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RE: sub that just quit - 11/10/2005 9:07:38 PM

justme48

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

i was very new to the lifestyle about a year ago. i was contacted by a nearby experience Dominant from another site. He was perfect(which should have been my first clue). We met a month after talking on IM. i thought something wasn't quite right when i called his home and a woman answered. He claimed it was his exwife, and she was trying to take the house in a court battle. We met again a month later and he gave me a collar, calling me his slave. For months there were broken dates, occasional phone calls and emails.Whenever i questioned him, i was being "impatient". Finally i got the strenght to call his home. When the same woman answered, i asked who she was ..."i am his wife", she said. He still denied it, while asking me to sign a slave contract. Because he was a therapist, he was skilled at manipulation. He strong me along for 9 months and then left the country. i denied all the warning signs and suppose i deserve what i got...however, he worked hard at earning my trust and once i gave it , i followed blindly. He knew how to manipulate..being a therapist. To this day, i sometimes blame myself for not being good enough for him.

(in reply to Larry862)

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RE: sub that just quit - 11/11/2005 7:16:59 AM

Larry862

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline

Oh trust me it is not the end of the world... I was searching when I met her, now I will search for another........but I disagree in that its "no big deal". Even making that statement strikes me that the person stating it feels the action is ok. Which in my opionon, it's not, never will be for either side. To me a sub or Dom that does such things has no respect for themself, so how will they ever be able to show the respect required to anyone else.

(in reply to frillsnfings)

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Post #: 22

RE: sub that just quit - 11/11/2005 5:39:07 PM

nymbus

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Larry862

I had a slave ...

No, you didn't.

(in reply to Larry862)

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Post #: 23

RE: sub that just quit - 11/14/2005 12:57:50 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

If you consider the internet as an illusion and all cyber relationships are transient in the most part, you can take what joy you can from the moment and when the moment is gone keep the joyfull memories and move on to the nest little ray of sunshine.

Zen Master IronBear! *grin*

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 24

RE: sub that just quit - 11/14/2005 1:16:38 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Hi Larry,

Does this gal have a phone? Have you called? It could be something as simple as getting having an unexpected and catastrophically expensive bill of some sort eating up her money and not having the $$$$ to pay her phone or ISP bills.

*understands THAT scenario well having just had his phone and cable cut off for some time because of an expected and large emergency expense....*

Everyone so far has been assuming that she's just dumped you but there could be lots of other reasons for the loss of contact. Maybe she had a house fire and lost everything, pc, phone, cel... Everything!. Maybe she was arrested for shoplifting and is spending some time at the county lock-up. Maybe she was in an automobile accident and was killed. Maybe her ex finally tracked her down and they've gotten back together. Maybe she found someone new to play with. Perhaps a child got sick and she's been at the hospital at her child's side all this time.

My point is this: This gal you were seeing could have ANY number of reasons for disappearing for a while. Some of them are legitimate, real life reasons to blow off a date and stay missing a while. Some of them may just be excuses to stop seeing you.

Do you know where she works? Call and ask if she's come in. If they ask what you are calling in reference to, all you have to say is that you haven't seen or heard from her in a while and you were worried. People understand that. Don't ask to speak to her and if they offer to take a message, graciously decline.

All may not be lost and you may hear from her soon. Patience is good thing.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

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Post #: 25

RE: sub that just quit - 11/16/2005 7:22:28 PM

redheadedfire4u

Posts: 104
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

If you consider the internet as an illusion and all cyber relationships are transient in the most part, you can take what joy you can from the moment and when the moment is gone keep the joyfull memories and move on to the nest little ray of sunshine. Its just an instant version of pen friends. Sometimes, just sometimes you find a solid friendship which can be built on, however only time will be the judge of that.

"With them the Seed of Wisdom did I sow,
And with my own hand labour'd it to grow :
And yjis was all the Harvest that I reap'd-
I came like Water, and like Wind I go."
~Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam~

Ah we have something in common IronBear, this is one of my favorites Sir,

"Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse ----- and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness ---
And Wilderness is Paradise enow."

Do You also enjoy "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran?
My personal favorite is when the rich man says, "Speak to us of giving" ...
but to reread when Almitra says, "Speak to us of love" after having found L/s brings new perspective to the words.

warm smiles to all

_____________________________

Driver1961's girl "wild child" and loving sister to His angel

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 26

RE: sub that just quit - 11/18/2005 9:46:35 AM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

enters dips lips, smiles to all..............

To follow on from Reheaded's eloquence........... Admittedly,Psychological pain can never measured against anothers'. Pain is pain but yes so it is life. A part of our learning

Yes to 'frillsn'things' "Get over it", harsh but very true, spade to a spade.

Larry, I ask how serious this anyway, there is protocol of respectul manners that so many wannabees seem to neglect. Perhaps you are a 'Lifestyler' and she is not? Her loss in showing her lack of 'Learning" Your gain for being shown this incompatability....

Smiles to all, Departs

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to redheadedfire4u)

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Post #: 27