RE: Raising the Subject

RE: Raising the Subject (Full Version)

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1RottenJohnny -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 1:17:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear If your timeing is right and you have established a good rapore with the folks you are with, many will enjoy discussing fantacies and sex games. It is only a small step to introduce the lifestyle into the conversation ion a general way. Supprising how many people show interest in finding out more. It's fun watching how many get hot under the collar and probably wet in the knickers when you casually mention placing a female over your knee to spank her. The other day I was standing with a small group of friends at school and one rather "extroverted" girl was going on about how hard it was to find a man that was good with both money and oral sex. I made a comment about how easy it was to find a woman who would take both. Well, of course she was shocked that I had put her comment in its place and her reply to me was that she should spank me. So I explained to her that she had the roles reversed. She looked at me and said, "You're one of those S&M people, aren't you?". To which I replied, "As a matter of fact, yes, I am." The result? After a couple seconds of dead silence... All the guys laughed. One girl left. One girl stayed quiet. And the knees of the girl I was talking to started visibly shaking. Gee, do you think I could get a date?

Wolfie648 -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 1:47:02 AM)
quote: It's one thing talking to like-minded individuals (e.g. on CollarMe), but how do you raise the subject of a liking for bondage on a "normal" date? If it's something that's important to you, you owe it to yourself and them to raise it early but how do you do this without sending her/him running off screaming "axe murderer, pervert etc., etc"? I'd be careful as to what you consider 'like-minded' even here - as I have found out on other threads ;-) Be yourself and never knowingly hurt someone else against their will. Communicate but be careful. D (owner of j)

candystripper -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 3:57:53 AM)
quote: Probably yet i find accents ammusing. If I've had one or three sherbets, I'm told that mu accent changes to one typical of a Sloan Ranger (terribly Brit upper class), yet when I spend time with any of my mates from the US and especially the Rebs (Most of whome still have the Stars and Bars tattoed on their souls), I find the deep Southern Drawl creaping into my speach. When I'm with some eastern European friends I can hear the more gutteral edge creaping into my voice and the "V" and "W" transposing certainly I've never had the Paul Hogan Aussie "Strine" accent but mine tends to make folks believe I wasn't born in Australia. IronBear i have 3 Aussie Men friends (seems i cannot leave these Men alone, LOL) and i have heard Them speak, and none sounded like Paul Hogan. BTW, my family emigrated from Scotland to the US, and THEIR accents were so thick they were almost unintelligible...nothing at all like Sean Connery sounds. Since i KNOW where my family came from, i wonder wtf is up with Sean, LOL. candystripper

kisshou -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 4:05:15 AM)
I will have to admit I read this thread hoping there would be more specific examples than just be yourself. Just like having to talk to someone you are dating about their sexual history this can be a really difficult subject to broach and it can be even harder to judge when the right time for this discussion to take take place should be. One of the reasons the Owner met me online is that I felt free to express the truth about my kinks/fetishes/preferences. Previously when I had tried being up front in person with men , I had always met with disaster. I really liked the idea the person wrote about an art gallery. The only other two ideas I can think of is playing certain music then discussing the BDSM aspects of it. There are lots of threads on songs if you don't know any. The other idea I had was to go online together than casually go to online together and casually come across a website. Or maybe go to a video store with a xxx section. I wish you the best of luck!!

BeingChewsie -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 4:32:34 AM)
My owner and I met on completely vanilla terms. I had a sense of who he was from the get go. Though the leap from being someone I acknowledged as more powerful than myself to owned by him looked like quite the jump. So in conversation I brought up that it was difficult to find my type of man. He asked what my type was? I told him one drawn to leadership, independence, power, control..your average control freak :) A _real_ take charge kind of guy. He didn't say yes or no, he just said ok or something like that. Then he said to me" if you like to fight you are the woman of my dreams". That led into more in depth discussions about wants, needs, sex etc. His responses were very measured. We both revealed the depth of things to one another over time. Eventually both coming out as heavy into S/M and both seeking an O/p relationship incorporating all the things we believe in. I have felt like I hit the lottery since then.

IronBear -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 6:43:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie My owner and I met on completely vanilla terms. I had a sense of who he was from the get go. Though the leap from being someone I acknowledged as more powerful than myself to owned by him looked like quite the jump. So in conversation I brought up that it was difficult to find my type of man. He asked what my type was? I told him one drawn to leadership, independence, power, control..your average control freak :) A _real_ take charge kind of guy. He didn't say yes or no, he just said ok or something like that. Then he said to me" if you like to fight you are the woman of my dreams". That led into more in depth discussions about wants, needs, sex etc. His responses were very measured. We both revealed the depth of things to one another over time. Eventually both coming out as heavy into S/M and both seeking an O/p relationship incorporating all the things we believe in. I have felt like I hit the lottery since then. Power is a funny thing isn't it? I dont know about the guys, but over the last 35 years or so, I've been amused watching the affect that a powerful male has when he enters a room, on a number of women. You can watch the blushes, the subtle squirming, especially if he catches their eye. It is a game I've played for years and I'd have to say thatr in my opinion Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Just my thoughts nothing more or less.

candystripper -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 8:17:11 AM)
quote: Power is a funny thing isn't it? I dont know about the guys, but over the last 35 years or so, I've been amused watching the affect that a powerful male has when he enters a room, on a number of women. You can watch the blushes, the subtle squirming, especially if he catches their eye. It is a game I've played for years and I'd have to say thatr in my opinion Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Just my thoughts nothing more or less. IronBear Not power derived from a position...like elected office....but personal power; innate leadership qualities...self-confidence and self-control...o yeah. And if He shows me He finds me desirable, i turn into a puddle. candystripper

Jacques1000 -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 9:20:16 AM)
oooh maaate, ya kin run but ya carn't hiide. I can smell an Australian accent in a room, fair dinkum. :-P

IronBear -> RE: Raising the Subject (11/9/2005 10:11:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Not power derived from a position...like elected office....but personal power; innate leadership qualities...self-confidence and self-control...o yeah. And if He shows me He finds me desirable, i turn into a puddle. candystripper This is true, however some of the most powerfull people I know and call friend, are also some of the most powerfull business people too who also are some of the most wealthy. Having said that, it is also true that not all powerfull people or people with power if you like, are necessarily wealthy. I also have among my friends some very powerfull people who are also as poor as church mice but very happy and secure in themselves. quote: ORIGINAL: Jacques1000 oooh maaate, ya kin run but ya carn't hiide. I can smell an Australian accent in a room, fair dinkum. :-P Then if you meet me in a social setting, and dont know who I am, you'll just as likely pick me as being upperclass British. Its just the way I was brought up and how I learned to speak.

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