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Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/25/2008 3:43:23 AM   
JulieorSarah


Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		Still very much a newbie, and one who likes vanilla AND bdsm aspects of a relationship.

my profile states i'm seeking a mutually exclusive relationship, in what is in effect a part-time dom/vanilla context

in my time on CM (my main source of enlightenment about the BDSM world)  i've realised there are no rules, it's what works between the parties, poly, bi, switch, whatever the components, it's what works.

Recently it's been mentioned to me that what i seek is not possible ... yet i sense there are many that post on here who are in just that ... a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context.

Are my instincts/senses right?

Is a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context doable for a long time?
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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/25/2008 4:36:32 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

Is a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context doable for a long time?

Absolutely.

Exclusivity is about the overall dynamic of the relationship.  BDSM is at best tangential to exclusivity.

Kink and monogamy work just as well as kink and polygamy.


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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/25/2008 9:39:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what you mean by mutually exclusive. If what you mean is monogamous, then yes, there are many of us.

We were monogamous part time D/s in a LDR for two years. Now we're monogamous fulltime living together.

As far as the guys who keep telling you that you don't get to play around and they do? Block and ignore.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/25/2008 9:42:52 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieorSarah

Is a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context doable for a long time?



oh i so hope so!
Sir and i have been mutually exclusive for 2 1/2 years and counting    .  . .. ..  planning on many more.

If that is what you want, then chances are , that is what you will find.


< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 6/25/2008 9:43:40 AM >

(in reply to JulieorSarah)
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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/25/2008 11:44:19 PM   
JulieorSarah


Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you my trio of heros ...

That there are three of you, tells me there are more ...

i will stick to what i feel will work for me ... thank you!

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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/26/2008 2:10:14 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieorSarah
Recently it's been mentioned to me that what i seek is not possible ... yet i sense there are many that post on here who are in just that ... a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context.

Are my instincts/senses right?

Is a mutually exclusive relationship that is set very much in a BDSM context doable for a long time?


Absolutely possible.  When I am in a commited LTR it is my choice to be mongamous so I was careful to be with people who wanted the same.  There are many mutally exclusive BDSM relationships.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/26/2008 5:02:07 AM   
vectorym


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/21/2007
Status: offline 		yes -all good answers julie and obviously YOU are the one who will decide what works for you - the analogy of kink and manogamy and kink and polyamory is well said and i would agree very much with that saying

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/26/2008 11:01:15 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Doug and I have been together ten years now.  We've been playing for 9 of the ten.  Monogamous committed relationship for us.  Nothing less.

For those who tell you it does not exist means it does not for them.  It isn't what they are seeking.  If you will settle for no less than a monogamous relationship you will find what you are seeking.  You will turn people away by the masses but it will be well worth it in the end.



(in reply to JulieorSarah)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Exclusivity in a BDSM context is ... - 6/28/2008 2:23:02 AM   
TMIk


Posts: 70
Joined: 6/19/2008
From: New York
Status: offline 		Long term BDSM relationships can work just have to find the right person.

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You've crossed the walls - Excelled
Further along through their hell
All for my heart, I watch you kill
You always have, you always will
Now spread your wings and sail out to me
~Deftones

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Profile   Post #: 9
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