DomAviator
Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/22/2008 Status: offline
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I would suggest you move.... I dont have these problems in my neighborhood.. Comments are in red... quote:
ORIGINAL: candystripper Here are some changes I'd make to my neighborhood: * My local McDonald's has begun demanding cash in the drive -thru and yet still accepts my debit card if I go inside. The hell with that; I'm in my pjs and I'm not getting out of my car. They will change back immediately to accepting debit cards in the drive thru and give away food for a month as a punishment for inconvencing me. First of all why would anyone eat McDonalds. Burgerking home of the whopper! You can't get Rodeo Cheeseburgers in mc donalds. Everyplace here accepts credit cards. I generally carry $300 cash in my wallet. I took out $300 back in December because I gave the $300 I had to Brittney for Christmas shopping. Here it is the end of june and I still have like $220 of the original $300. Thats how widespread plastic is here in Houston. * My local drug store has no drive-thru for dropping and picking up scripts. They will build one immediately, and while this is going on, they will refurbish their floors so they can be cleaned properly. If that means new tile or something, then so be it. Who in the fuck would go through a drive through pharmacy? You cant pick up Walgreens girls if you stay in the car. I dont look at the floors, Im too focused on the walgreens girls ass... mmmmmmmm I can see the lines, shes wearing something sexy under those khakis, oooh kinky lil baptist girl! Sweeet, good time to compliment her eyes... Fuck what color are they again?? Oh yeah green... * One of my neighbors has three cars, all huge. We are alloted only one parking space per unit. This dimwit will immediately donate two cars to charity and then make plans to move out asap. Buy a house. I have all the parking I need. My driveway has no fewer than three cars, a motorcycle, and a boat in it. If I have company there are as many as 20 cars out there, and if I need more parking the neigbors let me use their driveways since they have an invite too. Fuck charity, they can buy their own cars LOL * My MD is off for lunch betwen noon and two thirty every day, and all afternoon Fridays. He will start making his staff take lunch breaks in shifts and answer the phone all day, and he will work Friday afternoons. He will also give me an email address for him, so I don't have to deal with his staff if I just need an answer to a simple question. I could care less when my doctor works or how long his lunch break is. I see him every once six months, if I need something in the mean time I call and leave him a voice mail that he will get when hes ready to check it. He calls it in and I go to Walgreens to pick it up. Ooooooh hello, cute little green eyed walgreens girl... Mmmmm, thats right the Camel filters all the way on the bottom of the rack, yep down there sweety, mmmmmm red silk thong today sweet! Love what ya did with your hair color, it really brings out your eyes... * Someone will open a decent dry cleaners near me, so I don't have to drive 20 minutes to get to one. People will also open a good chinese resturant and a Jewish deli, at a minimum. There's plenty of empty retail space to do this. Or else just wear something that is washable... I have the latina who cleans my house twice a week pick up my drycleaning and do my laundry. (Or the Walgreens girl will do it when she stays over. Just compliment her eyes. LOL) Chineese food comes to me, Hello tran - numbah one and nubah sixty nine oooh and a numbah 12 dont forget the duck sauce in the packets... * My bank will re-open a branch in my neighborhood and provide a drive up window and an ATM while they're at it. There is an ATM from one of my banks in Walgreens. I drive past the bank to go to it. Oooooh hello pretty little green eyed walgreens girl. Come on hunny watch me pull out $500 cash. Mmmmm hmmmmm, Ive got the bucks... Yeah, thats right sweety it keeps spitting out $500 doesnt it, almost every time I come in here... KaChing! Good girl, hmmm shes smiling sweetly and flipping her hair at me... Good girl.. Yep camel filters all the way on the bottom. Bend waaaaaaaay over to reach them down there. Oh, plain white cotton, must be that time of the month. Bummer! Ill try again in three days. Oh well, guess I better stop by the branch and put he $500 back in Im not gonna need it after all. * My brother and sister in law will finally get someone to buy their house and move to a better neighborhood -- preferably one on the other side of town. * My mechanic will begin offering me a ride home and a pick up when he works on my car, so I don't have to jump through hoops to find a ride. He will reduce his hourly labor cost from $60/hr to $20/hr, which I think is fair. I either fix my own vehicle, or call the mobile auto repair service which sends a mexican down to do whatever needs to be done right in my driveway or office parking lot. However, if you take her to Joes Crab shack, and let her drink Margarittas the green eyed Walgreens girl will change your oil before you get up. She will also make breakfast. Good little Baptist girl, yes I see how handy you are around the house - I still aint marrying ya. LOL * The city will stop wasting money tearing up roads and bridges in my neighborhood since they have no money to repair them. Move. My roads and bridges are gorgeous and well maintained, and the Baptist Women and Daughters of the Republic go out and plant flowers in the median strips... Thats a favorite past time of green eyed Walgreens Girls LOL. * The cops will just sit in the school zone during the school year and round up speeders by the dozens. People caught speeding in school zones will lose their driving priviledges for life. * Every business in my neighborhood will install a handicapped parking space and doors that handicapped people can open. No one but handicaped people will ever use a handicapped parking space. People will stop parking in fire lanes and the cops will have cars towed and impounded if they do. As a volunteer firefighter / paramedic I park in handicapped spaces with impunity. If I am kind enough to get my ass out of bed for free to carry their asses down three flights of stairs, then I can use their parking spaces. Ditto for fire lanes. If there is a fire I will turn the light on "yeeeee ha! Im the first responder on the scene guess that makes me incident commander! YIPEEEE!" * Everyone in my neighbor will agree to drive around parking lots the same way; I don't care if it's clockwise or not, but the complete free-for-all will stop immediately. Same thing I tell my flight students - see and avoid. I dont care what direction people drive across parkinglots. I like diagonal myself since the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. What improvements would you make to your neighborhood? candystripper
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