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candystripper -> Denial (6/27/2008 10:53:58 PM)
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Denial is a psycological defense mechanism. We all have them, and whichever ones we employ, we always pay a carrying charge.
Myself I can be dense as a door. 'I'll leave this room if it kills me -- but I'll never use a door!'
Being dense isn't itself a defense mechanism for me. I'm not always very astute. Once I form a belief or judgment or POV about someone or something, I don't always reexamine it as soon as new info suggests I should.
Sometimes I don't answer the clue phone on the first ring.
But however long it may take me, once I do get the clue I don't ignore it. I pull it out in the light of day and gather any other info or input I need -- and I change my POV when it's called for.
I've always been this way, so I can't say I chose it. I think we come tumbling out of the womb with a basics of a personality.
I find it very hard to be close with anyone who does use denial, though. To me, denial is a refusal to admit the truth....and I find myself kinda lost trying to figure out if I'm supposed to pretend I can't see the truth either. Most of the time it gets to be too hard and I tend to pull away.
Do you use denial? Would you be able to admit it, if you did? Has there ever been a cost to you because you were in denial?
Have you ever departed a relationship because of denial by the other person?
candystripper
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