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RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 3:01:41 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

im really curious to know from those who enjoy pain, what it is you experience - hope you dont mind me asking, but ive been dying to ask this for ages.

to put it simply...this slave is wired to experience pleasure as well as sexual stimulation from it.

not that different from someone who is wired to experience pleasure and sexual stimulation from having their pussy licked.

thank you for sharing that - and i understand that, the thing im curious about though, is that, while i dont enjoy the pain and i dont feel turned on by it, i end up really wet anyway, so im getting sexually stimulated too, but not in the same way.

whereas you do get pleasure from the pain, does that mean that pain doesnt register as pain, or it does but it doesnt hurt, or it registers as pain and hurt but your body/mind processes it in a different way.

sorry to keep pushing this... i would like to understand.

< Message edited by lally3 -- 7/3/2008 3:03:53 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 3:21:29 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I think you are talking about the difference between Masochism and Sexual Masochism.

Masochism - even in masochism there is good pain and bad pain but it is more the love of pain and suffering itself. It doesn't have to turn you on sexually. It just has to hurt or make you suffer.

Sexual Masochism – is more erotic pain. It is where pain is erotic stimulus is an enhancement to or substitute for sex. Things like: bite my nipples, cut my thigh with a knife, choke me when you fuck me, threaten me and make me suffer.... things that turn you on.

In the world of BDSM is commonly referred to as “good pain” vs “bad pain.” John Warren’s reply list a variety of forms that pain and suffering take.

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 22

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 4:28:25 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I think you are talking about the difference between Masochism and Sexual Masochism.

Masochism - even in masochism there is good pain and bad pain but it is more the love of pain and suffering itself. It doesn't have to turn you on sexually. It just has to hurt or make you suffer.

Sexual Masochism – is more erotic pain. It is where pain is erotic stimulus is an enhancement to or substitute for sex. Things like: bite my nipples, cut my thigh with a knife, choke me when you fuck me, threaten me and make me suffer.... things that turn you on.

In the world of BDSM is commonly referred to as “good pain” vs “bad pain.” John Warren’s reply list a variety of forms that pain and suffering take.

yes, i read johnwarrens excerpt from 'loving dominant' and ive just read it again, with your explanation in my head too. and the fog is clearing..

so, basically it isnt so much that those who love pain, need pain and will self harm in order to settle things actually feel pain any differently to me - they love to suffer because they deeply need to and it settles them centers them and gives them a fabulous high.

my feeble sufferings are erotically based, by the hand of my D and at no other time, because its entirely based around what he does and what he wants to do and that turns me on.

.. and i guess this is where we have a difference of opinion on whether S&m leads directly to sex or not.

thank you, the fog has lifted.

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Post #: 23

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 5:04:01 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Hey Mist, just FYI --

I used a nerf bat for the first time yesterday. Metal inside, nerf all around. God that was hot. I really will have to get a wiffle bat now.

Oh shit...you tease you....
/swoons

quote:

im really curious to know from those who enjoy pain, what it is you experience - hope you dont mind me asking, but ive been dying to ask this for ages.

Hmmmm...well, I am a masochist...pure, plain, and simple. However...pain DOES NOT get me sexually excited in any way...violence gets me excited...pain is a way for me to keep my own violent tendencies under control. The more pain there is, the better I am able to keep control for longer periods of time. Harsh, but hey, if it works...I use it.

quote:

and ****irishmist, good for u hun, for me its controllable, and uncontrollable, meaning something i asked for (with my partner, i actually went there didnt i?) and something i didnt (i got sick and they had to cut through my throat cause i got an oeractive thyroud gland)

You are quite welcome

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Post #: 24

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 5:30:25 PM

slaveforsure

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline

As seems to be the general consensus --- being a masochist doesn’t mean I enjoy all forms of pain. I will say, however, being a masochist has definitely increased my tolerance for pain. No, I don’t get off from, or even enjoy headaches or body aches or stubbed limbs but my experience with pain as a slave has taught me how to channel it differently I guess…

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 25

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 6:22:35 PM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3
whereas you do get pleasure from the pain, does that mean that pain doesnt register as pain, or it does but it doesnt hurt, or it registers as pain and hurt but your body/mind processes it in a different way.

sorry to keep pushing this... i would like to understand.

