RE: Emotional Submissive

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twistedEuphoria -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/30/2008 8:12:28 AM)
I've decided to pop out of my voyeur self and post on this wonderful thread. I had to really sit and think about this and I find the question an awesome one. Often times I'm willing to give the very basic portion of who I am to someone. Not as in I give it to everyone I come across but when I submit it's a very physical thing. Physical does not have to mean sexual. I like doing things for people. I can do this without a strong emotional attachment. There has to be some mutal like going on but my service does not have to be based on emotions. When someone starts poking and digging around for something deeper from me, I'll run screaming. It's not that I don't want to be able to put the entirety of me on a platter and say "Here, this is yours" that idea just scares the ever living crap out of me. I'll trust someone with my life before I'll trust them with my heart. I think in the end the the physical part is the easy part. "I like you so I'll make your life easier by doing this and this." The emotional is truly surrendering your will and letting go of any preconceived notion of who you are as a person. You trust and allow that other person of your choosing to mold you into your true potential. At least, in my opinion. :)

smartalex -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/30/2008 11:58:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Mental and emotional submission is really all that there is. If you look the words up, and follow the definitions around, you may end up where I did, thinking that submission is a conscious act, its emotional and mental. That, along with the knowledge that the mind is the biggest erogenous zone most people have, is the key for me.

CookieSlave -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/30/2008 6:20:29 PM)
twistedEuphoria - thank you, that was very enlightening, actually. Now, curious.. do the two always follow through? You pointed out that there can be physical w/out emotional, but what about the other way around? What about emotional w/out physical? I'm sorry if someone answered this in this thread already.. I've been reading a lot and it's starting to blur! ;-) My first post, btw.. how'd I do? :-) --cs

twistedEuphoria -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 6:27:25 AM)
Cookie- Emotional without the physical? Huuum....being that I am obviously a physical being, I don't think I could do the emotional without the physical. I crave the physical like a drug. If I couldn't physically serve my current Owner I'd go ape shit. If he didn't expect anything in that realm from me I don't know if I could honestly handle that. So much of my service is manifested within a physical form. Even the stuff that is pure emotion (ask me about him and I and the Wii fitness board) has a physical element to it. Be it expressed in whatever form. I can seperate the emotional from the physical to a certain degree. I have to at least like the person I'm serving. I can not seperate the physical from the emotional. Because we as humans are so grounded in the physical it's near impossible to throw it out. Think of it this way, if my Owner never saw any physical element to my service what good would I be to him? Sure, it might make him happy for a while that I was completely devoted to him emotionally and all of that but after a while wouldn't it just get old? If there was no outlet to this emotion it would be an invisible thing he couldn't do shit with. I pray this makes sense I tried my best to express my thoughts and views. Let me know if you need or would like any thing to be clarified. By the way, great first post. :)

shadowcd -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 7:41:31 AM)
I view myself as fairly emotional everyone is different however. It's not even something I really think about often but from the times I have this is my conclusions as they apply to myself. The emotional connection I have with someone sets my limits, the more emotionally attached I am the less limits I have. There is a line between a full D/s relationship and just a play partner, I can't describe in words where this line is only that is has to do with how much emotional connection I have with someone. This is different for everyone in D/s as it is in vanilla relationships. So what does it mean to submit emotionally? To me it means that I do things out of love and not just because it's fun or I enjoy it. Which is why I have less limits with a strong emotional connection because I will be doing it out of love and thus my own enjoyment comes second. Without that connection my own enjoyment of an activity becomes far more important and I will not want to do things I don't enjoy, this of course is fine for just casual play partners. But I expect and need to place a partner first for D/s which makes the emotional connection perhaps the most important aspect for my own happiness. Submiting physically is the easy part, submiting emotionally is not something that can be easily explained at least not by me.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 10:01:02 AM)
I certainly think I am an owner who enjoys playing on the emotional side of things more than the physical. The physical has to be there, without question, but it can be used as a tool to unlock the slave's innermost feelings. You can force a slave to kneel, and that can be fun...but the real fun begins when the slave realizes that she is not happy unless she is being forced to kneel. And that has nothing to do with the physical act. Taggard

Leatherist -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 12:55:03 PM)
Intimacy. Me into you, you into me. Learning to overcome fear-and to heal it if it's sick-or let it go. It can be a double edged sword if you choose poorly. You can end up poisoned, rather than nourished.

