RE: The trend of a subbmissive (Full Version)

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Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:16:52 PM)

The flip side of the coin is that many 'submissive men' project their fantasies on dominant women without bothering to get to know the woman, thereby treating her as an object to fulfil their own kinks.

I generally ignore these types of people, unless I am in a mood to goof around, in which case I may give them a piece of my mind.

Allowing anyone the ability to affect your emotions is something you must consent to, if you do not consent to feeling degraded, then do not give them the power to make you feel that way - no matter what they say.

Believe it or not, I have had plenty of messages from 'submissive men' who told me that I am not dominant because I do not call them worthless pigs. [:'(]  If I wanted to dominate a worthless pig, I'd put that in my profile.  I don't care what the 'scum subs' think, they are not my type.



beargonewild -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:22:39 PM)

As of yet, I've never came across a Dom who treated me like crap, either online or in real life. In all cases they viewed me as  just another person who has valued opinions and worthwhile traits. Even when I was collared slave, my owner at the time didn't use humiliation as a tool thus he never called me "useless", " a piece of dirt", or any other degrading labels. Though he did use me for his pleasure, yet he had still treasured me as his slave first and as a person second.

It must be stated that my kink doesn't include being degraded and humiliated therefore I don't seek doms or even friends who derive pleasure from degrading a submissive. My belief is you will attract someone who compliments your kinks, likes/dislikes, etc. I think it's all in how you portray yourself that has an effect on how others will treat you, whether here online or in reality.



SurrenderForMe -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:24:35 PM)

I don't know if you are referring to this site or in general, but I don't agree.  I'm sorry something pushed you over the edge.

I don't believe that anyone is worthless based on their orientation.  I have encountered, mostly, human beings trying to interact.  I have encountered people that I assign to living in a dream world or as assholes, who think their orientation allows them to act in discourteous ways.  I've encountered abusive people in the scene.  I've encountered people who have no experience but have read alot, a real lot.  I stay away from them.

My orientation leads me to be with my counterpart (submissives, slaves, bottoms) in relationships.  How can you have a healthy relationship without respect? 

I hope you meet a better class of people soon.  Or at least one.

ps  I have played with humiliation.  I have no problem knowing that when I am done with playing on the edge of someones psyche, I am responsible for bringing them back.  I have encountered groups who do not share that view. 



Prinsexx -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:26:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

I suppose I've seen it online, but I have better things to do that take the opinion of someone I've never met, and probably will never meet, into account and let it affect my life.


Me too........I usually go check the garden for dog turds....way more educational.




NakedOnMyChain -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:30:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

I suppose I've seen it online, but I have better things to do that take the opinion of someone I've never met, and probably will never meet, into account and let it affect my life.


Me too........I usually go check the garden for dog turds....way more educational.




LMAO!  Too true.



SunnyTawse -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:31:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Why is it that just because you are submissive you have to be constantly called worthless and pathetic and whatever else is out there.  <snip>  There are very few things that I wouldn't do for a woman, that being said, I expect some respect in return...that is not a lot to ask for is it?




No, it's not too much to ask. It's a basic, common courtesy.

I have the highest regard for my submissive(s) and for submissives in general, and if I heard any Dominant call any submissive worthless and pathetic outside of scene, my opinion of that Dominant would plummet. It is more a reflection on the Dominant than on the submissive.

Even in scene, I just don't get it. Why would I want a submissive who called themselves or wanted to be called worthless and pathetic? I want a male who stands tall and proud and has something to offer. When that man kneels down to kiss my foot, it means something.

Someone here suggested that such name-calling be considered a sorting tool. I agree. It tells you exactly what you need to know... that you should politely excuse yourself and head the opposite direction.

Best wishes in your search.

Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina
Archon of Rings

http://AthenorLodge.com



pagankinktress -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:31:50 PM)

Good point. It almost becomes a vicious cycle...

And to quote (I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt), "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

The flip side of the coin is that many 'submissive men' project their fantasies on dominant women without bothering to get to know the woman, thereby treating her as an object to fulfil their own kinks.

I generally ignore these types of people, unless I am in a mood to goof around, in which case I may give them a piece of my mind.

Allowing anyone the ability to affect your emotions is something you must consent to, if you do not consent to feeling degraded, then do not give them the power to make you feel that way - no matter what they say.

Believe it or not, I have had plenty of messages from 'submissive men' who told me that I am not dominant because I do not call them worthless pigs. [:'(]  If I wanted to dominate a worthless pig, I'd put that in my profile.  I don't care what the 'scum subs' think, they are not my type.



