RE: I feel so lost.

RE: I feel so lost. (Full Version)

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lonewolf05 -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/10/2005 9:46:25 AM)
quote: I guess my long and drawn out question is this: What on earth should I do? Do I respect his request to forget that he is submissive and try and act vanilla with him, or do I try and discuss it again? I just want him to be satisfied... ========== so,..what's in Your heart? the book of life, has mirrors on each page. (from Circle of Iron-dedicated to Bruce Lee) wolf

LadyKim -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/11/2005 10:11:45 AM)
I'd test him on what he said. Tell him if sex is not interesting to him at all, then you want him to prove it to you. Buy a CB3000, and lock him up. Cage his cock!! Give him chores around the house to fulfill each night. Tease him. While he's washing the dishes, tease his balls or inner thighs or ass. Spank him here and there.......... or have him rub your feet and watch you masterbate knowing he will not have access. If he complains the cage hurts, he is probably being aroused forcing him to grow in his confinement.

LadyCompassion -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/11/2005 1:24:40 PM)
quote: I wish I had read this thread before finding your post about collaring ceremonies. You are a L~O~N~G way from pondering a collaring ceremony IMO. You first need to figure out if your fiancé and you are truly complementary partners, let alone married partners, let alone married and collared partners. Let me pose a question for you to ask yourself: Why is being engaged at the age of 19 important to you? As the years progress, you will discover that you grow and change, and that the person you are at 19 can often end up being significantly different from who you'll become by the time you're 29.... 39.... 49.... 59. By the same token, why did your boyfriend decide he wanted to be your fiancé? Let me clarify my collaring ceremony post. I was not planning one for us. I am fully aware that we are no where near that at all...Not even close. I was curious as to what they consisted of and I was looking for a location that they may happen often because I wanted to watch one if it was public. I do think that he and I are complimentary partners in every aspect of ourselves except for this. I dont think that being engaged is "important" as much as it is where we are now. He is my fiance because he loves me unconditionally and he wants to spend his life with me.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/11/2005 1:48:03 PM)
You say that he loves you unconditionally...........but your posts just don't show evidence of that. Most collarings are private, like weddings........but some people have multiple ceremonies, so you might wind up at one by default. Ms Francine

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/11/2005 2:55:04 PM)
quote: You say that he loves you unconditionally...........but your posts just don't show evidence of that. I agree that the posts do not show evidence of that even if I believed that unconditional love exists and conquers all. M

HeavenlyCeleste -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/12/2005 11:00:53 AM)
Dear Lady Compassion, What a difficult postition you are in! Whatever it is you decide to do I hope things turn out mot wonderfully for you. You seem quite willing to try to fulfill his needs so I have an article for you to read. You can find it on the Elise Hutton site located at http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/Female.html If you wander around her site you may find some good insight. Be warned though...most of the information on the site is cahrged for...the article listed above (and a couple others) are free. Good luck to you, Celeste

candystripper -> RE: I feel so lost. (11/13/2005 5:24:57 AM)
quote: Let me clarify my collaring ceremony post. I was not planning one for us. I am fully aware that we are no where near that at all...Not even close. I was curious as to what they consisted of and I was looking for a location that they may happen often because I wanted to watch one if it was public. I do think that he and I are complimentary partners in every aspect of ourselves except for this. I dont think that being engaged is "important" as much as it is where we are now. He is my fiance because he loves me unconditionally and he wants to spend his life with me. LadyCompassion Ma'am, i am 52 years old and through much sorrow, i have learnt "Men Do Not Change". i dated a Dom for months; no sex, no play. He was taking a med i knew suppressed libido and wanted to discuss it with Him but He cut me off completely. Apart from this (huge) problem, i was so happy with Him; and then one day He just dumped me; unceremoniously. This is a cautionary tale. First, if i were You, i'd ask myself "would i want to dominate another man"? If the answer is "no"; it sure sounds as if You've taken on a persona that does not suit You. i spent many years litigating major cases and my conduct was very Domme; but my heart was submissive and denying myself that was painful. i think it contributed to my burn-out. One difference between us is that i did not find D/s until much later, so i did not even have language for what i felt. It also sounds as if You feel no deep and abiding need to submit to a Dom or Master. As You described Yourself, You'd like some "extra" fun sexually, but do not identify with the roles in BDSM. There is not one single thing wrong with that. i too found myself engaged at a young age...and despite many misgivings went through with a wedding. i then had plenty of time thereafter to contemplate my error. i urge You to break it off with him. You may always love him but the two of You are not suited, and You are the only one turning Yourself into a pretzel for him. It will only get worse, in my experience. Please feel free to email me on the other side if You wish. candystripper

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