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RE: Showing Attitude - 6/30/2008 8:55:32 PM

lovepuppy

Posts: 46
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

they make a slave that never talks back, never has a bad night, never needs sleep, never grieves, quesitons or pees...and the best thing of all about this slave it is always at hand

and the particularly great thing about this slave is it has an exact matching partner so when you want a threesome, light the incense baby, you're goin' to be hot tonight.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

Post #: 21

RE: Showing Attitude - 6/30/2008 10:07:10 PM

WhisperSupremacy

Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline

My partner shows attitude all the damn time,....not with me, but with everything else in her damn life. On occation she gets that tone with me. I just do my best to remain calm. We're both switches and we try to share an equal relationship in all area's.... She definitly has more of an attitude than I do,.... I breathe deep, I talk to her, and try to help (if I can). That's all i can do. I've definitly learned a lot about patience with her,...especially considering the fact that I'm normally an inpatient person.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

Post #: 22

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 12:17:49 AM

MsValentine

Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MetalCouple

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

says who? which all-knowing, one-way twuism book are you getting this from?

i know i have an attitude and it comes in many shapes and forms depending on my mood. i can be nice and sweet as i want to be to blunt and downright rude. my attitude is what makes me human and have a personality ...just like you.

MetalCouple may have been assuming that we were talking of slaves in the TPE/Internal Enslavement ethos, in which case slaves don't have attitude, they have reactance.

My own sub does sometimes get a bit grouchy but it is usually when he is stressed or under pressure. We are doing up our home and we work hard and when things go awry, he can think it is all down to him and then gets snarky. I just tell him firmly to be quiet, stop stressing and calm down. I then tell him to be meek and polite or there will be consequences and from then on we have a sensible discussion and he is contrite about being pissy. He always gets strength from my refusal to get uptight and stressed. Once he knows I am not stressed or blaming him, he calms down. We work well together. It is rarely that I need to punish him.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 23

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 2:13:03 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Realistically? Gee... where to start.   The proverbial PMS moments. Sleep Deprivation, Physical Exhaution, Stress from work.    All the typical shit that makes anybody get an attitude.

SLAVES are HUMAN! Come on here, think about it and apply common sense. This is not a BDSM issue as much as it's a human issue.   Remember you dealing with a human being.    If you own a slave, you are owning a human being.   If you are a Master to a human being, get to know WTF you are Mastering, another human being.

All human beings are a little different from one another too.   Get to know the human being you the Master over. Think about what is honestly realistic.   For instance, if she were to drop a heavy ass can of soup on her big toe, what kind realistic response would she have to anything in the first 5 minutes, compared to hours aftwards?

You have to remember sub and slaves, experience physical and mental sensations just like any other human being does.

If anything showing attitude or emotion, is something that you should be thankful for. It gives you a good idea that something is wrong. That you should be concerned and step back and think for a moment. Sure you might not like it at the time, but you need to deal with it just as much as they need to deal with it.

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)

Post #: 24

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 3:41:10 AM

Stusmobile

Posts: 145
Joined: 5/26/2008
From: No fixed abode
Status: offline

Bad attitude can raise it's head at any time and for many reasons.

If it's just petulance and whining then she better beware because I don't do well with that. If there is a reasonable concern we will sit and discuss it, work out what is causing it and try our best to alleviate or change it .... sometimes real life forces you to have bad days and that won't ever change.

Her regular attitude ... that is almost constant and one of her appealing features that makes her. She tells me to hush, will stick her tongue out and occasionally make smartass comments .... but she also knows when they will be appreciated and when they will cause trouble. There is a lot of laughter, teasing, playing within our relationship and there is also a lot of give and take in our everyday lives but there are also distinct lines, moods and times when being quiet, doing as she is told and doing it well is all that is required.

_____________________________

Goethe: "Whatever you do, or dream you can do, begin it - boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

EmlyKate is mine and I wouldn't wish for anything else.

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)

Post #: 25

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 4:01:36 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I can understand and perhaps even at a pinch accept attitude under dire stressfull conditions. However I have a protocol oriented lifestyle which is inflexable as is my zero tollerence towards attitude. There has to be exceptional circumstances for me to turn a blind eye.. After all as I often say, "Better an empty collar than the wrong person in it."

Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).

(in reply to Stusmobile)

Post #: 26

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 4:13:37 AM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline

I agree with LA, there are good attitudes too. I get attitude all the time, I think its a person without ( reads: stuffed/drowned/numbed) emotions and feelings that will say they never have an attitude.
When I get'ta feeling a negative attitude, I generally get very quiet. I try hard to process my feelings and give myself an attitude adjustment before spouting my initial thoughts all over the place. Sometimes I'm successful......sometimes I'm not...

I'm told I must share all my feelings and thoughts, to hold them back is not good for me or for the relationship....I agree. However, I think that when I process it/them enough to make sure what I am communicating is just my honest feeling but w/o the attitude behind it, its not really disobeying.
I guess thats where the "quietness" comes in. It's just me trying hard to balance the two.

I will also say that, for me if I am honest with myself about it, most of my negative attitudes come about because or when I am having expectations of another person or trying to change someone elses actions, casting judgement on their reaction or behavior.

Disappointment is something I still work at balancing all the time. When is it "expectations" and when is it being healthy emotionally and saying that something didnt feel right/good?

Inconsistancy or lack of followthrough is something that will create a neg attitude in me pretty quick. It comes from being lied to constantly and for decades, in my other relationship. It's made it hard for me to separate lack of followthrough/Inconsistant with a being lied to. My defenses go up, an attitude emerges and " wait just a moment there, but you said................................................." pops into my brain and wants to fall out of my mouth.
I get very quiet...but he can see the wheels turning .

