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Domination vs. Topping - 11/6/2005 2:28:25 PM

GddssBella

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G'evening all:

Sadly, there hasn't been much in the way of new or interesting topics in this forum. I figured I'd throw my hat into the arena and stir folks up a bit. I am aware of the differences between the stated phrases, I merely wish to hear others' take on the matter.

Differences? Similarities? Pro/cons of each? Preferences? Methods need not be brought up since the mechanics will vary widely per individual and take us off topic. When I see some feedback, I'll post my own thoughts.

Here's to the oncoming debate! *cheers ~ raises glass*

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/6/2005 3:13:38 PM

iamdownonmyknees

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I feel a disconnect with the words top and topping in a D/s context. I’m equally comfortable with all genders. With guys I’ve mostly been a top. So for me it has long meant who does the penetration in anal sex. With guys that has mostly been me. (And I don’t see penetration as necessarily being a power thing.)

Domination makes it clear someone is the boss and someone else obeys the orders given.

I guess it is matter of the context in which you first encounter the terms.

Richard

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/6/2005 4:03:48 PM

thetammyjo

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For me being the dominant means I'm taking care of myself first... my needs, my desires, my time, my energy, my orgasm, etc.

For me being the top means being a partner, an equal partner in an artistic endeavor where we create emotions or sensations together.

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/6/2005 4:31:40 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella

Sadly, there hasn't been much in the way of new or interesting topics in this forum.

You think so too? *S*

Top = who is in charge during the scene, be it sexual, discipline or bondage. A top is the one tying the knots in the rope, wielding the flogger or otherwise taking the power in the scene. I have seen a few scenes in My day where I considered the physical bottom to be the actual top! The bottom was directing the top (either by agreement before or during) in what to do, how to do it, and how far to go. *W*

Domination - I am always dominant. It doesn't matter is there is a scene going on or not. I am in charge or everything, all the time. All things are done according to My preference, and I make decisions based on what is best for Myself and the submissive or slave. I am not unreasonable, but I am the one making the final call. Whether it is what to have for dinner, or whether or not I feel like anal play tonight.

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/6/2005 4:40:06 PM

Foibey

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I dominate my subs, and top my friends. For me the dividing factor is the psychological undercurrent (or lack thereof) underlying the actions taking place.

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/7/2005 8:13:05 AM

MistressFire70

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To me, one of the things that makes them different is a level of commitment. Being a Top, I don't feel the need to pursue any kind of relationship with the person. If they've gone deep into subspace, I might call them the day after and make sure they're ok, but basically, the Topping was just a scene. Being a Dominant is a higher level of commitment. Being a Master is an even higher one.

Of course, these are only my opinions.

Fire

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/7/2005 9:17:43 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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For me topping is like a hobby, something I do regularly, as the one in control for brief, controlled sections of time.

Dominance is a more overarching state of relationship dynamic, in which the person has authority and can enforce that authority.

I love topping, the headspace and the experiences. I don't consider myself a dominant however, with all the responsiblity it entails.

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/8/2005 7:46:06 AM

Nuke718

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OK first to ME anyway the terms Top and Bottom do are not necesarily Ds references.

They go back to S&M as to who is on what side of the pain. The top is dishing it out and the Bottom is reciving. Like wise the gay male community still uses the term in a similar way, ie the bottom is recieving LoL.

Domination and submission on the other hand include a more mental/emotional aspect. For me the acts involved in a scene can be the same but if I am Doming or subbing there is more of a bond or relationship between myself an my partner. One that extends outside of the scene, into the rest of our interaction. When Topping or Bottoming the roles tend to drop away shortly after.

N }:-

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/20/2005 9:44:26 AM

GddssBella

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G'morning all:

Figured I'd dust off my own topic and finally give my opinion on the definitions.

Topping - purely the application of sensation. Little or no power exchange occurs. Much less personal than the intimate connection that domination includes.
Domination - control, power, intimacy, sexual tension, affection. So much more. Heady and enveloping.

I've done both. Topping keeps me in form, gives me a chance to practice my skills and have a bit of fun or laughs along the way. Domination though, is my drug of choice. Got to love a Domme-gasm. *hehe*

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/26/2005 8:43:21 PM

HouseofBear

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Topping is the one applying the sensation in a scene whereas a dominant is the one who applies control. I know of a dominant sadist/masochist who enjoys bottoming. However, he is the one in control, grinz. He states what he wants done, how, and when, etc.

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/28/2005 7:28:50 AM

bettamorphasis

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i,m here now and for those who can tolerate " goin on a tangent" .. cheers...i,m bored and i have 2cents for the jar. My question/statement/ combination of both is.... if someone is paying you to wear green , ya,d have to be stupid to turn up dressed in brown ... ya may assert ya control by defying the request/demand... but When Mistress Greenback knocks on reality,s door ... ya realize that essentially most silver spoonless people need to be flexible, malleable ... and that when the director calls "cut!!!, see ya'all tomorrow"... may be an opportune time to wash ,rinse and air out the latex catsuit" , and give the "method acting a break... and remember how miniscule we all are in a universal sense...I find a dominant woman , who can smile and be cheerful and have perfect poise n timing, need not assume the despot role , and it takes away nothing from the power she exudes from every pore ... just means (to me anyway) she is truly connected to ebb and flow and truly does manifest a Goddess-like power over others... as for men Dominating ...i have no opinion/interest............we apologize for this break in transmission.. you will be returned to the programme as soon as possible....

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RE: Domination vs. Topping - 11/28/2005 10:00:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GddssBella
Topping - purely the application of sensation. Little or no power exchange occurs. Much less personal than the intimate connection that domination includes.

Hmm but topping can easily be inclusive of an intimate connection.

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