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Women & Dogs.. - 6/30/2008 9:41:50 PM

emmie83

Posts: 35
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that farts are funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you.

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

Both look stupid in hats.

Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Both tend to have "hip" problems.

Neither understand football.

Both look good in a fur coat.

Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.

Neither believe that silence is golden.

Both constantly want back rubs.

Neither can balance a check book.

You can never tell what either of them is thinking.

Both put too much value on kissing.

HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.

Women look good in sweaters.

Women leave the room to fart.

Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.

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Post #: 1

RE: Women & Dogs.. - 6/30/2008 10:25:18 PM

JulieorSarah

Posts: 552
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline

i DON'T share my chocolate ... particularly with a dog!

(in reply to emmie83)

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Post #: 2

RE: Women & Dogs.. - 6/30/2008 10:26:52 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i'm so much better at begging...

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to JulieorSarah)

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Post #: 3

RE: Women & Dogs.. - 6/30/2008 11:33:12 PM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

I wouldn't recommend torturing your dog. They're far less forgiving.
Girls smell better.
Girls talk dirty.

having said that...

a dog will never complain if you give it a bone.

(in reply to christine1)

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Post #: 4

RE: Women & Dogs.. - 6/30/2008 11:47:59 PM

chickpea

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline

I aspire to be a puppy...

_____________________________

Congrats to both In the end it was win-win. Now let's get to work http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/05/john-mccain-concedes-election http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/17/transition.wrap/index.html

(in reply to HypnoticDan)

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Post #: 5

RE: Women & Dogs.. - 7/1/2008 7:54:11 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

quote:

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).

OMG, Last week, coming home from an event, He told me to pee before we left - by the time He stopped again, I was in so much pain I was crying.
And He knew why. And He was none to gentle going over the fucking RR tracks, either.

quote:

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Esp if you are going to share me....

quote:

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Okay, it is not so much the shampoo I care about, I just don't want a man who smells like coconut Lime Vebenna Lemongrass Cherry Chocoa. Is that too much to ask?

quote:

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Oh, Yea ... Love doing that < eg>

quote:

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

well, yes... the longer I have been kneeling naked by the door in Tower, the happier I am going to be when He is finally home. Natch. (But I am gonna want to kiss his shoes and smell His butt...)

quote:

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Yea, but will dogs go out and FIND the other dog for you, and drag them home, going, please, please, please can we play with her?

quote:

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

If you just call me bitch all the time, you'll solve that delemia.

quote:

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Uhmm... anyone? everyone? just jump right in on this one... What woman here are you thinking does NOT get excited by Rough Play?

quote:

Dogs love red meat.

esp. if it is Raw.

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Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Yea, Master is not very harsuit, but I have to admit, I really do like that in a man.

quote:

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

Lot of women like that, too.

quote:

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

If another woman is gorgeous, I'm going to tell her so. Then come on to her. But if that bothers you...

quote:

Dogs don't shop.

This one does.

quote:

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

find a woman who is enough of a bitch all month long, and maybe that won't change...

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Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

esp. smaller dogs. (that one I slipped in just in case Master, a bonafide small axellery dog type of man, reads this. Who knows, might get me beaten.)

quote:

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

oo..ooo....oooooo... gun play! Can we do that next!

quote:

Dogs never expect gifts.

Have you ever owned a dog? all the ones I have ever owned expect a gift everytime you leave the house.

quote:

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Are you saying I am illegeal right now?

quote:

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

If you don't believe that I am 'ready 24 hours a day', just ask Master. He has to say no 20 times a day.

quote:

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

or anywhere else. Anywhere, Anytime, Master.

quote:

HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
Both look stupid in hats.

I DO NOT! (<--- owns over 85 hats, and counting. Took four hats, and four pair of shoes, on our last 2 day vacation)

quote:

Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Okay, chocolate is really, really bad for Dogs. It can, like, kill them.
So if a dog lives in your house, you should eat all the chocolate. You are just trying to take care of the dog, really. Doing it out of the goodness of your heart. For realz.

quote:

Both tend to have "hip" problems.

Yea, but the Dogs hip problem can't be cured with a flogging.

quote:

Neither understand football.

I do, however, understand how to give you a blowjob that lasts the whole game, taking a break during commericials to fetch you a beer. Can your dog do that?