For me, I think it is the latter. It hurts when D wants to hurt me, but because it is him doing the hurting it feels good to me (up to a certain point, that is!).

quote:

my feeble sufferings are erotically based, by the hand of my D and at no other time, because its entirely based around what he does and what he wants to do and that turns me on.

I'm with you there. For me, it isn't as much the pain that turns me on, it's the control. When D is completely in control, and I am helpless and at his mercy, that is the bigger turn on. The pain is just icing on the cake, since I am a pain slut, too.

Pain also makes me feel alive, more so than just about any other activity I know. Going through a heavy session is like a cleansing of the spirit for me, whether it is for pleasure or punishment. And yes, the bruises the next day are a delicious reminder! I love squirming in my chair just to set off that little spark of pain.

(in reply to lally3)

Post #: 26

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 8:23:33 PM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I think you are talking about the difference between Masochism and Sexual Masochism.

Masochism - even in masochism there is good pain and bad pain but it is more the love of pain and suffering itself. It doesn't have to turn you on sexually. It just has to hurt or make you suffer.

Sexual Masochism – is more erotic pain. It is where pain is erotic stimulus is an enhancement to or substitute for sex. Things like: bite my nipples, cut my thigh with a knife, choke me when you fuck me, threaten me and make me suffer.... things that turn you on.

In the world of BDSM is commonly referred to as “good pain” vs “bad pain.” John Warren’s reply list a variety of forms that pain and suffering take.

yes yes, this is it. erotic is good, very good!! stubbing my toe on the door and ripping the toe nail off the other night, not so good, it caused all kinds of bouncing, cussing, and maybe a couple of tears. i dont reccomend it.

smooches
lee

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Post #: 27

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 8:29:16 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lolly77

the conversation, obviously, got me thinking, is it the same for you? are they two different kinds of pain? or do u enjoy the pain that comes from "other" factors?
lolly

I can definately answer this for Fox, having just finished suffering a major sunburn with him, from our canoe trip.
Pain in general is bad. Pain from a sunburn, for instance, or a burn at work, or a cut or bug bite... bad
Pain *I* have inflicted, purposely, is good... usually. Even that doesnt always work out to be as good as we'd like.
He definately has to be in the headspace before we have an painplay, orit doesnt do anything for him and conversely nothign for me.

DV

_____________________________

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VampiresLair

(in reply to lolly77)

Post #: 28

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 8:41:49 PM

HardcoreSlave4U

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Its not the pain I enjoy. I get off on surrendering myself to another for pain. I enjoy trusting someone else with the task of providing me pain. The connection that it requires is something that I thrive off of. I am considered a masochist by many and dealing with pain is mental more than anything. I know that I am pleasing my Top by submitting myself for such activity and by continually taking it.

Pain that is not from a scene is pain that I don't enjoy. I have a higher tolerance than most, but it still doesn't mean that I enjoy the pain.

(in reply to lolly77)

Post #: 29

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 9:33:15 PM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

i like pain, the pain i receive from pleasure and play. i do not like pain that comes from getting cut, hit, banging my head or toe, waking up after sleeping wrong, those are not good pain for me.
Cane= good pain, if it is from play, bad pain if i am just swatted with it out of the blue.
Stubbing toe= just all around bad!
Cutting during knife play= good.
Breaking that glass in the sink and getting cut= bad

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i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

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Post #: 30

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 9:49:46 PM

Questen

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline

I get a high from pain, almost any pain(except head aches, those are never fun). But stubbing my toe, to cutting myself accidently, to feeling clothspin zippers, to a good as hard as they can flogging. They all trigger a chemical reaction in me, this causes a mental reaction of pleasure on some level. The real problem I have with this trigger is when I dont want the pain and rush to distract me. When I am trying to focus on work, recreation that requires focus on the action and not the consequences I can not afford the distraction.