Leatherist -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:34:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

The question was asked by a "male submissive". Try having some behind the scenes communication with one if you want to understand how much bullshit one goes through.




And just what is a "straight" male dom's experience with the "male submissive"? 

Thanks for the giggle.

Have fun.



Edited because I'm having fun.    




I'll have some fun too then.

Played with them non-sexually for fun and practice.. (including at least one preop transexual that I found a fondness for-he had a great attitude...And everyone else was shunning him-I broke his bdsm cherry. It didn't hurt that he was becoming an extremely cute girl.)

And the FIRST person I ever scened with was a very popular male bottom locally. It gave me my in as a careful top here. That was in 1996. BTE, Pike street in Seattle.

And I'll probably do it again at some point. A lot of these guys are MUCH better at overall respect, emotional and ethical self-control and respecting boundaries than the vast majority of fem subs I have met.

And I can at least *understand* them.

Think about that the next time you folks out there want to label me "intolerant*.

Because it's the *bullshit* I have no tolerance for-nothing more.



Prinsexx -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:39:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside
So why is it that dispite the willingness to do just about anything against their intial will, they still recieve no respect and infact it seems that often times they are disrespected.


In my honest and humble opinion it probably just looks like that from outside of the dynamic. Humiliation is great for some and edge play for others. And I have never done anything against my will in a bdsm context. The only times i remember doing anything against my will was wearing a school uniform and having to conform at school. It still gives me nightmares.

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside
What I would honestly like to see is a change.  The change being submissive stop being treated like crap and constantly being disrespected.



If you really want change for yourself and really want it then you will get it. Sometimes and more often than not it takes patience and time to not only get what you want but to get that you deserve what you want.

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside
Unless it is specifically known or a specific fetish that I have listed...do not call me worthless or whatever else you think of my submissive nature.  There are very few things that I wouldn't do for a woman, that being said, I expect some respect in return...that is not a lot to ask for is it?


Just because you respect another this does not mean you should expect respect in return. The exchange is (for me at least) not about getting what I give. That would be absurd. If I serve a master I do not expect to be served in return. Rather more, as it is my desire to serve I expect to be desired in my service......the more I serve and the more I beg to be able to do so the more I might be, could be, should be, sometimes, often, one time at least be desired for doing so. But I also cannot expect the timing of that exchange to be mine. And I cannot expect that return to be overt just because i need it to be.




Leatherist -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:41:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

The flip side of the coin is that many 'submissive men' project their fantasies on dominant women without bothering to get to know the woman, thereby treating her as an object to fulfil their own kinks.

I generally ignore these types of people, unless I am in a mood to goof around, in which case I may give them a piece of my mind.

Allowing anyone the ability to affect your emotions is something you must consent to, if you do not consent to feeling degraded, then do not give them the power to make you feel that way - no matter what they say.

Believe it or not, I have had plenty of messages from 'submissive men' who told me that I am not dominant because I do not call them worthless pigs. [:'(]  If I wanted to dominate a worthless pig, I'd put that in my profile.  I don't care what the 'scum subs' think, they are not my type.


That's pretty much an "online, married, and wanna cheat without getting caught fucktard" phenomenon.

It's very rare in real life. They would get tossed out of the playspace-and banned.



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:43:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

The question was asked by a "male submissive". Try having some behind the scenes communication with one if you want to understand how much bullshit one goes through.




And just what is a "straight" male dom's experience with the "male submissive"? 

Thanks for the giggle.

Have fun.



Edited because I'm having fun.    




I'll have some fun too then.

Played with them non-sexually for fun and practice.. (including at least one preop transexual that I found a fondness for-he had a great attitude...And everyone else was shunning him-I broke his bdsm cherry. It didn't hurt that he was becoming an extremely cute girl.)

And the FIRST person I ever scened with was a very popular male bottom locally. It gave me my in as a careful top here. That was in 1996. BTE, Pike street in Seattle.

And I'll probably do it again at some point. A lot of these guys are MUCH better at overall respect, emotional and ethical self-control and respecting boundaries than the vast majority of fem subs I have met.

And I can at least *understand* them.

Think about that the next time you folks out there want to label me "intolerant*.

Because it's the *bullshit* I have no tolerance for-nothing more.


If you took anything I said to be bullshit, then you took it incorrectly.  I am a bisexual switch.  I've topped and bottomed to all kinds of different people.  I certainly have experience with male submissives.

