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RE: Interactions - 11/9/2005 4:26:47 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I raised an eyebrow at the quote in the OP. A long list of "your dislikes=poor quality dominant" just sounds like a way to subjectively demonize whoever you don't like. If someone chaps your ass - they're "officially bad according to J. Wiseman."


quote:

The original post was a combo rant thoughts from another thread combined with book passage that I found almost immediately after.


Just thoughts to my state of mind after reading ad nausium threads from fucktards that the paragraph seemed to apply to. Those that are on here regularly or who saw that all of the thread was quoted to Jay would realize that my likes & dislikes were never revealed or listed. As far as chapping my ass it takes more than a fucktard to reach that level of expertise.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Interactions - 11/9/2005 4:28:53 PM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		Candy, what we are all saying I think is to find a Dom who will be careful with you, if you are new. I did say find someone you can trust. We could debate all day how dangerous it is to find someone you can trust, but, give me that part as a given. If she finds a reliable Dom, i.e. someone she can trust, she is in good hands. Thanks for getting my exact point even if you disagreed somewhat.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 8:31:03 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

Just thoughts to my state of mind after reading ad nausium threads from fucktards that the paragraph seemed to apply to. Those that are on here regularly or who saw that all of the thread was quoted to Jay would realize that my likes & dislikes were never revealed or listed. As far as chapping my ass it takes more than a fucktard to reach that level of expertise.

theRose4U


You go girl.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/10/2005 8:32:22 AM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 9:02:31 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:

Candy, what we are all saying I think is to find a Dom who will be careful with you, if you are new. I did say find someone you can trust. We could debate all day how dangerous it is to find someone you can trust, but, give me that part as a given. If she finds a reliable Dom, i.e. someone she can trust, she is in good hands. Thanks for getting my exact point even if you disagreed somewhat.

ExistentialSteel


In fact Sir we do not disagree. A submissive certainly can learn/enjoy/grow in interactions with a Dom. i only point out that many self-proclaimed Doms are no such thing.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/10/2005 9:03:13 AM >

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 9:44:30 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i only point out that many self-proclaimed Doms are no such thing.


Here is where I'll disagree.

They may not be right for *you*, but if they can convince at least one person that they are dominant and worthy of a relationship - they're in.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 10:06:13 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girl4you2

what about the hard core sadists who purport to be years into this and that no limits are the best way, and that any stated limits are just there to "break" the slave?

edited by me...spelling again post midnight


You know, they can play as they wish as long as they can find partners that is.

But for anyone to say "this is the best way" and mean that for everyone, is very rude in my opinion and personally doesn't make them stand too high in my eyes.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to girl4you2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 10:38:01 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		On a related area TammyJo, I'd be more likely to say that the "Best" way/s, could legitimately relate to techniques rather than protocols. I think that many of us could agree than in many areas of BDSM there are safe ways to do things (like needle play) and there are unsafe ways. To me it all boils down to the training of the Dom or person playing.

As far as sweeping comments about Dominants v wannabes, yep I'd agree that as long as one sub/slave recognises a person as a Dominant and even submits to him or her, none of us can deny that the person is a Dominant. We can however make personal assessments of the type of Dominant the person is. I'd warrent, that when any one of us comments about wannabes etc, we are making a personal point which only has validity for us and does not encompas the rest of the community. probvably it is a matter of speach/writing habbit/convention v accuracy of meaning.

BTW love reading your posts.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 10:54:03 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

As far as sweeping comments about Dominants v wannabes, yep I'd agree that as long as one sub/slave recognises a person as a Dominant and even submits to him or her, none of us can deny that the person is a Dominant.

Hm. I should say there are plenty of not-so-intelligent or just naive and inexperienced girls/boys out there so every dom/Dom/wannabe/whatever has pretty fair chances of convincing at least someone in the world into whatever they want.

I am sure I can convince at least three people I know that I am a witch and can fly around on a broom (although a vacuum cleaner would be more my thing), but that doesnt make me one. And trust me, I can only fly by plane.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:23:22 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

As far as sweeping comments about Dominants v wannabes, yep I'd agree that as long as one sub/slave recognises a person as a Dominant and even submits to him or her, none of us can deny that the person is a Dominant.

Hm. I should say there are plenty of not-so-intelligent or just naive and inexperienced girls/boys out there so every dom/Dom/wannabe/whatever has pretty fair chances of convincing at least someone in the world into whatever they want.

I am sure I can convince at least three people I know that I am a witch and can fly around on a broom (although a vacuum cleaner would be more my thing), but that doesnt make me one. And trust me, I can only fly by plane.