In all honesty I have my sexual masochism causes a different reaction. If sex is going to be involved or rather I am sexually attracted to the one adminstering the pain I makes me less and less submissive. If they wish to keep hurting me then they better have me bound because there will come a breaking point at which I will turn on them and let my beast out. Never had a partner that did not want that...nor will I, thank god.

(in reply to BBWnNC72)

Post #: 31

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/3/2008 9:53:32 PM

IdiotMale

Posts: 132
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

For me it isn't the actual pain itself but the fact that the woman gets enjoyment out of hurting me and I am too weak and submissive to stop her.

(in reply to Questen)

Post #: 32

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/4/2008 12:10:51 AM

dragonnette

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

Also speaking for myself, how much I enjoy any type of pain depends a lot on how much fun the Top is having inflicting it. If she's not enjoying it at all, then even my absolute favorite tortures just aren't much fun. If she's having a great time, then I can even stand nipple torture, although it wears me out fast. I think this is why self inflicted pain and surgeon inflicted pain do nothing for me either.

Yes! This. Very much.

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~~
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."-

pet of Ookami

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 33

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/4/2008 8:22:07 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

im really curious to know from those who enjoy pain, what it is you experience - hope you dont mind me asking, but ive been dying to ask this for ages.

to put it simply...this slave is wired to experience pleasure as well as sexual stimulation from it.
not that different from someone who is wired to experience pleasure and sexual stimulation from having their pussy licked.

thank you for sharing that - and i understand that, the thing im curious about though, is that, while i dont enjoy the pain and i dont feel turned on by it, i end up really wet anyway, so im getting sexually stimulated too, but not in the same way.

whereas you do get pleasure from the pain, does that mean that pain doesnt register as pain, or it does but it doesnt hurt, or it registers as pain and hurt but your body/mind processes it in a different way.

sorry to keep pushing this... i would like to understand.

lally,
beth will give her perspective in a second, but first a word from her sadist/Master...

It is more a matter of the source of pain more than the pain itself. The consistency of all the positive pain people is that tooth pain, bone pain, even emotional pain, is self contained. Pain coming from an outside source, especially one with a 'connection' to you, puts the control of the pain into someone else's hands.

I suggest that maybe your body has made that association, but your mind is having a bit of difficulty accepting that reality. After a lifetime of social unacceptability to expressing a reaction of pleasure to pain, it would be expected to not understand how the idea of voluntarily accepting pain within a partnership dynamic can be sensual and sexualized. What is making you "wet" isn't so much the pain, or the thought of receiving pain, but the fact that you've given over control of pain inflicted on you to someone else.

Your brain, as is beth's, is wired to process pain as pleasure under the 'right' circumstance. Understanding it and accepting it is part of self discovery. It has been my experience that the inner conflict of accepting the desire to receive pain is a difficult hurdle. I think the reason is, once again, social acceptance. Look how many threads there are about 'coming out'. What's the problem about telling friends, family, or the world about how happy you are in a relationship? Why is 'coming out' as a submissive partner in a relationship potentially traumatizing? It is the fear of being thought of as a 'pervert' or 'freak'.

Control is a powerful aphrodisiac. Some people are wired sexually to be turned on by giving over control, others by taking it. Pain is but one form of currency in that exchange.

And now a word or two from beth...

it has been this slave's experience that perceiving any sensation as pleasureable is going to depend on a few factors...the context with which your mind processes the sensation, due to actual hard-wiring that you were born with as well as the nurturing your mind received and the intensity/frequency/duration of the particular sensation.

the example this slave gave about having one's pussy licked and perceiving that as pleasurable involves more than just the physical sensation of being licked...otherwise, folks wouldn't care who or what was licking it or how forceful or soft it was being licked.
not everyone enjoys being licked...just like not everyone enjoys being caned or flogged or pissed on.

(in reply to lally3)

Post #: 34

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/4/2008 2:09:26 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

It is more a matter of the source of pain more than the pain itself. The consistency of all the positive pain people is that tooth pain, bone pain, even emotional pain, is self contained. Pain coming from an outside source, especially one with a 'connection' to you, puts the control of the pain into someone else's hands.

