RE: D/s and Chat

RE: D/s and Chat (Full Version)

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uquestions -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/30/2008 7:21:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle I use the SW chat room on the "A" site quite often. It's how I made a lot of friends in the Phoenix community. Their regional rooms are usually a bunch of people, most of whom know one another offline, shooting the breeze. I've found most of the collarme chatrooms to be pretty silly: people getting huffy about capitalization and so called "protocol." Do chat room protocols serve any useful purposes? DOes anyone know how or why capitalization entered into online D/s?

variation30 -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/30/2008 7:31:03 PM)
people use the chatrooms here?

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: D/s and Chat (6/30/2008 11:00:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: uquestions quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle I use the SW chat room on the "A" site quite often. It's how I made a lot of friends in the Phoenix community. Their regional rooms are usually a bunch of people, most of whom know one another offline, shooting the breeze. I've found most of the collarme chatrooms to be pretty silly: people getting huffy about capitalization and so called "protocol." Do chat room protocols serve any useful purposes? DOes anyone know how or why capitalization entered into online D/s? I believe it's probably due to cyberdoms and cybersubs; people who do "online D/s" but either cannot, or will not come out from hiding behind their computers and joining the R/t BDSM community.

Constrictor1 -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/1/2008 9:30:41 AM)
Hello HarryVanWinkle, I feel that upper and lower case protocols help with orientation identification. Sort of a way of knowing whether you are talking to a Dom or sub or switch. Unfortunately some individuals see the distinctions as a way to identify who they think they can cyber bully. courtesy should be the first rule but as you said many people are afraid to come out from behind their puter. Constrictor1

angelslave77 -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/1/2008 4:57:10 PM)
I chat frequently in the Australia chatroom on ALT and while there are no mods as such there are some regulars who try to keep a sense of order in the room. I also find ther is very little BDSM discussion at all aside from the ocasional talk of munches and parties. Much of it is everyday banter quite often between people who know each other r\t. One observation my Domly one made is that they can be cliquey and not terribly welcoming to newcomers especially if said newcomer is a young male Dom. But i have chated on parenting sites and fanboards and honestly i cant see a whole lotta difference. But then again i avoid those chatrooms where the uppercase lower case thing and other such protocols are in place as that just drives me bonkers, seriously who gives a shit if i use a capital A for my name, if people are that anal about stuff like that then we simply wont get along so i dont go there

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 9:08:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Constrictor1 Hello HarryVanWinkle, I feel that upper and lower case protocols help with orientation identification. Sort of a way of knowing whether you are talking to a Dom or sub or switch. Unfortunately some individuals see the distinctions as a way to identify who they think they can cyber bully. courtesy should be the first rule but as you said many people are afraid to come out from behind their puter. Constrictor1 It doesn't matter to me whether I'm talking to a dom, sub or switch; in all events, I'm talking to a human being who deserves, until he proves otherwise, the standard respect I believe in showing to all human beings. As such, I use standard English protocols, capping all names.

Missokyst -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 9:17:42 AM)
When I do visit chat rooms I try to choose rooms that avoid the protocals. I do like rules though. The one thing I hate about rooms is that many people do the online submission, or dominating right there in the room. Like it is supposed to impress people because they are sooooooo submissive or dominant, or bratty, or.. whatever. If people are really getting drinks why am I not getting drunk? Give me some reality. When I see that stuff I wonder how many people have really had a cock shoved down their throat, or seen a clit up close and personal. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire I do not believe that rules and protocols make for a better or worse chat room. If the rooms occupants are immature and rude than all the rules in the workld wont change that. In a mature and inteligent group, the rules dont need to be stated. Be it in D/s or other chats, most of the time i get fed up and leave when there are so many rules and protocols beign tossed around that it makes having an actual discussion nearly impossible.

LadyPact -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 9:25:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: uquestions quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle I use the SW chat room on the "A" site quite often. It's how I made a lot of friends in the Phoenix community. Their regional rooms are usually a bunch of people, most of whom know one another offline, shooting the breeze. I've found most of the collarme chatrooms to be pretty silly: people getting huffy about capitalization and so called "protocol." Do chat room protocols serve any useful purposes? DOes anyone know how or why capitalization entered into online D/s? I answered this recently somewhere else. I hope the following quote will apply. quote: Original: ladypact 8. Why do you do the "Caps" thing? It has largely to do with the fact that it is a directive that I have given My sub in his written words. When he writes to Me or posts on this site, he has been told to use this style of writing. It is a reminder of his submission to Me. Though not the norm, it is to help reinforce his place in a D/s dynamic. I can not ask it to be important to him, if it is also not important to Me. I hope this clears this up for some people.

