sub that just quit

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Larry862 -> sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:11:36 PM)
I had a slave that I found on a different site but she is also a member of this site that all of a sudden has quit making contact. I went to send her an short note on here to get a message back that I was blocked. This is all after last week her sending me an email saying she is my slave and will always remember it. I feel compelled to release her handle so others are truly warned about her, but will not. I do want to let all subs/slaves know that it is only fair to let someone you have agreed to serve know whats going on and if things for any reason appear to not be working out let the Dom know and given a chance to see if it can be remedied. Course not all things can but some can. It is EXTREMELY unfair to just leave a Dom you have made a promise to with no explanation or communication that something is wrong. This slave sent the last email and then just disappeared. She knows who she is and hopefully she will realize that she has acted inproperly! Thanks for letting me rant.......

girl4you2 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:18:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Larry862 I had a slave that I found on a different site but she is also a member of this site that all of a sudden has quit making contact. I went to send her an short note on here to get a message back that I was blocked. This is all after last week her sending me an email saying she is my slave and will always remember it. I feel compelled to release her handle so others are truly warned about her, but will not. I do want to let all subs/slaves know that it is only fair to let someone you have agreed to serve know whats going on and if things for any reason appear to not be working out let the Dom know and given a chance to see if it can be remedied. Course not all things can but some can. It is EXTREMELY unfair to just leave a Dom you have made a promise to with no explanation or communication that something is wrong. This slave sent the last email and then just disappeared. She knows who she is and hopefully she will realize that she has acted inproperly! Thanks for letting me rant....... while i cannot speak for anyone, i would perhaps suggest that the relationship be looked at for answers. was this a real time experience, or one that had only been online? how long was this person enslaved to you, and what were the expectations expressed up front as to how long this would last, what would ensue were one to be unhappy, etc. it is honourable that you did not give out her name (i don't think you'd be allowed anyway) for many reasons. perhaps, given time, the two of you might find a way to communicate. also, i'm not sure what it is that you wish: to let her know she was improper or something else. communication is key in any relastionship, from the butcher to one's partner/slave/submissive/Dom/female Dom/Master/whatnot. making pathways to ensure communication is beyond important, it is vital.

Cloudz -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:26:19 PM)
Larry, Trust me, I understand the need to toss off an occasional rant. I would not broadcast her handle though. Chances are the stigma will end up on you, not her - as she will simply create a new handle. Be Well, Cloudz

aurora31 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:32:34 PM)
Hey, what about Doms who do the same thing...talk to them one night..they say they will call agian the next night ....then nothing. It can be very frudtrating...eapecially when there were high hopes for the possiblities. We had been talking over 3 months had met r/t and had plans to meet again provided we could find a weekend we were both free. Doms and subs are both guilty of doing things that are not right. I guess you just try your best to move on and try not to hold it against the next prospect. aurora

MasterHyde -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:36:07 PM)
If your relationship with this "slave" was limited to online contact, and the length of time was a few weeks or less, then guess what? Your relationship was average. I regret to inform you that a large number of people on this site and others are not ready for a real relationship. Some of them think they are, but for one reason or another, they get cold feet after a short time. Others are simply here to "play" in this virtual playground we call the Internet. Some will be forthcoming and tell you that right away. Some will not. If I had a dollar for every person I met who just "quit" without any explanation, I'd be vacationing somewhere tropical right now.

happypervert -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 2:56:54 PM)
It is impossible for any of us to know what really went on here because we'll only get one side of the story. It isn't unusual to see female subs make similar posts complaining about rude or stupid e-mail they get from doms, and the advice is always to block them. And since your only contact was by e-mail you don't even know if you were talking to a woman. So it's tough to sympathisize for those reasons and also because it isn't a big deal -- it was just e-mail after all. Really doesn't seem even worth a rant. Life goes on.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 3:08:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aurora31 Doms and subs are both guilty of doing things that are not right. I guess you just try your best to move on and try not to hold it against the next prospect. aurora I agree. People on both sides do this same thing of just cutting contact and it's very frustrating. They don't even see it as right to at least give an explaination as to why. In my book, if they can't be an adult enough to at least say hey, I'm not interested then they need to just go back and hang out at the play ground with those that they are mental equals with and stop wasting an adults time. Ah, ranting is good for the soul.

ModeratorSeven -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 3:11:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cloudz Larry, Trust me, I understand the need to toss off an occasional rant. I would not broadcast her handle though. Chances are the stigma will end up on you, not her - as she will simply create a new handle. Be Well, Cloudz Good advice Cloudz. Not to mention that outing someone in that fashion goes against Collarme's TOS. Mod7

sub4hire -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 3:19:08 PM)
quote: This is all after last week her sending me an email saying she is my slave and will always remember it. Didn't this sentence give you a clue before it happened? She spoke in past tense. No telling what happened. If it was under her control or not. Bottom line is this is online. What more do you expect? I have some great friends I've known for year's here. Yet, I would never have a significant relationship with one of them before even meeting them face to face. If you leave yourself open you're bound to get burnt along the way.

