to rebel or submit (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

shadowcd -> to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 2:40:03 PM)

I'm curious what most Ds preffer?  I tend to rebel some as from my past experiance it seemed to be more fun for both of us if I tried to escape or was disobiediant to some degree.  I have noticed on some profiles that some Ds want pure 100% submission and to not question or resist.  But never see any looking for unruley subs.
  In many ways I would love to just give myself completly but in reality most women seem to get bored of this really quick :p  So I'm curious what others think:
A true submissive that knows their place without question or one that needs to be put in their place?



darchChylde -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 2:49:17 PM)

Forget what a "true" submissive would do.  Do what feels right for you and seek someone that works for; if you have to go against what is natural to you, eventually you will resent yourself and the person who you're submitting to.



LolaBabalon -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 3:04:48 PM)

I agree with darchChyld. I would never expect each and every slave to behave the same way - part of the fun for me is different interactions you have with different people. Hell, even your interactions with the same person can vary day to day. Sometimes I am in a playful mood, and a little bit of disobedience can be fun. I would never tolerate true disobedience, but you can be a little naughty while still "knowing your place". 



Shawn1066 -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 3:29:42 PM)

Out and out rebellion really wouldn't be tolerated in -our- relationship.  I'm allowed to question decisions, and perhaps even debate them if I feel strongly.  However, when it comes down to decision time, I'm expected to fall in line and defer to her judgement.  This is something I have absolutely no qualms with.

I am allowed to be playful.  I am allowed to struggle during play--not that it does anygood-and I am allowed to kid around to a great degree.  I'm allowed to be myself, by and large.  Part of being myself, you surely understand, is embracing my role as the submissive--the slave--in our relationship. 

So really, in the end, there's no confliction of any kind.

It works for us quite beautifully...but only you can really figure out what dynamic works best for you.  It's cliche advice, but it's also very true advice.

DV's Fox



pixelslave -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 9:23:59 PM)

I'd agree with darch that each dynamic is going to be unique and take on it's own flavor.  Find what works for you and go for it.  As for me, what you describe wouldn't work.  I certainly may be playful at times and have a mind of my own, but ultimately my goal is to please my Mistress. [8D]
 
I dislike conflict and seek to live in harmony with a Mistress.  Taking on the role of a "brat" or a SAM wouldn't work for me and would go against my nature.  If I were to disobey a Mistress, we'd have to sit down and discuss what was wrong, but that's just me and I don't expect the dynamic of other couples to be the same as what mine and the Mistress I hope to eventually serve would be. [&:]
 
I know from experience that it takes a great deal of trust combined with an inner strength to submit fully to a woman.  That kind of thing doesn't happen overnight, but it's absolutely magical when it does.  Perhaps when you make that kind of connection with a woman, your desires to resist will disappear. [;)]
 
 - pixel



shadowcd -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 11:13:35 PM)

I generally want to live in harmony but have been told several times that they get bored with that :P     which I guess is why Im curious.   I'm definitly rebelious at the start but hope that I can be tamed..  as of yet that hasnt' happened but I've mostly only been invovled with switches.     I want to find someone where I wouldn't even think of resisting.   But I aggree with you pixel that is the kind of connection I seek but find it difficult to really submit that fully with anyone I've been involved with so far.   Suppose that's why I asked, though.  Sometimes I think about finding someone that will just train me to let go easier,  but something inside me says that is something I want to save for my eventual life mate. :)  we shall see I guess. 



bashfulhuck -> RE: to rebel or submit (6/30/2008 11:56:21 PM)

For me, there is a huge difference between how I might act when in play with my Domina, and in our general lives around eachother.
When I'm on a rack, especially in public play, and she is playing with me, I might get a little bratty and show some attitude, at least until she's pushed me to the point where my Lizard brain takes over. It makes her laugh, she has alot of fun with it, and I know not to push it too far. However, in our lives outside of playtime, I don't rebel, or act bratty. I might be playful at times with her, but not disrespectful. She's the Alpha between the two of us, I know it, our friends know it, and I'm completely and totally at ease with it. In life, my role with her is as her slave, her property, I don't rebel, and I am at peace.

