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AAkasha -> Exhaustion, stress and femdom urges (6/30/2008 12:13:01 PM)
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I'm wondering if any kinked women have cycles or desires that fluctuate quite like mine, because I'm really trying to figure out the chicken-and-egg nature of it. I used to keep journals in college trying to analyze the same thing, and thought I kind of had it figured out, but now I am not so sure any more. The question is this: Does lack of sleep, your level of stress (good or bad) or feeling run down make you more "femdom horny"?
I'll define "femdom horny" as the urge to dominate. Dominating a man, to me, is like eating. I can do it any time, I can enjoy it any time, and I like regular doses of it. However, there are times I get "starving" and very distracted and it's a VERY different feeling. I feel emotionally different and physically different. I feel different in my own skin. I kind of get body aches, almost flu-like symptoms. You know how you felt in college when you pulled an all-nighter studying for exams and kind of feel out-of-body almost?
But more importantly, I see everything through a "femdom lens" - I can't help but have inappropriate thoughts about men I may see on the street or sit across the room from in a boardroom. I find myself searching for images and videos of men tied up. Visuals that may have gotten a small "perk" of interest from me instead get a long, pondering examination. It's all I can think about. This is when I fixate on someone or some thing and work toward a much more intense "release" that generally involves either more preparation or something different, and at the very least must have a higher level of intensity than usual. Once I get past that point, I go through an unusual drop in interest for kink that lasts about 3 days. I also sleep a ton.
Now, here's the chicken and egg part. Is the lack of sleep and intense stress (good or bad, ie, a very big work project peaking) the cause of it - or is the lack of sleep and the way I view/handle stress a RESPONSE to it? I don't sleep as much when I am "distracted" because I am more likely to read, watch things, or fantasize or "play." The body aches and kind of surreal feelings physically are probably a physical reaction to not getting enough rest, nothing more - as I get older I think I am more in touch with my body as it relates to what I eat and how I treat it, and now I see that being run down creates a low-level fever/illness almost, as sometimes the body aches are accompanied by a slight sniffle but never an outright cold.
That said, maybe the timing of the urges are just fairly random, nothing more. I used to think the lack of sleep/stress CAUSED them, now I am thinking it's really just the opposite.
Regardless, I'm curious if other femdoms have a heightened sense of desire related to stress or sleep levels.
Akasha
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