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RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 7:32:29 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I don't get to have sex, greasy, grimy "I've been working outside for hours"  sex.


You need a vacation, and I know a few manual laborers that need to get laid. Shall I hook you up?

(Obviously just my way of saying "Hi, Aqua!")



How did you know we've been talking about sending me on vacation?

quote:


Unlike the reality, my fantasies never feature the laundry basket...

... at least not as a background element.

We also had a problem with it's hard for me to feel threatened and in fear of my life when I can see all the pictures of us we have. The dried flowers from bouquets he's given me, from which I always save one and arrange in a vase with the others, also don't help.

quote:

I'm starting to understand why people may not show up for your meetings...
quote:



You mean to say she was serious?

I pegged it for a moderately funny comedy piece that just needed editing.



Eh... I took it as semi-serious, which is why I responded how I did. If I called it wrong, I'm certainly sorry for the snide remark. I've seen much harsher posted here that was fully serious.

quote:

What size are flagpoles over there?

I may be missing some cultural thing, 'cuz around here, the only way to ream anyone with a flagpole would be with a crane to get them on it, and cement boots to break the iliac open and pull them down on it. Which would obviously lead to an embarassing visit to the ER, at the very least.

If that is your idea of hot... I love it.

Health,
al-Aswad.



There I was assuming flagpole wasn't meant literally. While that could be enjoyable, I think I'd have to chicken out. However, I do have some dildos that scare my friends so hopefully it's not a complete let down. 

(Although... there are many flag poles of various sizes.. I mean, that little stick attach to miniature paper flags could be called a flag pole... )

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 7:36:08 PM   
SunnyTawse


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline 		Fast reply here.

I don't use the term "Lifestyler" much, but somewhere underneath it all, I do consider myself one. Why?

I consider myself a Lifestyler because all my friends are kinky. My hairdresser is kinky. My CPA is kinky. My car mechanic is kinky.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because ever since I started having orgasms at age 14, I've never once had an orgasm without doing or thinking bdsm.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because my mom knows I'm kinky, my boss knows I'm kinky, and my daughter knows I'm kinky. They don't know the fine points, but they do know if I'm seeing someone, she or he is submissive.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because I strive to live by the conventions we commonly accept: being honest, communicating openly, and basing my interactions on consent.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because I've published articles about bdsm, earned money from bdsm, and been referred vanilla clients through bdsm sources. The project that's most creative and dearest to my heart is a small company I run that's based on bdsm.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because I feel an obligation to pay forward the help and mentoring I've received over the years from individuals in the kink/ leather/ fetish community, and I feel an obligation to pay back the work that has gone into organizing the workshops, parties and other events I've enjoyed by organizing workshops, parties and other events for those just becoming familiar with the community now.

I consider myself a Lifestyler because when I look at my sweet, innocent, vulnerable, trusting submissive and want to hurt him, it makes me all warm and glowy inside... and yet, I adore him, I nurture him, and I protect him from anyone else who would hurt him.

YMMV.

Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina
Archon of Rings

http://AthenorLodge.com

(in reply to joyinslavery)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 7:38:01 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline

(in reply to SunnyTawse)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 7:55:43 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		Stella, i thought it was a brilliant post.  am i the only one that saw a lot of  "tongue in cheek" here?

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:19:15 PM   
welcomerain


Posts: 63
Joined: 5/28/2008
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

Stella, i thought it was a brilliant post.  am i the only one that saw a lot of  "tongue in cheek" here?


I think a fair number of people took it that way as well.

If I were to seriously dissect the OP, I would say that referring to the "BDSM lifestyle" is confusing. BDSM ("Bondage & Discipline, Sadism & Masochism") is a form of play. No one plays all the time, in or out of the scene.

D&S ("Domination and Submission"), on the other hand, can be both a form of play and also indicate certain lifestyle choices. A family with one specific head of household is different than a family with two equal partners. I think it is fair to talk about a "lifestyle" if a relationship is going to take on a certain form that is discussed going in. Especially if it is unconventional. If I marry a woman and take on her surname, that will be odd enough for people to ask questions. Having a "lifestyle preference" to refer to can allow me to deflect a lot of questions.