DesFIP -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 9:38:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Constrictor1 Hello HarryVanWinkle, I feel that upper and lower case protocols help with orientation identification. Sort of a way of knowing whether you are talking to a Dom or sub or switch. Unfortunately some individuals see the distinctions as a way to identify who they think they can cyber bully. courtesy should be the first rule but as you said many people are afraid to come out from behind their puter. Constrictor1 But why should it matter what side of the slash you are on? If someone, of whatever gender or orientation is not trolling for partners, but just interested in the topic, then shouldn't the focus be on their words? Or do you think if a sub male says something, then it isn't worth anything but if the same comment comes from a dom it is? Gender and orientation do not change the value of a thought. As far as challenging the rules, it's rude. It's like an elementary school pupil standing up and whining why they have to learn punctuation. If you are confused about how and why, write the mod privately to ask such a question. That will get a better response than doing so in public.

Missokyst -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 9:43:48 AM)
Holy smokes! Now I remember why I don't visit many chat rooms. I saw a lot of that in rooms I have visited, people absolutely fawning over the "wisdom" that drops from the fingers of some dominant, yet completely missing when a submissive said that same thing minutes earlier. Yuck. Obsequience in chat rooms.. <<shudder>> Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Or do you think if a sub male says something, then it isn't worth anything but if the same comment comes from a dom it is? Gender and orientation do not change the value of a thought.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/17/2008 8:47:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst When I do visit chat rooms I try to choose rooms that avoid the protocals. I do like rules though. The one thing I hate about rooms is that many people do the online submission, or dominating right there in the room. Like it is supposed to impress people because they are sooooooo submissive or dominant, or bratty, or.. whatever. If people are really getting drinks why am I not getting drunk? Give me some reality. When I see that stuff I wonder how many people have really had a cock shoved down their throat, or seen a clit up close and personal. Kyst I also find the cyber kneeling and cyber kowtowing and cyber serving of cyber foods and cyber drinks to be silly. It does serve one very useful purpose though. When I go into a chat room that's new to me and see it, I know that's not my kind of room.

Evility -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/18/2008 2:54:12 AM)
I have been chatting for years in fetish channels on IRC and for the most part I haven't run into any of the negative issues that others here have experienced in non-IRC chat venues. I'm not entirely sure why this is so but I've seen many of the same complaints reiterated about chat rooms in the past. These channels are usually enjoyable places to hang out and mingle with others - quite often from far flung corners of the country and world. I met my submissive there. You have the occasional village idiot who wanders in but they are the exception rather than the rule.

hardbodysub -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/18/2008 3:57:46 AM)
I've encountered virtually nothing other than mindless drivel in chat rooms.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/18/2008 4:37:17 AM)
We’ve talked about the AOL chatrooms where many of us used to hang out before. The Southern Submissives was one I frequented and many of us there had met. We had even played together with one monumental party at 1763 in Atlanta. Since we had the dynamic of knowing each other with the occasional newbie thrown in, that room seemed to work a lot better. The dynamics of protocol in the room were simple enough. Most submissives called Doms Sir if they wanted out of respect. Now there were submissives who hadn’t been in the room long who didn’t follow the custom and no one criticized them. There were also those submissives who didn’t say Sir because they didn’t like a Dom or the Dom was new. That was all okay and no one was corrected. It was all informal and friendly. There were problems as there are in all social settings, but generally speaking it worked well. One problem is that it became almost incestuous the longer it lasted. It seemed like anyone you got to know had also been in a relationship or was in one with someone else. It would be like, “When I was with her I would do this.” Or, “When he was my Dom he would do this.” I left when the room became too complicated for me personally as I got to be involved with more submissives than I needed to know with the resultant backlash. Interestingly, the room ran its course and in due course died. Maybe everyone ran into the same problem I had eventually.

steviemichael -> RE: D/s and Chat (7/18/2008 4:41:05 AM)
chat rooms are laughable self inportant rules (Adm the law giver ) where rules are used to control any one persons subjective thought and experiences in order to communcate like little clones speaking all the same words(the correct words) so long that that commcation is on the same level of the Admins "dont do what i do .do has i think) where there are rules which are not LAW yet many think they are indeed law chat programs and owners of chat programs are 'conduit"the rules are NOT law but merly guidence and because they are not rules enforced by any one country they are changeable and the owners and those who build can have this thought if they choose Do what i say NOT what i do also one other point you can make a company accountable such as pal or any other chat program because it is simply a "conduit"

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