angelwithhonor -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 1:06:17 PM)
...for me like twisted and shadow, i have to be emotionally attached to truly serve. if i just served ,just to serve. for just the phyiscal part of the D/s would not truly get my very being of servance. and the more i am emotionally attached ie in love, would bring more servance and less limits. i have said this many times to Dominants, and most understand this point. not to say that others cant serve or arent truly serving without the emotional attachments. its just for me, its a want its a must. [:)]

silkncarol -> RE: Emotional Submissive (7/31/2008 1:53:53 PM)
I agree with these statements....... i can bottom to someone for the physical, without submitting.....but i find it more fulfilling when there is a mental and emotional connection.......when i can't do anything else but surrender my complete self to them...... quote: ORIGINAL: smartalex quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Mental and emotional submission is really all that there is. If you look the words up, and follow the definitions around, you may end up where I did, thinking that submission is a conscious act, its emotional and mental. That, along with the knowledge that the mind is the biggest erogenous zone most people have, is the key for me.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/1/2008 11:06:18 PM)
i am a submissive to my M'Lady and the longer i know her and more i have learned to trust her the more emotionally attached W/we have become. currently W/we are a poly family, i have accepted her collar and am proud to be her submissive i am emotionally attached to her and A/all of O/our family.

WarriorsGirl -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 11:59:01 AM)
For me, it's all emotional and mental. What I do physically with and for him? Part of the enjoyment is going through the battles in my brain to come to the point of whatever submissive act is expected of me. I go through the same type of battle with my emotions. I can actually feel me pushing myself to be honest and forthright with what I tell him and what he knows about me. Even this, now, writing this, what seems to be a fairly innocuous paragraph.....he will read this at some point, a thought that prior to him would have made me cringe. But laying myself out for him in every way is what makes me his in a much deeper way than any physical act could achieve. There are expectations of both of us in our relationship. I am to reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation. He is to openly and freely communicate with me. Subtle difference. We are always honest with each other, but I am his to examine, both mentally and physically. It's a struggle to not hide behind walls or defenses, but it's not an altogether unpleasurable one.

BelleMorte1969 -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 1:24:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twistedEuphoria I've decided to pop out of my voyeur self and post on this wonderful thread. I had to really sit and think about this and I find the question an awesome one. Often times I'm willing to give the very basic portion of who I am to someone. Not as in I give it to everyone I come across but when I submit it's a very physical thing. Physical does not have to mean sexual. I like doing things for people. I can do this without a strong emotional attachment. There has to be some mutal like going on but my service does not have to be based on emotions. When someone starts poking and digging around for something deeper from me, I'll run screaming. It's not that I don't want to be able to put the entirety of me on a platter and say "Here, this is yours" that idea just scares the ever living crap out of me. I'll trust someone with my life before I'll trust them with my heart. I think in the end the the physical part is the easy part. "I like you so I'll make your life easier by doing this and this." The emotional is truly surrendering your will and letting go of any preconceived notion of who you are as a person. You trust and allow that other person of your choosing to mold you into your true potential. At least, in my opinion. :) Well said! Thanks for popping in! [sm=cute.gif] Lord, what fools these mortals be.......

twistedEuphoria -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 4:45:13 PM)
Thank you so much!!

mbes -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 10:37:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkVictory Well, to me, it means giving up a specific axis of rights. The right to be right, and the right to be justified. Giving up the right to dominate your partner with your opinion, your wishes, your desires. Giving up being the center of attention. Giving up being defensive and justified as your due. Thank you for your post, it gave me a great deal to think about, and I believe I've found something that clarifies some things for me. [:)]

shanaya -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 10:59:19 PM)
*A really good question [:)] in my experience having fully submitted to my ex Dominant , the difference is huge.* When i experienced a "play partner" only it was following by route. do A and B or C happens, so logically i didn't want C so i did A and B. I definitely enjoyed the pyhsical sensations ( well most ) but found there were certainly even pyhsical acts of limit that in my mind were very submissive to me personally ( meaning acts like swallowing i couldn't do with this Dominant ) Also with my Dominant not only did i do acts that to me were deeply submissive, but i found great joy in doing as i was told to. And it broke my heart to dissapoint him, so i tried to not only give him pleasure pyhsically but also mentally. To me that is where is becomes Ds, the minds meet in your and His space. where he knows you so well he can read where your mind is at, and you can also tell by His body language etc where His is at. For me there is no feeling quite like it and it weaves such a deep , emotional tie between the two of Y/you. Also the feeling of being owned is not present with a play partner , as they don't own you or your submission or heart ...... *Although i enjoyed my play partner that night, it didn't come even slightly close to satsifying me in a Ds sense.* *i hope this is of some help* *Best of luck* ~shanaya~