A relationship can involve very frequent BDSM play but not be in any way "lifestyle" if the people involved leave everything behind the bedroom door. A D&S lifestyle can involve no BDSM play at all.

So in a way it makes sense to make fun of "BDSM lifestylers". They've learned the language, but are not using the words right.

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:34:55 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		You mean this isn't the online auditions for High School Musical?!

I knew it, I just knew it.

Damn you all AND your enemas.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:36:30 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

How did you know we've been talking about sending me on vacation?


Just a hunch. Any chance you want to see a certain Unesco World Heritage Site?

( Hint: It's a short bus ride from Hotel Aswad. )

quote:

We also had a problem with it's hard for me to feel threatened and in fear of my life when I can see all the pictures of us we have. The dried flowers from bouquets he's given me, from which I always save one and arrange in a vase with the others, also don't help.


Ah, yes. I can see that posing some problems.

Here's a hint for him: "Oops... damn!" works wonders for inspiring fear.

quote:

I've seen much harsher posted here that was fully serious.


Too true.

quote:

There I was assuming flagpole wasn't meant literally. While that could be enjoyable, I think I'd have to chicken out. However, I do have some dildos that scare my friends so hopefully it's not a complete let down. 


That works, too.

For what it's worth, my dildos would probably scare some of my buddies. -lol-

quote:

(Although... there are many flag poles of various sizes.. I mean, that little stick attach to miniature paper flags could be called a flag pole... )


Reminds me of a porn pic (hogtied?) of an asian girl tied to a table, "holding" a vase.

I think that would liven up the Constitution Day (17th of May) parade quite a bit.

Unfortunately, I doubt the police would forgive me for waving her around.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:50:52 PM   
Strongmindbody


Posts: 264
Joined: 5/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

...they're as ugly as a boxer licking piss off a dock leaf...



I have NO idea what that means, but the image fills me with woe...

Let me start by being sorta serious: despite the legitimate (and neverending) carps about the lifestyle, this board has surprised me with the number of bright, insightful, self aware, curious, growing, even witty people who post here. Sure, there are the usual trolls, cads, and attention seekers, but there is some pretty intense honesty here, including the hilarious OP for this thread. So despite the fun, colorful (and all too often accurate) picture in the OP, I'm not quite ready to call bullshit on the whole lifestyle.

Even so, I have certainly seen the described scenarios happen to others. Over and over. And Gris, I have seen others played just as you described, sometimes worse. But I also see it happen at the local vanilla bar down the street...

And with that, my hat's off to an entertaining parody of the usual posts on why I can't get exactly what I want whenever I want it 'cause everyone else is fake or something and it can't possibly be due to any need for self accountability on my part... Or whatever.

_____________________________

So, electricity comes from electrons, and thus does morality obviously come from morons...

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:52:06 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
The BDSM 'lifestyle' is nothing more than your need for validation, social approval, acceptance. There is no BDSM 'lifestyle'. It's bull.


Hold your cards, folks. We have a bingo.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:54:21 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Uh huh....
 
LOOKIT ME!!!!!!!!  LOOKIT ME!!!!!!
 
I'm one of the COOL KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 


_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 8:55:15 PM   
Floggings4You


Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline 		From the OP:
 
"The only lifestyle here is the one you yourself are living. When you do eventually find yourself in a successful relationship with someone who accepts you for you and you accept them for them and you both share combined kinks and interests harmoniously then you also share your own lifestyle. "
 
That's God-damned right.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 9:09:37 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline 		What a great combination of vitrol and truth stella. I opened this one up expecting another pointless rant and have been pleasantly surprised. Good one!

On a side note: What's wrong with the chili peppers?

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 9:40:06 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		There seems to be a negative tone running around the message board in the last few days.   People are letting some steam out.

