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Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 12:41:31 PM

candystripper

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I've seen many threads speculating that s-types who are maso got that way because of abuse, etc.

What do you think causes a desire for sadism?

In replying, please try and maintain the distinction between sadism and abuse.

Thank you.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 7/1/2008 12:42:05 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 12:51:48 PM

thetammyjo

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For me, when I'm arouse, I hurt my partner.

Might be gripping his arms tightly or scratching my nails down his back or biting him, but I will hurt him.

So I think to some extent it's just natural for me.

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 2

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 1:21:17 PM

WhisperSupremacy

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Joined: 4/7/2008
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I think each person's situation differs,...but that's just my opinion. I'm sure the reasons behind my desire for sadism are completely different from several others on this board. Physically, I have NEVER been abused my entire life,...I have NEVER abused any girlfriend or any woman at all for that matter.......Mentally, I've been used, abused, mind-fucked, manipulated, and completly screwed up due to a couple specific relationships prior to my involvement with bdsm. I'm sure in some way, the mental abuse of my past has melted a partial desire towards my interest in physical sadism of today..... Either that, or I was just born weird, haha.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 1:28:05 PM

LadyPhoenixRisen

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Joined: 5/28/2008
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I feel sort of animalistic when I am extremelly aroused. I think that being sadistic is just an offset of that feeling in me. It is pretty natural for me to bite, or be aggressive so adding in the whip or cock torture is just another step in the arousal process for me. Having an orgasm without all of that is nice, having one with it...there are no words.

Phoenix

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(in reply to WhisperSupremacy)

Post #: 4

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 1:59:18 PM

DominantJenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I've seen many threads speculating that s-types who are maso got that way because of abuse, etc.

What do you think causes a desire for sadism?

In replying, please try and maintain the distinction between sadism and abuse.

Thank you.

candystripper

I strongly disagree with the theory that masochists are that way due to abuse; I've known too many masochists who were never abused for that to be valid.
I think it's something genetic/hard-wired in the brain/nervous system/etc. in both cases. As with sexual orientation, I think there's a broad spectrum, with most people falling somewhere in the middle, and extremes (s/m at one end, zero ability to translate pain as pleasure at the other) at either end.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 5

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 2:01:14 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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we had a thread on this last week ... called .. Questions for Sadists

for someone who has been around a while ... you must have heard mention of the search button?

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(in reply to DominantJenny)

Post #: 6

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 2:22:16 PM

missturbation

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quote:

we had a thread on this last week ... called .. Questions for Sadists

for someone who has been around a while ... you must have heard mention of the search button?

Hey She-ra, you are hallucinating again, there is no search button.
You and your imaginary stuff - tuts

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(in reply to softness)

Post #: 7

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 2:27:36 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

sorry ... sorry ... I forgot ... none of this is real! .,..

*returns to her knitting ... thats certainly real*

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 8

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 3:04:42 PM

TysGalilah

Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I've seen many threads speculating that s-types who are maso got that way because of abuse, etc.

What do you think causes a desire for sadism?

In replying, please try and maintain the distinction between sadism and abuse.

Thank you.

candystripper

I can only speak for myself
Passion for intensity. Intense feelings, intense emotions and the ability/desire to express and feel ( release) them.

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galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 9

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 3:10:48 PM

BlueHnS

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Cause that damn tormented whimper that slithers through me where nothing else can touch is so damn sexy!

~ Blue ~

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Post #: 10

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 3:46:53 PM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
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candystripper,
I truly have no idea why, but taking someone to heights of pleasure /pain/ agony/ecstacy makes me so aroused I think I could cut glass sometimes.

Constrictor1

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 11

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 4:06:17 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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Well i was abused and at that time there was no arousal , no pleasure or enjoyment for me what I experience now is totally different, at first it scared the bloody hell out of me and i had a flash back and panicked the first time, it was his holding me calming me , letting me know how much he care and promising he would never abuse me and letting me know I would always have the power to stop a scene that help convince me to try again and i mentally had to work at making myself relax and I was able to see, heal and feel his pleasure and started experiencing the sensations of pleasure and arousal from and then when I entered sub space .it was like wow ..give me more..I still have retained my fears of abuse and the pain from that but pain play with a dom I have a mental connection to is totally different ... I would imagine most maso's if they stub a toe hard are not going to process that pain as pleasure and arousal

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(in reply to BlueHnS)

Post #: 12

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 5:02:43 PM

rook42

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Joined: 10/2/2005
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Humans are vicious creatures; a chemical response from aggression is hardwired, I think. I have had no abuse in my life, and I think I am more sane and rational than the majority of our society(Not saying much, but still).

However, I still can have a very physical reaction from hurting a willing partner. A big part of it is the identification and intimacy that comes from some types of play; you'll never get much closer than under someone's skin, and you'll never have more of their focus than when you're playing their reactions.

There's a big difference between being some flavor of honest sadist and being a venomous snake, though... You can be pretty damn vicious without rationally feeling malice, or attempting to justify your tastes. I personally believe nonsense reasons, views of others deserving pain, or attempts to use pain as a proxy for ego are a bit more likely to be maladapted.

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 13

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/1/2008 11:01:49 PM

candystripper

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My sadistic friends sometimes speak of 'a beat inside' which from time to time 'must feed'.

Anyone identify with this idea?

candystripper

(in reply to rook42)

Post #: 14

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/2/2008 1:58:59 AM

SurrenderForMe

Posts: 229
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Some people do become sadists from abuse. Some people become masochists from abuse. I don't see it as the norm, just one of the statistics.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 15

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/2/2008 3:03:47 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Well, I can't speak for Others but for Me I found I enjoyed "giving" pain to ones who needed it. It's never abuse and never will be because I only do it within limits.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 16

RE: Speculation on the Desire for Sadism - 7/2/2008 3:07:32 AM

Ialdabaoth

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

I've seen many threads speculating that s-types who are maso got that way because of abuse, etc.

What do you think causes a desire for sadism?

Personally, I think my own desire for sadism comes from wanting to prove my control over another's environment and feelings. It also comes from having deeply identified with the people who abused me when I was younger, to the point of realizing that hurting people who can't do anything to stop you is fun.

quote:

In replying, please try and maintain the distinction between sadism and abuse.

I don't distinguish between sadism and abuse. I have a hard enough time distinguishing between consentuality and insanity.

< Message edited by Ialdabaoth -- 7/2/2008 3:08:46 AM >

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 17

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