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 27

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 4:20:51 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: MetalCouple

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

Remember that the EGO will protect itself no matter what and attitude is a form of an attempt to protect.

i dont have an attitude? ... wow ... I never knew that ..

*giggles* i guess you learn something new every day, eh softness.

That said, IMO and my opinion only, there is a great difference between being angry and being mouthy. Yes we get angry at our Masters but to actively tell him off....no. There is a way to express anger without yelling and/or getting nasty. I cannot conceive of just yelling at a Master, better to explain how i feel and why i'm angry.

Do i sometimes yell at a Master? Of course, i'm only human. But then i would expect to, at the very least, have my attitude corrected, because i would be wrong to just yell instead of taking the time to cool off and then present my feelings in a calm manner. But then i would expect the same from my boss not just my Master if i had one. Yelling isn't productive all it accomplishes is more bad feeling, it resolves nothing.

phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 28

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 8:11:02 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I probably should qualify my earlier post in that I do recognise and indeed enjoy positive attitudes: helpfull, caring, attentive, and so on and so forth. Normally when I see the term attitude I think immediately of today's youth with the in your face agressive, I want it and I want it now attiutude and we are having a good time (not caring if in having a good time, they may be destroying some one elses peace and quiet enjoynent or dammaging property and futting the fear of god into peracefull folk)attitude.. It is this I have no time and patience with for it shows ill discliplined and ill mannered people. Nor to I tolerate mouthy, rude and abrasive people or those who think it cool to back answer. If this disqualifies 99.99% of people who may seek my collars or who wish to associate with me in any way, then so be it. I refuse to lower my standards for anyone.

Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 29

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 8:18:18 AM

JillSpade

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfsrealm

Realisticly speaking, in what situations do your sub or slave show you any form of attitude?

I'm not referring to flat out disobediance, just the moments when they have a tone that you don't like or show that they don't want to follow an order/task.

-Master Damien

If I were a Domme, as long as they obeyed me, their attitude would be irrelevant. I would most likely find them amusing and petulant unless they didn't follow my orders.

_____________________________

"How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me."

-Excerpt from 'The more loving one', by W. H. Auden

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)

Post #: 30

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 9:32:35 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MetalCouple

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

Remember that the EGO will protect itself no matter what and attitude is a form of an attempt to protect.

Well I did have an attitude: I left it on the tube train, City Line, in a folder...has anyone found it?

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to MetalCouple)

Post #: 31

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 11:14:35 AM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And since my partner so often wants to make me happy, I know when he DOES show a negative attitude that I really need to pay attention cuz something's going wrong here.

Agreed, there must be something REALLY wrong if girl where to have an attitude with Master. Master is so attuned with girl that he would know girls shift in mood and would attend to it imediatly. There is no punishment for such things as girl strives to please her Master no to be "punished" but then all relationships are different and to each their own...:)
Master Dragons slave

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 32

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 12:22:31 PM

MasterDragon1963

Posts: 51
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I find that communication is a fundamental cornerstone in any relatinship, and expecially in a M/s one. Not just verbal communication, but being intuative. Life happens, and sometimes shit happens too. Understanding the events surrounding a situation helps to keep misunderstanding to a minimum. A snappy responce to a comment because of fighting a migrane is different than someone being sassy just because they want to.

Master Dragon

_____________________________

It is not enough to walk thru the fire, but to embrace it, the flesh may be burned, but the pureness of the spirit shall endure forever.

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)

Post #: 33

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 1:41:53 PM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: MetalCouple

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

Remember that the EGO will protect itself no matter what and attitude is a form of an attempt to protect.

A giant 'Huh'?

So if someone (oh lets call her Jane. Jane Jane the slave), Jane is a slave she has no attitude simply by virtue of her being a slave?

Does poor Jane have emotions?
How about thoughts?

Of course we know that Jane has an eating disorder, perhaps it is because she is not permitted to have an attitude and overcompensates via food?

Oh that was almost snarky!
(I think. I was going for snarky but its hard to tell if I managed it. I'm only an s-type and we tend to not have attitudes yanno)

kitten, who also has attitude isues at times....

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 34

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 2:11:58 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MetalCouple

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

Remember that the EGO will protect itself no matter what and attitude is a form of an attempt to protect.

Interesting thought, hoiwever, I would have thought it isn't the ego per sre, but a lack of self esteem which can and often does toss up a barage of bad attitude as part of a defence mechanism. I also believe that the smart Dominant would be aware of the individual esteem issues and be able to deflect issues from causing an automatic defence. Just a thought...

Iron Bear
(Incorrigible, irrepressible and irreverent)
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Omar Khayyam 1048 CE to 1123 CE (Persian Mathematician, Scientist, Astronomer, Philosopher & Poet).

(in reply to pixidustpet)

Post #: 35

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 2:48:17 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Slaves dont have attitude per se. They have a perceived sense of self that shows itself from attitude.

Remember that the EGO will protect itself no matter what and attitude is a form of an attempt to protect.

And here I was afraid someone would forget to generalize and answer in my stead.

Thank you, thank you, thank you....

PL

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to MetalCouple)

Post #: 36

RE: Showing Attitude - 7/1/2008 5:57:53 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Interesting thought, hoiwever, I would have thought it isn't the ego per sre, but a lack of self esteem which can and often does toss up a barage of bad attitude as part of a defence mechanism. I also believe that the smart Dominant would be aware of the individual esteem issues and be able to deflect issues from causing an automatic defence. Just a thought...

It isn't always a psychological issue though. What they say in A.A. is HALT which stands for ; hungry, angry, lonely, tired. The solutions for hunger and tiredness are self evident. Loneliness requires affection, a simply hug can do wonders. Anger is the one that requires more work to diagnose and fix.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 37

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