Part of me feels like venting too.  There are days when I feel like some odd-ball or misfit, when I compare myself to some of the crazy things people post online.

The BDSM lifestyle is simply a sub-culture in society where I happen to fit into.  It's not all about D/s for me either.   In fact, I often think or suspect some people get so wrapped up in D/s they can't pull their heads out their asses to see reality.

I honestly don't know or understand completely what reality is for some people.  For me it's something called life.  Sex and Kink is part of my life.  I enjoy these things, I enjoy doing these things with somebody else who enjoys these things.

I don't take my orientation so seriously, that I forget to lighten up, laugh and have fun.  Do other things besides BDSM activities.  That I don't have to have or maintain mindless control over somebody either.   I tend to have some form of method to my personal madness in life.  Some form of Ethics and logic that's rooted in day to day living.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 9:44:30 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		If you cannot learn to laugh at yourself-everyone else will.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 9:45:58 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		hahaha, brilliant post Stella, and love the new picture

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/29/2008 11:29:36 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The BDSM 'lifestyle' is nothing more than your need for validation, social approval, acceptance. There is no BDSM 'lifestyle'. It's bull.

stella


Stella it's just a phrase.  Some people enjoy using it.  Others don't. Why agonise over what other people may be doing, especialy people you only 'know' from the 'net?
 
Have a glass of wine dear.
 
candystripper -- despiser of the acronym "WWITWD'

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/30/2008 12:13:50 AM   
MsValentine


Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline 		Lifestyle...take the two words apart, well all of us who are still breathing have a life, oh yes, we do...in some cases it might not appear so but it's true. Style...a way of doing something, so lifestyle is a way of doing our lives.

I tend to agree that we may all be into bdsm in some way but our differences may be greater than our similarities. A bdsm lifestyle would be almost impossible to categorise and see if people did the same things. Bdsm as we all know breaks down into smaller elements of our play and kinks but in the case of D/s I think there could be a case for calling it a lifestyle.

D/s with it's dynamic of dominance and submission can be a way of describing the way in which certain people, myself included, live our lives. It may not be the whole of our lives as we have non-bdsm bits to all our lives, those lovely vanilla bits we either love or hate but must endure either way.

D/s can be an ongoing 24/7 dynamic ( although it needn't be) and as such can shape the way people live. I know from my friends who are also in 24/7 D/s relationships either as subs, slaves or Masters and Mistresses, we share a lot in common with each other that we may not do with people solely into say SM play alone or schoolboy/teacher roleplay with CP.

Having said all that, while there may be similarities enough to use the term lifestyle as a quick definition of a 24/7 D/s situation, we all acknowledge the differences we all have. Being under an umbrella term lifestyle does not make us identical, merely having an important part of our lives in common.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/30/2008 3:58:32 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

If you cannot learn to laugh at yourself-everyone else will.


Absofuckinlutely! And it is even more fun, to laugh at those that cannot laugh at themselves.... At least that's been my personal experience.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/30/2008 4:10:35 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Okay, so now we're real time. Female submissives, this one's for you. How many of you really enjoy having some Dom's rough, grimy hands all over your beautifully scented, apricot scrubbed 'Body Shopped' to perfection skin?


ME! ME! ME!

The PERFECT day is spent fishing and working outside...and when we come inside and he's all sweaty and grimey and fishy and well, he smells just absolutely wonderful (I don't get it either, but he does)..

I will sit there absolutely TREMBLING... praying he'll touch me.

And when he does... and ESPECIALLY when touching involves me going down on him... and him running his hands all over my body...

I'm absolutely in heaven.

In short, I'll take him smelling of aftershave and cologne or smelling of sweat and fish. If it's him, it's ALL good.

juliet


(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The BDSM lifestyle is just a pile of bullshit.. - 6/30/2008 4:16:08 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Wow stella...my version of the "lifestyle" is nothing at all like yours.
Thank God.  Makes one wonder what the common demominator is in all of your bdsm relationships.

_____________________________



(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 60
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