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chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 7:34:40 AM   
nhite


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		so... those early days when your mind is all aflutter with possibilites of things you wish to explore, things you wish to feel more than you care about your next breath (relax, its creative license, not literally)  things you see EVERYONE else around you experiencing and enjoying and exploring and discussing and you have no doubt whatsoever about your willingness or desire to explore it, you just lack one thing -- the 'someone else' that is mandatory for exploring submission or bottoming

the brain knows abouts patience and tolerance and the importance of it being RIGHT instead of being now and that rightness is worth the wait...  but curiosity pulls like a pack of untrained mastiffs on a leash and deafeningly howls in your ears just as loudly

it's so hard being kept on the other side of the velvet (silk, leather, hemp....)   ropes knowing that no amount of reading or imagining will ever truly convey the nuances of the experience

i've tried chanelling the efforts into other thing and while the kitchen floor looked totally fab ;)    it didnt change the internal restlessness

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 8:21:23 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Generally when I've had a new person such as yourself.  Knowing their hormones were taking over their body and not wanting to see them get hurt. 
I'd take them to a party.  Speak to someone I trust and allow them to play.  Get some of their frustrations out.  Of course this only makes you want more and more.
Yet, it gives you a safe outlet.

So, find a munch.  Tell them you are new.  Tell them you are aching to play somewhere.  More than likely they can take you to a party and chaperon you.

Talk to the host, not to the whole world when you go.


(in reply to nhite)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 8:47:38 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		nods .. take it real time ... go to your local munch ... make yourself known to the greeters ... take people with a pinch of salt

I know in my local scene there is a lot of totally no strings very safe play just knocking around ... I mean totally no strings and totally safe ... but that is because my local scene is small ... and everyone knows everyone else .. obviously you ask around and get references but I know plenty of people who play together out of mutual interest in a given kink and nothing more, no sex, no power exchange, no drama. 

WHILE I WOULD NOT ADVISE JUMPING INTO BONDAGE WITH A RANDOM STRANGER ... mixing in your local scene may well introduce you to a couple or another sub who has similar interests and then you can explore in safety while still looking out for a decent partner.

I am Owned ... but Sir is on the other side of the world ...I dont have any interest in submitting to or having sex with anyone but Him .. but I still manage to have some play from time to time .. otherwise I would just plain go mental. I have a couple of sub friends who I play with ... few months ago we had a girls night in with a box of needles and a surgical stapler ... fun was had by all ... in safety ... A local Dom is going through some rope work with me ... I know many many people in my local scene who do this on a semi regular basis. Within my network of RT friends there is a fair amount of totally casual friendly play in the local clubs... It works for us .. and so it must happen in other places around the world.

Just be safe, and sensible ... don't go trying breath play with some random dude in the car park of a club ... do get references and dont be afraid to say .. "No Ta Buster!" ... apply common sense and dont get led down a dangerous path by your totally normal sub frenzy .... best of luck .. I hope you ahve a wild old time!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 8:56:02 AM   
nhite


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		that's damn compassionate of you :)   wish that was more easily found - although i must be honest and say that i tend to be very quiet in group settings until i get a feel for folks;  i know it works against me and i strive to nudge those limits, at the same time, i am who i am

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Generally when I've had a new person such as yourself.  Knowing their hormones were taking over their body and not wanting to see them get hurt. 
I'd take them to a party.  Speak to someone I trust and allow them to play.  Get some of their frustrations out.  Of course this only makes you want more and more.
Yet, it gives you a safe outlet.

So, find a munch.  Tell them you are new.  Tell them you are aching to play somewhere.  More than likely they can take you to a party and chaperon you.

Talk to the host, not to the whole world when you go.



(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 10:04:59 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nhite

that's damn compassionate of you :)   wish that was more easily found - although i must be honest and say that i tend to be very quiet in group settings until i get a feel for folks;  i know it works against me and i strive to nudge those limits, at the same time, i am who i am




there is nothing wrong with taking your time and geting to know people...

also,  your local munch community will have some classes from time to time...

(in reply to nhite)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 10:56:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Go find a public venue. Meet people. Ask somebody if he or she would be willing to top you.
Join a munch and get to know people, ask someone if they would like to top you. Get invited to a play party and do the same.

You don't need to find your one. You just need to meet various different ones in a safe place to experiment.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to angelikaJ)
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RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 11:42:30 AM   
nhite


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		our munch doesnt do classes or demos - we meet at restaurants and cant

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 1:46:18 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		My kitchen floor looks like crap.  Can I train you in the ways of a service submissive?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to nhite)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/1/2008 3:34:11 PM   
nhite


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		according to the official handbook my answer can be nothing less than  "as you wish sir"  

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/3/2008 8:04:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nhite
our munch doesnt do classes or demos - we meet at restaurants


So? You meet the people every month, you become friendly, exchange phone numbers. Become friends with another sub and ask his/her permission to see if their dominant would be interested in topping you so you could explore some. If one's regarded as the best rope expert in the bunch, ask him to do shibari on you. You can be fully dressed.

And ask the needle top if she'd be willing to demonstrate on you what that feels like.

The point is that once you've become friendly and that you aren't interested in breaking up a good relationship, but are just interested in feeling new sensations, people will be more okay with saying yes.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to nhite)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: chanelling curiosity - 7/3/2008 8:11:17 AM   
nhite


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		its not as clean cut easy as that,  there are a ton of variables not covered in the scenario not the least of which is that attendance at munches is fluid and ever-changing you never know if you're seeing that person you liked talking to or not and its not apparent at a munch who the shibari top or the needle top etc is  ---  but everyone has their own way of navigating the course  

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
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