Peace and serenity
bashfulhuck



MsValentine -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 12:28:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd

I'm curious what most Ds preffer? I tend to rebel some as from my past experiance it seemed to be more fun for both of us if I tried to escape or was disobiediant to some degree. I have noticed on some profiles that some Ds want pure 100% submission and to not question or resist. But never see any looking for unruley subs.
In many ways I would love to just give myself completly but in reality most women seem to get bored of this really quick :p So I'm curious what others think:
A true submissive that knows their place without question or one that needs to be put in their place?


For casual play sessions I wouldn't mind someone temporarily testing my authority but only in small ways. I am not into fighting subs into submission.

In my 24/7 relationship I desire and get complete obedience from my loving, willing and devoted sub. Our dynamic works upon his being a service oriented sub who loves to please. He is not a doormat though as he has his own ideas and views and is a strong and successful person in work. The joy of his complete obedience is that he works hard at achieving it. He has to learn to accept my will and put his own in wraps.

My personal fear with bratty or unruly subs would be that they would show me up in public at a scene event and I would be mortified. I like a sub who is even tempered and ordered so that I know what he is going to be like at all times.

Having said all that, everyone will have different opinions on this and these are only mine.



shadowcd -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 1:45:20 AM)

I can see your point on public play and that is definitly not something i would view as optional atleast for me.   For me I would be more likely to rebel by trying to get free and have gotten pretty good at getting lose :P   Ofcourse things like this can be quickly be prevented by someone that will tie me up so that it's not an option.  simply telling me to stay doesn't work, though it could if I was trained.   I am untrained though and unless someone is willing to give me obideance training (which I am more then happy to submit to)  chances are i will have minor rebelians.    In public it's a whole nother ball game so to speak.  I am extreamly submissive in public as am very shy,  most of the time I will pretty much remain silent unless spoken to. 



MamaDomme1 -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 6:49:40 AM)

I don't think that I would be able to tolerate a bratty sub.  Just not my cuppa.

I don't mind a little playfulness, but outright rebellion will make me turn around and walk away real quick.  But then, I'm a kind of *put up or shut up* kind of person, for the most part.



Coupleofwhats -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 8:44:06 AM)

I'm not into fighting a sub: a little sass or whining is fine, but that's about it.

I guess it depends on what you're looking to get out of the relationship. For me, a lot of the underlying thrill is that someone trusts me enough to hand themselves over. If I have to fight them for it... it just feels abusive.



shadowcd -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 8:57:34 AM)

Seems to be fairly  universal that a sub should submit maybe playfully resist a little but know the limits of what the Dom will accept and not cross that line.   Thanks all who have responded, this gives me a much better general idea of things :)



Lockit -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 12:24:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd

I can see your point on public play and that is definitly not something i would view as optional atleast for me.   For me I would be more likely to rebel by trying to get free and have gotten pretty good at getting lose :P   Ofcourse things like this can be quickly be prevented by someone that will tie me up so that it's not an option.  simply telling me to stay doesn't work, though it could if I was trained.   I am untrained though and unless someone is willing to give me obideance training (which I am more then happy to submit to)  chances are i will have minor rebelians.    In public it's a whole nother ball game so to speak.  I am extreamly submissive in public as am very shy,  most of the time I will pretty much remain silent unless spoken to. 


It sounds to me like you are calling the shots here.  If they train me in such and such a way, I will submit and behave, but if they don't, I do as I please.  It also sounds as if you are playing a game and are seeking attention.  If that is okay with your dominant, cool, but don't expect that to be the case with every dominant.

