'm wondering... (6/25/2008 7:26:14 PM)
Thank you (sincerely). That rabbit hole it far too deep to discuss here (many try though). I like your post. That's one stroke count for sanity.

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