Me!!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Me!!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Me!!

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Me!! - 11/8/2005 8:44:41 PM

ladyliza3

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

ive had a Master b 4 but seems my babyblues make the man give in to me to much and i need discipline..think a Mistress would be strict more for me ??

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 12:29:14 AM

misstressbexuk

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

depends on the mistress

(in reply to ladyliza3)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 4:40:36 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyliza3

ive had a Master b 4 but seems my babyblues make the man give in to me to much and i need discipline..think a Mistress would be strict more for me ??

The right Master or Mistress will be able to meet your needs. You don't give much information about how long you have spent in a relationship...it takes time to learn a person's limits and favorite manipulation tactics. I would suggest having a conversation about your tendency to attempt to manipulate the situation (nothing new). I suspect some honest communication will clear the matter up for you rather quickly.

~Cloudz

(in reply to ladyliza3)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 5:19:25 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

I know what you mean, though others will think we are both crazy.

At 57, I'm no longer as physically "cute" as I once was, but apparently still have that damn "cute" personality. It's who I am and it probably got me a lot of play in my life, but I hate it. When you are cute or funny or cuddly or whatever the damn hell it is, you get away with things. Things you don't want to get away with. Yes I'm funny and like to laugh, but I still need discipline and strictness. I can't tell you how many times I have started relationships or even just evenings telling women, "I need/want strict control. Don't let me get away with anything."

The sad thing is, sometimes you just have to look for a partner who doesn't dig you, who isn't amused, doesn't much like your personality, bubbliness or wit. Either that or someone who decides you talk too much at the outset and just gags you (in your case...maybe blindfolds those babyblues). You may get what you want for a night, but that's no way to find a relationship.

I suspect both of us would do better with a Domme of the same sex who wouldn't buy any of it, but for me, I only want female Dommes.

(in reply to Cloudz)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 5:31:09 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyliza3

ive had a Master b 4 but seems my babyblues make the man give in to me to much and i need discipline..think a Mistress would be strict more for me ??

It sounds as if you are just looking for another venue for manipulating the dominant. You complain that you need more discipline and that sounds as if you are misbehaving in order to get it. If a dominant tolerates this kind of behavior it's also "giving in."

If you want discipline 1/ look for it within yourself and 2/ ask for it, don't try to coax the behavior out of your dominant.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ladyliza3)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 7:46:22 AM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

John, what in the OP's post made you think that she was manipulating or misbehaving?? The fact that she identifies herself as being cute? Or wanting a Dom who will not indulge her?

As I said, I've been in similar situations. Sometimes serving and attempting to satisfy as completely and fully as possible winds up with one being viewed as (at least temporarily) a perfect sub, without the need for further control. I don't want to have to act up or act incompetantly in order to gain the secure feeling of control or of a tighter rein. I want a Mistress to be attracted to me, amused by me and satisfied by me: that She wants very much to keep me around and yet still feel and act as though She still has the upper hand.

I'm not necessarily talking about discipline here, at least in the physical sense. That is a somewhat different story because it may be given as reward as much as "punishment" depending on the Dom/me. I don't need or want punishment to make me act properly. I'd prefer to get the discipline I sometimes want precisely because I am good and deserve it (and because She enjoys it too)

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 9:20:43 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

"Don't let me get away with anything" implies that you are either TRYING to get away with things, and getting caught, or else that you are incapable of controlling your behavior and need to be watched all the time.

Neither behavior is acceptable to me. Within a SCENE, sometimes SAM behavior is amusing. In daily life, I won't tolerate it. I wouldn't tolerate brattiness and deliberate disobedience in a child, why would I accept it in an adult?

If a person has behavior that needs to be altered or controlled, well that is the time for behavior modification work. Not everyone is up for that kind of thing either. Domme does not equal therapist. Domme does not (generally) equal mommy. If an adult (submissive) does not respond to simple directions, with the motivation being the continued contact with the dominant--ie, PLEASING the dominant, chances are the sub is just being manipulative. {Note that I am not talking about something life changing like helping the sub quit smoking, or lose weight.}

In my observation, male doms often go in for "training", a word that makes me cringe when used in a non-work or animal context. The idea of controlling someone's every move is very appealing to many males. There are women like that, too, but I question how much respect controllers of both sexes have for their subs in the long run.

Ms Francine

(in reply to WalterRego)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 12:45:49 PM

WalterRego

Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline

Thank you, Ms. Francine, I can see what you mean. I hope I am not doing those things. I have never been told that I was or that I acted in a bratty manner, but I will certainly watch myself more carefully.

What I meant was something different. Simply that I like a Mistress who is clear and firm in her rules and requirements. I like a strong hand gripping the leash. I like clarity, directions, responsibilities, rituals. Serious consequences if I fail to comply. That does NOT mean that I need them to comply, but that I want things to be real. I don’t like weak handshakes and I don’t like “Oh that’s okay” Mistresses.

Perhaps I’m more dog like than I care to admit, but I think that like strong fences making good neighbors, clearly understood and required obedience makes for a happier (in my case) sub.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t like to laugh, or have fun, joke around or be tender. I do all those things, but too often in the past I found that exposing those qualities in me brought out behavior in Dommes at odds with the firmness I also wanted..

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 12:57:19 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It's a tough row, WalterRego. I do understand what you mean about rules---but if you want your dominant to be a drill sargeant, you are automatically setting up a wall between the two of you, and all that "mushy stuff" breaches the wall.

Ms F

(in reply to WalterRego)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Me!! - 11/9/2005 1:16:02 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

I dont know about other mistresses or masters, but being a strict mother of two teenage girls very much spoiled by their father - I can deal with all the brats in the world. In fact, I dont care one little bit for that kind of behaviour. Act bratty with me and you can only see my finger pointing to the door - dismissed.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to ladyliza3)

Profile

Post #: 10