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WhatUrSeeking -> RE: The "B" in BDSM (6/29/2008 9:30:26 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
One of the things I personally find a little odd -- admittedly as a person with relatively little experience in the BDSM scene -- is that there often seems to be relatively little bondage in it. At least, the dommes I have played with seem to generally use it rather minimally, and there hasn't been a whole lot at the play parties I have been to (which have mostly been femdom-oriented).
I personally really enjoy being bound, and would like to experience a lot more of it, in frequency, variety, and duration. I don't necessarily even have to have much done to me while bound; just the experience would be enough. (Though being at least mildly teased and tormented in certainly a nice addition.)
It seems like almost a niche kind of thing, with most people much more into things like flogging. Aside from perhaps the shibari fans. And understandably, they seem to strongly prefer female victims/models. Were I female and twenty or twenty-five years younger, my ambition would be to model for the House of Gord site...oh. my. god.
So, am I kind of out there on this one? Or am I just finding the wrong people, or the wrong circumstances? Or is it more of a male dom thing? Just curious what others have experienced.
You are right about the Shibari fans loving bondage statistically the D is more likely male and an s is more likely female, but it is close. According to the study I read almost 65% of women that associate with BDSM consider themselves primarily submissives. This was almost an exact inverse. A little over 40% of males that are into BDSM identify themselves as primarily submissives. Therefore yes women subs are in more demand but then there is a lower supply of male subs. The laws of supply and demand say you should be just fine. Most of the shibari porn pics are female, but that does not mean that this is the same in private. Men like porn more than women do. The majority of men are hetero, so it makes sense that most porn picks, including shibari, focus on female models.
Anyway I would highly recommend Shibaricon in Chicago in March. This is an annual weekend convention centered around rope bondage. Mostly shibari style but also western rope bondage. Everyone there is a bondage enthusiast. It rocks. I took a submissive with me in 2007 and will likely go again next year. You would do better to find a Domme to take you, but it really is not necessary. At a minimum you will get tied into the right network of people and learn some cool stuff. There will certainly be some singles with rope and no one to tie. The only thing is that they might not be your ideal partner.
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