If I tie someone, no matter what stage of the training process and it is my process, they better stay tied.  BUT... if I tie someone, I am not far enough away for them to do anything I don't know about.  I expect a willing submissive and I don't play games.  If they want my attention they have it, but if they wish to get it by behaving like they need a parent, I suggest they get a parent.  They need a mommy, not a domme.

They are free to discuss things and be a major part of 'our' dynamic's, but to tell me how they need to be trained, what they will or will not accept or pay attention to... too much drama and hassle for me.



LadyPhoenixRisen -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 1:21:31 PM)

I think there is a big difference between being disobedient and being playful.  My pup and I are playful reasonably often which is fine.  He also knows that when I out and out tell him to do something that I mean it.

I am not really into bratty or rebellious subs, but I know some others are.  If that is something you are don't try to change it for anyone else.  Be true to what you are looking for and you will find someone that wants the same dynamic.

Phoenix



Politesub53 -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 5:28:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd

Seems to be fairly  universal that a sub should submit maybe playfully resist a little but know the limits of what the Dom will accept and not cross that line.   Thanks all who have responded, this gives me a much better general idea of things :)


I think its important to try and establish boundaries as soon as possible, and once established, dont cross them. Many dominas will find a bratty submissive makes their life harder, when he should be making it easier.

As for training to keep still, i am willing to bet that if someone you cared for said " Keep still or there`s the door " that you would learn not to move real fast. The point here is, its all about taking notice of whats said, and i think the onus is more on us, as we are the submissive partners.



LaMistressa -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 5:56:50 PM)

I don't mind some playful sassiness during a fun or casual scene, but I will not tolerate a noncompliant attitude. I can assert my dominance and establish my authority, but if I am constantly having to regain ground, I'm just going to walk away and find a more appropriate focus for my attention. 



LotusSong -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/1/2008 6:09:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowcd

A true submissive that knows their place without question or one that needs to be put in their place?


I prefer a submissive who knows what *I* want.  I'm of the school of  "Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way".



shadowcd -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/3/2008 7:58:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

I think its important to try and establish boundaries as soon as possible, and once established, dont cross them. Many dominas will find a bratty submissive makes their life harder, when he should be making it easier.As for training to keep still, i am willing to bet that if someone you cared for said " Keep still or there`s the door "

that you would learn not to move real fast. The point here is, its all about taking notice of whats said, and i think the onus is more on us, as we are the submissive partners.


Yes I think my odds seem much better if I just do what i'm told  :P    and yes definitly if someone said stay still or theres the door you can bet i wouldn't be moving again till I was told.    I get pretty scared to be rejected which is pretty much what has molded me into a sub over the years.   "Do as I say or gtfo"   works wonders on me though I don't really like that form of training it really stresses me out in an unhealthy way :(   and for the most part has been done to me in regular non D/s relationships  well not offical ones anyway but obviously still D/s.



vampchick88 -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/3/2008 2:29:25 PM)

 To me pet is the perfect ideal for me, he is submissive yet playful and sometimes fiesty. I like the mix of things. he's not a brat or annoying, yet he keeps me on my toes and can make me giggle when I'm upset. he can be a hard one when he's fiesty but I enjoy the challenge almost like I'm settling him down. he's not like any other sub I've ever met, he brings such joy to me. overall to answer the question he both submits and rebels depending on his mood. But hey, its is nature and I enjoy it thats all that matters.
Be who you are naturally, you shouldn't have to try to change yourself. There will be a dominant who enjoys you for who you are and what you bring to the table.

         ~Lorelei



GoddessTeaze -> RE: to rebel or submit (7/4/2008 6:08:29 AM)

Last year I met a sub, or should I say a rebel.
he wanted to become Mine, and I took him on,
I like a challenge, but damn..
I had to fight him every step of the way, or he Me.
I quickly grew tired, and let him go.

Bdsm is a choise, either you want to submit or ya don't.
And Im not gonna force ya towards that.
That's not My cuppa T , nor My cookie.

So I wish you luck in finding the one for you :)

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125