You mean you dont fly by broom?????? Not even vacume cleaner?????? I like my comfort fo I attach my broom to the skids of the chopper and fly thata way (Mutters about the noise of the motor and how the rotors still keep rotating).

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:35:35 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

On a related area TammyJo, I'd be more likely to say that the "Best" way/s, could legitimately relate to techniques rather than protocols. I think that many of us could agree than in many areas of BDSM there are safe ways to do things (like needle play) and there are unsafe ways. To me it all boils down to the training of the Dom or person playing.

(some snipped)

BTW love reading your posts.


I should have made that clearer, shouldn't I, IronBear.

Yes, with techniques and safety issues there are better and safer ways to do things and very unsafe ways to do things.

I find protocols and things like titles and language are areas where this "one true way" or "best way" are most often promoted. I personally find that attitude offensive partly because as a dominant I want to do things my way and I wouldn't dream of forcing that onto anyone who wasn't kneeling at my feet shall we say.

Thank you, IronBear. I find you post well written and good reading as well. I'm slowly getting to know people on Collarme.com through their posts. (so many people here and yet so many more who don't seem to post anything)

And the rambling continues on....


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:41:08 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In short, yes I do. But then i find most predatory attitudes less than helpfull and often harmfull. What I have found is that the "My kink is better or more real than your kink" attitude is usually found to be in the attitudes of those who by and large are not secure in their kink, lifestyle or thermselves and rather than mastering their kink and them selves and tghus demonstrating the value of their kink, they take the easy road and attack other people's kinks and by doing so drawing light from their own inadequaties.

IronBear


i agree with You Sir (of course) except i think people who go on the attack rather than sit comfortably in their space they have made for themselves do not succeed in drawing the light away from their insecurities and inadequacies; the tactic fairly shouts "i have no f**king idea what i'm doing so can i practice on your life awhile?

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/10/2005 11:48:58 AM >

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:44:00 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The question is if submissives in most Dom/me/Top's view are our most precious posession


A submissive is no more prescious than a dominant. In my books anyways.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:48:04 AM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In fact Sir we do not disagree. A submissive certainly can learn/enjoy/grow in interactions with a Dom. i only point out that many self-proclaimed Doms are no such thing.


Why is it that only one side is ever included? Sure there are a lot of Doms that are no such thing (as you or I see it; not that we see the same on this subject), there are also a lot of subs/slaves who are no such thing either (as you or I see it; not that we see the same on this subject).

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 11:54:18 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Why is it that only one side is ever included? Sure there are a lot of Doms that are no such thing (as you or I see it; not that we see the same on this subject), there are also a lot of subs/slaves who are no such thing either (as you or I see it; not that we see the same on this subject).

D (owner of j)/Wolfie648


My apologies Sir. i spoke as a submissive...but i have Dom and Master friends who are searching who tell me they've been lead down the garden path by some woman. i have also advocated in past threads that Men get a background check on any woman they invite to live in their home. And before we all lose our lunch over social security numbers and identity theft; the report can be obtained by an attorney and SSN redacted (blacked out) with the remainder of the report provided. i feel women should do this as well before moving across country (or emigrating) to be with a Man they know little about.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/10/2005 11:56:28 AM >

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Interactions - 11/10/2005 12:09:59 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

And before we all lose our lunch over social security numbers and identity theft; the report can be obtained by an attorney and SSN redacted (blacked out) with the remainder of the report provided. i feel women should do this as well before moving across country (or emigrating) to be with a Man they know little about.


Now that I can agree with :-)

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Interactions - 11/11/2005 6:06:15 AM   
ExistentialSteel


Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
You mean you dont fly by broom?????? Not even vacume cleaner??????


Be careful with vacuum cleaners, suck your balls right up...yeeeeeeeeoooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.


_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Interactions - 11/11/2005 9:53:03 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		I guess I have been lucky in my choice of groups. No one has ever behaved in such a manner. I don't think it would be tolerated personally. We use a scarf system to show if we wish to play at a group function and what our position is. No scarf, no domination by me.

I am a strong woman and, for the most part, my dominant nature shows. It does not give me the right to control anyone I do not know or do not have the right to.

I cannot speak for Doms and would not presume to speak for other Dommes. But I see each of us as individuals, with individual needs and desires. I express my up front. Do not say I desire something I do not, just because a sub does. In turn, expect them to tell me if something that I desire is not to their liking. This is the point of negotiation, I believe.

Just finding the one who suits your lifestyle takes time. But it is better to find a suitable match than to compromise just to have one.


Mistress Ylwa


You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan


(in reply to ExistentialSteel)
Profile   Post #: 37
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