It's a shame you've had such a negative experience with female submissives.  The vast majority I've found them just as respectful and kind as male submissives.  You get bad seeds in every genre.  If you let them sway your opinion of the overall then your judgment becomes a little clouded.  I wouldn't say you're intolerant.  I would simply say you're making a rash generalization.  However, we each have only our own experiences and the experiences of those close to us to base things from.



Leatherist -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:43:39 PM)

But when you never get ANY respect, and it's NOT play-even when you try your HARDEST to please-it sucks worse than EATING the dog turds out of the garden. It tastes the same.



Prinsexx -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:45:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist


And the FIRST person I ever scened with was a very popular male bottom locally. It gave me my in as a careful top here. That was in 1996. BTE, Pike street in Seattle.

And I'll probably do it again at some point. A lot of these guys are MUCH better at overall respect, emotional and ethical self-control and respecting boundaries than the vast majority of fem subs I have met.

And I can at least *understand* them.


[sm=pompom.gif] Good post.....Oh I so wish I was a man for a while. Funny I still practice pissing standing up....does that count as respectful........



Leatherist -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:46:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

The question was asked by a "male submissive". Try having some behind the scenes communication with one if you want to understand how much bullshit one goes through.




And just what is a "straight" male dom's experience with the "male submissive"? 

Thanks for the giggle.

Have fun.



Edited because I'm having fun.    




I'll have some fun too then.

Played with them non-sexually for fun and practice.. (including at least one preop transexual that I found a fondness for-he had a great attitude...And everyone else was shunning him-I broke his bdsm cherry. It didn't hurt that he was becoming an extremely cute girl.)

And the FIRST person I ever scened with was a very popular male bottom locally. It gave me my in as a careful top here. That was in 1996. BTE, Pike street in Seattle.

And I'll probably do it again at some point. A lot of these guys are MUCH better at overall respect, emotional and ethical self-control and respecting boundaries than the vast majority of fem subs I have met.

And I can at least *understand* them.

Think about that the next time you folks out there want to label me "intolerant*.

Because it's the *bullshit* I have no tolerance for-nothing more.


If you took anything I said to be bullshit, then you took it incorrectly.  I am a bisexual switch.  I've topped and bottomed to all kinds of different people.  I certainly have experience with male submissives.

It's a shame you've had such a negative experience with female submissives.  The vast majority I've found them just as respectful and kind as male submissives.  You get bad seeds in every genre.  If you let them sway your opinion of the overall then your judgment becomes a little clouded.  I wouldn't say you're intolerant.  I would simply say you're making a rash generalization.  However, we each have only our own experiences and the experiences of those close to us to base things from.


And overall, my interaction experiences with male subs have been BETTER than those with females. And NOT just online.  I've also switched in the past. I know how vulnerable it makes you feel. You never forget.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:54:22 PM)

Yeah, but by his post I figured he meant here on CM. 



Prinsexx -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:54:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

And overall, my interaction experiences with male subs have been BETTER than those with females. And NOT just online.  I've also switched in the past. I know how vulnerable it makes you feel. You never forget.

Inspired by Leatherist but focused for the OP:
I've switched and I have never ever forgotten the responsibility.
I am still an alpha female and will domma a woman and love to top a woman. The responsibility for initiating a woman puts me in awe of responsible dominants.......
biut to make it about the dynamics of switching would be a de-rail.
OK: simple....whilst I cannot 'make' a sominant do anything, even respect me....my role is to consent or not to consent.
As in the well-known: To be or not to be, that is the question.....
the irony IS if you read the words that it isn't even a question.




Zarine -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:55:50 PM)

I've had a few people on CM here and there try to treat me poorly, but it doesn't work out simply because I refuse to deal with those kind of people.  I am not the kind of person that likes humiliation so I just stick to people who aren't into that sort of thing.  Anyone who has a sense of self respect should remember that they do ultimately have the option in this situation.  You can just walk away, and should walk away when someone tries to treat you as a subhuman.  Even though I am submissive, I still believe that men and woman are for the most part equal, each person can be better at different things.



Leatherist -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:57:07 PM)

Try on his shoes in your mind for fifteen minutes. Chew on the angst-does it taste GOOD?



Zarine -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:57:57 PM)

quote:

As in the well-known: To be or not to be, that is the question.....
the irony IS if you read the words that it isn't even a question.




I always say that!



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: The trend of a subbmissive (7/1/2008 9:58:29 PM)

Are you suddenly in love with the OP, or do you just have a bug up your ass tonight?



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