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New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 1:26:18 PM

lfsome

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

Well im new to the BDSM style, and I really dont feel like being a Dominant I feel the submissive side is my callinf for this, but the thing is that I really dont have any experience at all and would love to know what to expect from a first session or any way I could train myself or something like that.

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 2:11:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

What to expect? Whatever it is you've chosen to experience with the other person.

Train yourself to do what?

First and foremost- do what works for you, there is no guide or rulebook to self fulfillment, as much as you might want one.

Oh and don't make any commitments to anyone for at least six months.

My advice for Novice Female Submissives

Newbie!

At a loss

I'm a new domme seeking advice

Does a slave also have to be a fool?

sub: totally new concept

Questions for other newbies

The Journey

Starting Out

New to the Life, Help

How to deal?

Request for Advice

Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries

First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master?

First time sub seeking advice

a newbie seeking advice

How can I be a great sub?

Brand new life

Help needed

Emotional Rollercoaster

Welcoming newbies

New to this

Just a few questions

Do's and Dont's

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lfsome)

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 2:19:27 PM

lally3

Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline

hi and welcome and looks like youve got some really interesting stuff to read from LA.. reading as much as you can is a good start - and mostly, dont jump in until youre pretty sure you know what youre looking for - that will change as you grow and change, but you need a firm foundation to work from first.

enjoy the journey and lots of best wishes.

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 2:29:01 PM

lfsome

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

Thanks a lot for all the links, looks like a very informative and interesting read, just what I was looking for

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 2:30:14 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Welcome to the Forums... :-)

For starters, you generally don't "choose" a role (Dom or sub) as you'd choose what shoes to wear - just as you don't choose whether you're straight/gay/bi or male/female. Nature chooses *you*....

I'd think the place to start is to meet and mingle with like-minded people (gays tend to gravitate to gay clubs and sites, for eg) and, being so new to it all, you could do a lot worse than hanging out right here and research what others generally have to say on various topics.

Throwing caution to the wind and jumping straight into a physical scene at the first opportunity is fraught with dangers, most esp for the submissive, and is not something I'd recommend - but of course, I'm not you....

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to lfsome)

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/4/2008 9:21:54 PM

PatienceForHer

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

i tend to go along with Focus' advice of meeting like minded people. Talk to them about any questions you have. Get a feel for what the real lifestyle is like before you jump into your first scene.

Stay safe!

Best,
patience

(in reply to Focus50)

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/5/2008 3:23:14 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

And check here to find like minded people to meet in your area http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html#New%20Jersey

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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

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RE: New to this Sub thing. - 7/5/2008 8:31:22 AM

subsubtle

Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Hey man, welcome to CM.

I just recently had my very first session so I can tell you what it was like. I was incredibly nervous as I'm sure you will be. I was lucky enough to have found a domme who was very experienced and she had no problem dealing with new subs. I walked in the door and the second she closed it, she told me to get down on my knees. She took charge instantly which really helped put me at ease a little bit because I didn't really know the pre-session protocol. It was only after she had already taken charge and ordered me to strip that we briefly discussed my fetishes and she gave me a safeword. Make sure you have a Mistress that will allow you to use a safeword especially for your first session. She will want to know what your fetishes are so give that some though. I noticed your profile just said you want women to take charge with sexual matters but you must have specific things you think about. www.maxfisch.com is a Domme directory and you can search for ones near you. I found mine on craigslist but there are a lot of fakers on there. You can message me if you'd like to talk further. Good luck.

(in reply to Maya2001)

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Post #: 8