leadership527 -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/2/2008 11:07:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twistedEuphoria I think in the end the the physical part is the easy part. "I like you so I'll make your life easier by doing this and this." The emotional is truly surrendering your will and letting go of any preconceived notion of who you are as a person. You trust and allow that other person of your choosing to mold you into your true potential. At least, in my opinion. :) Yup, this is where I was going also. Invading my girl's body is so so much less invasive than her letting me fiddle around with her intellect and emotions. I have somewhat jokingly called it "doing surgery on her soul". To me, at least, her knowingly allowing me to do that is the highest form of trust.

bbwsubbynyc -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/3/2008 1:51:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: ORIGINAL: missNoMEr What does it mean to REALLY submit mentally & emotionally? I know about physical & sexual. Help clarify this for me plz. I am away from my master now & when I go back I want to start being a full subbie, so I want to first understand these terms miss, this is a new one on me. I'd suggest you reflect on what pleases your master and what you can do to better achieve that. Silly terms on a web site won't give you any insight into that. BTW, if you do not feel an emotional connection with your master, IMO you have a play partner -- a real D/s dynamic is primarially mental and emotional. But hey, that's JMO. candystripper I like this answer. I agree with it. I know I'm connected emotionally when I can't disobey. I just can't. To do so would be horrifying to me. But with a play partner I could care less and I'm in it just to satisfy myself and nothing more.

bbwsubbynyc -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/3/2008 2:01:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RealSub58 quote: ORIGINAL: bbwsubbynyc This makes a lot of sense to me. I just discovered this recently in fact. I was getting a spanking from a friend and unable to go deep into my subspace even tho I was close to cumming. Then I thought back on a spanking I took the week before with someone with whom I'd like to be more than play partners and with him I went in deep even tho I wasn't anywhere near cuming and that spanking didn't last as long. It occured to me that the determining factor on how deep I go into subspace isn't what's being done to me, it's how much of myself I surrender to the person doing things to me. I had to ask myself what it is I actually do surrender and it's turns out to be an emotional/mental thing. It doesn't really matter what it is exactly, it's just something I feel that either no longer belongs to me, or is something that I'm willing to share. I understood the true meaning of the word surrender at that point. The only sense this makes to me is that going into subspace is surrender. Is that what you are saying? I'm still learning how to navigate this forum and I'm only just now seeing this post. Yes and no. For me how quickly I go deep is a measure of how much I've surrendered. The faster I get there means, I've become more willing to being open and vulnerable to that person. That's just me. It's not something I'm always conscious of either.

bbwsubbynyc -> RE: Emotional Submissive (8/3/2008 2:03:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally3 quote: ORIGINAL: RealSub58 quote: ORIGINAL: bbwsubbynyc This makes a lot of sense to me. I just discovered this recently in fact. I was getting a spanking from a friend and unable to go deep into my subspace even tho I was close to cumming. Then I thought back on a spanking I took the week before with someone with whom I'd like to be more than play partners and with him I went in deep even tho I wasn't anywhere near cuming and that spanking didn't last as long. It occured to me that the determining factor on how deep I go into subspace isn't what's being done to me, it's how much of myself I surrender to the person doing things to me. I had to ask myself what it is I actually do surrender and it's turns out to be an emotional/mental thing. It doesn't really matter what it is exactly, it's just something I feel that either no longer belongs to me, or is something that I'm willing to share. I understood the true meaning of the word surrender at that point. The only sense this makes to me is that going into subspace is surrender. Is that what you are saying? im pretty sure that isnt what she's saying, but im sure she'll come along and clarify for you. i think the highlighted bit is the important statement here. i looked back at my childhood spankings a while back and i remember a time came when i just didnt feel it anymore - i subspaced and blocked the pain and humiliation out. subspace comes along and translates what youre feeling on a physical level, but its the emotional aspect that heightens the submission and makes it more than just a spanking - emotional submission takes you in deeper to a place where the sensations are secondary (generally speaking, depending on levels, deliverance etc) to the feelings of surrender you have for the D you are with. Yes, exactly that.

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