IronBear -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 4:59:32 PM)
If you consider the internet as an illusion and all cyber relationships are transient in the most part, you can take what joy you can from the moment and when the moment is gone keep the joyfull memories and move on to the nest little ray of sunshine. Its just an instant version of pen friends. Sometimes, just sometimes you find a solid friendship which can be built on, however only time will be the judge of that. "With them the Seed of Wisdom did I sow, And with my own hand labour'd it to grow : And yjis was all the Harvest that I reap'd- I came like Water, and like Wind I go." ~Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam~

jro2020 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 6:04:08 PM)
<G> just had the same thing happen. I don't think you are supposed to post handles on the board at least as far as complaints go, mailing them to people who want to avoid such people thogh is a different matter ;-)

MistressYlwa -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 7:30:54 PM)
Master Hyde I would be there with you. lol Happens more often than not. And not just on collarme. Things seem good until its time to get real. Then there is nothing but dead air. Why I don't allow myself to get attached. Can be hurtful, if not discouraging. Hang in there. It will happen for you. As for who she is? She is one of a hundred, male and female, we all have met online, somewhere. Names may change, but actions........ oh, well. Mistress Ylwa You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

swtnsparkling -> RE: sub that just quit (11/8/2005 7:56:50 PM)
Sorry to hear that Larry, Nope, No need to give any name. I'll bet a bundle this chick ( yes and some men included) have probably done this before. People like her are always found out.................always. Then there will be another name change and so on goes the game

yourGentlemanDom -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 9:17:06 AM)
I second every word you wrote Sir, perhaps some are even understatements. Sadly, I think it's not even average it's almost the norm. Most subs on this site are players and if I offended those who are not , I appologize but that has been my experience. Many disappear after just one word or opinion they didn't like without as much as bothering to explain. The record so far is held by a 'lady' on this site with whom I corresponded intensively for over a month and on the day we were supposed to meet , she said on the phone, hang on for a minute I am gooing to look up your address....and didn't even bother to call back and inform me that she has changed her mind.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 10:45:22 AM)
quote: I had a slave that I found on a different site but she is also a member of this site that all of a sudden has quit making contact. I went to send her an short note on here to get a message back that I was blocked. This is all after last week her sending me an email saying she is my slave and will always remember it. I feel compelled to release her handle so others are truly warned about her, but will not. I do want to let all subs/slaves know that it is only fair to let someone you have agreed to serve know whats going on and if things for any reason appear to not be working out let the Dom know and given a chance to see if it can be remedied. Course not all things can but some can. It is EXTREMELY unfair to just leave a Dom you have made a promise to with no explanation or communication that something is wrong. This slave sent the last email and then just disappeared. She knows who she is and hopefully she will realize that she has acted inproperly! Thanks for letting me rant....... Did you actually have real time physical contact with this slave or was it all e-mail? Curious, Lily

BeingChewsie -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 10:50:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourGentlemanDom I second every word you wrote Sir, perhaps some are even understatements. Sadly, I think it's not even average it's almost the norm. Most subs on this site are players and if I offended those who are not , I appologize but that has been my experience. Many disappear after just one word or opinion they didn't like without as much as bothering to explain. The record so far is held by a 'lady' on this site with whom I corresponded intensively for over a month and on the day we were supposed to meet , she said on the phone, hang on for a minute I am gooing to look up your address....and didn't even bother to call back and inform me that she has changed her mind. Wow, that is just plain rude.

windchymes -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 12:40:02 PM)
Unfortunately, the invisibility and anonymity of the internet makes it easy to be rude. chymes

Larry862 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 1:19:21 PM)
Ok, a bit of an update. We chatted online for a period and then had physical meets... so it wasn't just online. The confusing thing is the last word I had heard was how she was my slave and will always be and how wet she gets just thionking about me.... etc etc etc. That was 2 days before we were suppose to meet again and then nothing... no show on the meet, no calls, no online no nothing... For those saying same with Doms, I fully agree its not right for either side to not give the courtesy of an explanation to the other. It takes time for a Dom to find a sub he is interested in and she is in him then to build a level of trust so a meeting is possible... then to start the proces of learning each other... To just quit with no explanation is not respectful or fair to eaither. Even if it was ok with the site I would not give out the subs name or handle. That also is not right. But I admit I hope another Dom does not go through the same with her.

Larry862 -> RE: sub that just quit (11/9/2005 1:27:31 PM)
One other thing I was not implying in any manner that this is unique to this site by any means. I know it happens all over... I have read many different explanations as to why. How its a fanatsy of those then when the real opperuntinty presents itself they run scared. This sub told me she had years of past expierence so that should not have been the case. I also am a strong believer in communication and I do not know how many times I stressed that. That I demand communication, if there are issues express them. Course in a resapectful manner, but express them. It helps espically when its with a fairly new sub... there is a learning curve on both sides and communication helps accelerate that curve.

frillsnfings -> RE: sub that just quit (11/10/2005 2:42:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happypervert It is impossible for any of us to know what really went on here because we'll only get one side of the story. It isn't unusual to see female subs make similar posts complaining about rude or stupid e-mail they get from doms, and the advice is always to block them. And since your only contact was by e-mail you don't even know if you were talking to a woman. So it's tough to sympathisize for those reasons and also because it isn't a big deal -- it was just e-mail after all. Really doesn't seem even worth a rant. Life goes on. Sums it up nicely... i thought. :-) Happens to all of us. Get over it. The fact You met her really doesn't change anything. Same deal... Happens to all of us. Get over it. Seems a bit harsh.. but that's life. The subs will have some beaut stories to tell of 'things said' and lies told and i have no doubt most of the Dom/mes too. Thats why 'go-slow' mode is such good advice. Hope things work out for You. All the best.

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