I suggest that maybe your body has made that association, but your mind is having a bit of difficulty accepting that reality. After a lifetime of social unacceptability to expressing a reaction of pleasure to pain, it would be expected to not understand how the idea of voluntarily accepting pain within a partnership dynamic can be sensual and sexualized. What is making you "wet" isn't so much the pain, or the thought of receiving pain, but the fact that you've given over control of pain inflicted on you to someone else.

Your brain, as is beth's, is wired to process pain as pleasure under the 'right' circumstance. Understanding it and accepting it is part of self discovery. It has been my experience that the inner conflict of accepting the desire to receive pain is a difficult hurdle. I think the reason is, once again, social acceptance. Look how many threads there are about 'coming out'. What's the problem about telling friends, family, or the world about how happy you are in a relationship? Why is 'coming out' as a submissive partner in a relationship potentially traumatizing? It is the fear of being thought of as a 'pervert' or 'freak'.

Control is a powerful aphrodisiac. Some people are wired sexually to be turned on by giving over control, others by taking it. Pain is but one form of currency in that exchange.

And now a word or two from beth...

it has been this slave's experience that perceiving any sensation as pleasureable is going to depend on a few factors...the context with which your mind processes the sensation, due to actual hard-wiring that you were born with as well as the nurturing your mind received and the intensity/frequency/duration of the particular sensation.

the example this slave gave about having one's pussy licked and perceiving that as pleasurable involves more than just the physical sensation of being licked...otherwise, folks wouldn't care who or what was licking it or how forceful or soft it was being licked.
not everyone enjoys being licked...just like not everyone enjoys being caned or flogged or pissed on.

thanks guys - clearly put, and thanks, i understand it all much better now.

the paragraph ive highlighted in green just about sums it up. being turned on by the eroticism of handing over the control, whatever that control leads to, is certainly how im wired.

i had this naive idea that people who enjoyed 'good' pain felt something different to the pain someone like me feels - i dont know what i thought that would be exactly - i realise now that we probably process the pain in exactly the same way, just we have different triggers. ultimately the outcome is the same too - release, feeling centered and settled.

thanks again xx

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 35

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/4/2008 8:47:27 PM

pettingdragons

Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

It's always annoying when people assume you'd love to hump a cactus just because it'd hurt.

oh look there goes its balls.....

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Post #: 36

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/5/2008 7:50:51 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

after reading this thread, i would have to conclude that i am not a sexual maschocist, but regular maschocist. "Good" pain doesn't turn me on, control from my Sir turns me on, and not even physical control necessarily. He has told me to stand in front of him and stay there as he plays with me with a flicker whip or a single tail, and that is very exciting, if not a little painful, to me.

Now, when he puts me on his table, and starts in with his canes, I am not sexually turned on persay. But, man, if he keeps it up long enough with his thuddy cane, i can subspace with bells on, and i love that feeling, and how it makes me feel later. VERY relaxed! And its not that the pain doesn't hurt - it does. It took me the longest time to get my head around the fact that Sir hurts me and i like it.

After all, "normal" people avoid pain, why am i asking my Sir to inflict it? I still don't totally understand the concept, but am comfortable with the process and not understanding it. After all, if it works - don't break it - or something

.

(in reply to pettingdragons)

Post #: 37

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/5/2008 10:39:42 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IdiotMale

For me it isn't the actual pain itself but the fact that the woman gets enjoyment out of hurting me and I am too weak and submissive to stop her.

Yep.

(in reply to IdiotMale)

Post #: 38

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/5/2008 3:45:16 PM

lolly77

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline

I thank you all
this has been enlightening to me in many ways, and apparaantly some ppl too :)
thanks
lolly

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 39

RE: the masochist and pain - 7/5/2008 8:54:08 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

i like the good pain like when i am in a scene with my M'Lady or presenting myself for practice. when i get hurt from bad pain i do not enjoy it theres no build up no after care just hurt. some folks like different pain stimulus. theres no right way to enjoy this life, enjoy the diversity.

(in reply to lolly77)

Post #: 40

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